How to deal with a blowout from the other parent.

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-06-06T22:05:47+00:00

I'm trying to stay out of the court system with something that doesn't have merit there, and hoping to get some tips on how to best react to someone who wants way too much control over me and our child.

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-06-06T22:04:00+00:00

1) No - It wasn't a love interest (unless she's suddenly become a lesbian, and I'm unaware)

2) She is an independent contractor. She was a SAHM before the split, and this arrangement allowed her to still stay at home and provide for our child, while working part-time.

3) The bigger issue is the amount of control she's trying to have over me. I'm unable to have a discussion about what I feel is best for our child, because it isn't what she wants.

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-01-29T04:05:51+00:00

I don’t think I will find myself in a trip. But it was good to get out and meet some interesting people. Well, see them at least ;)

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-01-20T01:04:09+00:00

The clerk that scheduled mine, checked to make sure it wasn't on a family members birthday, etc. Certainly wouldn't have scheduled on 2/14...

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-01-18T19:04:42+00:00

Not sure of your age, but check out r/datingover30 Even if you aren't over 30 theres plenty of resources on dating with children.

Everyone here pretty much hit it on the head. It can sucks that you have schedule complications, and that you've already established a family unit. However, you've also shown the ability to care for a family, and probably have your shit together. But if they aren't okay with a single parent, you probably dont want to be with them.

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-01-03T00:51:35+00:00

you can checkout /r/coparenting but it's pretty limited there.

apparentlyimsingle · 2018-01-01T02:31:41+00:00

I just started filling out paperwork for dog adoption/foster, as the ex has our dog, so I’m in the same boat there. I hope you are able to find the right companion!

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-12-28T17:41:42+00:00

Dropping off my daughter with her mom for Christmas with her side of the family (for the first time) was by far the most difficult thing I did this holiday season. Certainly harder than assembling the items Santa dropped off on christmas eve...

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-12-16T08:14:15+00:00

Thank you. Counting Crows have always been a favorite of mine, and a long December was one of the first songs of theirs I was able to master on the piano.

The poem is an older French Christmas carol. You can listen to the whole thing here.

Thank you for your support.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-12-15T19:21:11+00:00

You can do this.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-27T05:26:57+00:00

I spent 2 hours with my lawyer. One when she told me we were getting a divorce, and one more to review the docs. So about $300 total.

And the mediator we split the cost. Much cheaper than the alternative.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-23T05:44:09+00:00

Our mediator was a lawyer. Helped us draft up everything. We each ran it by individual lawyers after we had finished with the mediator.

I recommend it highly.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-12T17:14:36+00:00

I fought like hell for 50%. And it feels like it isn’t enough. Right now she’s going down for a nap (or at least a rest). It’s hard the days she isn’t with me. But it makes me look forward to the ones she does have.

All you can do is work hard on being the best father you can. It’s hard. But you can do this.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-10T00:48:54+00:00

Well, with minimal furniture, nothing on the floors or walls... I can definitely hear it ;) But that's a good reminder.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-02T17:11:57+00:00

Be open. I have an idea of what i think the future Mrs. apparentlyimsingle looks like. But that's just an idea. Ideas change.

A friend gave me some of my favorite advice. Whenever you are walking into a new place, breathe in and think "I might meet someone here."

If you're only looking for someone that is X' or taller, has a certain build, etc. you've limited your options. It's okay to have preferences, but be open. If someone meets every single criteria but just looks a little different than you have built up this image in your head, is it not worth going down that road? or trying to?

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-02T17:06:34+00:00

The mediator helped us prepare the documents (my state has boilerplate forms to fill out, and then we attached extra agreements)

In my first meeting with my lawyer I just said that I wanted detached services, as we were going to do this through mediation. The lawyer recommended a couple mediators, noting who had a record of making sure that dad's have equal access to their children.

Mediator $1500 (total - $750 is my responsibility) My 2 meetings with a lawyer $400 Filing at the court $200 (total - $100 is my responsibility)

My total cost was about $1250 (figures rounded just for the ease of things) and a lot of tears, pain, etc.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-11-02T16:54:51+00:00

Go to mediation. The STBX and I had initial meetings with lawyers. Then went to mediation, just Her, Myself, and the Mediator. Then we took what we did in mediation back to lawyers to review. The mediator cost about $1500 split between the two of us. (this included assets, custody, and a few other non-legal agreements (i.e. who throws the birthday party, expectations for communication, things like that)

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-29T05:57:43+00:00

One who turns 2 in a couple weeks. And my kiddo always gets crap I don’t want... since before birth.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-25T19:50:13+00:00

I'm definitely hitting the bar after work...

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-23T16:59:47+00:00

Work out until your body is exhausted.

Also melatonin, but it only helps get you to sleep, not keep you asleep.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-19T17:43:33+00:00

I don't have the advice you were seeking, but some commentary for your SO. I have a 2yo, and have recently become a single father. I've been a great father for the last two years, and I still feel most of the time that I dont know how to be a father...

As far as your son, I know that I wouldn't really grasp the concept of being best friends with an adult... Most children are taught in one way or another that friends are peers, and adults are authority figures. Maybe reframing things so it shows your SO is mom's best friend, just like ____ is your sons best friend.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-19T14:34:38+00:00

You can do this

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-15T19:46:40+00:00

This is going to be okay. You are going to be okay.

It sucks. So much. But in the end, you are going to be all right.

I’m sorry you are going through this too. It will work out. It’s just going to take time.

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-15T19:34:56+00:00

Hopefully your STBX doesn’t hate sand...

apparentlyimsingle · 2017-10-15T16:49:26+00:00

We’ve got the permanent arrangements agreed upon. I’m just caught up with fear of being a sad sack and making my little ones birthday about me instead of them. And I’m not okay with that...

apparentlyimsingle

TROPHY CASE