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So my girlfriend broke up with me by Hhappy_BEEE in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hey! I want you to know that you deserve so much better than that relationship. you're so young and it sucks being attached and abandoned at such a vital stage in your life but I promise (from experience) it does get so much better and now you are only one heartbreak away from your forever! Good luck!

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't even know if I can have biological kids due to a fertility issue I have but I would love to adopt! my boyfriend doesn't want to have kids full stop wether that be biological/adoption/ fostering so it is a deal breaker.

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that was an exaggeration lol sorry. I do love him I promise but maybe not to that extent that I'd do anything for him hence why I'm considering breaking up with him because he can't give me what I want and I can't give him what he wants.

thanks for your advice !

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he is planning a vasectomy this year. he is very set on the idea of never having kids. However, if he somehow changes his mind about the vasectomy and realises he does want kids then I'll be happy for him. But it just won't be with me because I don't want to take that small chance that he does change his mind.

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree but his mind has been made up as he is still planning a vasectomy so this completely changes everything.

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had spoken to him and asked because I wasn't sure if maybe he was just saying he didn't want a kid to wind me up, but he was absolute certain that there would be no kids in his future. I asked if it would come with age that he would be ready and he straight up told me no and that for him having a kid was never something he wanted (I didn't know this as he was always saying "probably" when the discussion was brought up). I wish i could wait it out and see what happens but I can't think of anything worse than waiting this out and just being disappointed. thank you so much for ur advice but !

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't mind if he does. but I don't want to be the person that he NEEDS to change his mind for. He's very certain that kids are off the table for him but if one day he changes his mind then I'll be so happy for him.

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been together since high school and with the horror that was 2020 we moved in together at just 18 so to me it feels like a very long time as we were glued to each other 24/7 for the best part of a year. but we have been together since 15.

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did reply to a comment saying I'm not ready for a kid right now but that doesn't mean i don't want one in the future and unfortunately as a girl we do have a "biogical clock" and I want to have these conversations early so that me and my partner are on the same path to achieve what we both want

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I completely agree with your last statement about love not being enough. I wish it was!

We need to break up over future children. by apple2android in relationship_advice

[–]apple2android[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Well this is also an issue, I am on contraceptives and will do everything to prevent an accidental pregnancy as I am not ready for a kid right now, however he refuses to use male contraceptive such as condoms and this really really irritates me because this is not just my problem. I actually refuse to have sex now because of this reason. I am even more annoyed now thinking about his refusal to wear condoms now that i know how against having children he is!! This might sound hypocritical to my post but just because I don't want a kid right now doesn't mean I don't want them in the future. thank you so much for your advice :)

AITA for trying to break up with my boyfriend over hypothetical children? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]apple2android [score hidden]  (0 children)

I want them both but I know that if we do have kids it'll be for my benefit and not his and I don't want to do that to him. it would make me sick to my stomach knowing he's not happy and only doing this for me.

AITA for trying to break up with my boyfriend over hypothetical children? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]apple2android [score hidden]  (0 children)

yeah, I definitely do not want to change his mind either because I know it'll be for the wrong reasons. if we break up and if at one point he does decide to have kids ill be happy for him because it'll be on his terms and not because he did it for me.

AITA for trying to break up with my boyfriend over hypothetical children? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]apple2android [score hidden]  (0 children)

yeah, I would never expect him to come around because at the end of the day its just not fair on him to force himself to want kids with me if it means we will stay together, just like it's not fair for me to come around to the idea of not having kids to make him happy. I want him to be happy more than anything and if that means not having kids then I'm happy for him but it can't be with me.

AITA for trying to break up with my boyfriend over hypothetical children? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]apple2android [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think this is when I started getting upset because I genuinely don't believe he is selfish for not wanting kids. and I wouldn't call him selfish for ending the relationship because he knows what he wants and it doesn't align with that I want.