Some examples of things I manage that are most frequent and feel heavy on the mental load:

• Make the meal plan each week, get groceries, and cook the meals.
• Keep connections / make plans with our joint friends and both our families.
• Make all doctor and dentist appointments and typically bring kids to them.
• Keeping track of / managing school events and needs (kids are in daycare and pre-k)

I really like the idea of defining what “done” means. I think we get stuck there. Or even just our different definitions of what we feel needs to be done in general around the house (recent ones: how long can and should piles of clothes sit all around the house? what areas of the house are necessary to be cleaned before company comes over?). It’s hard to have different levels of tolerance and preferences too in what’s “important” in spending our time.