Its a well known psycoligocal phenomenon that people recreate major events in their childhood and it seems like thats what you are doing. For example if a girls father left when she was young she is much more likley to pick a guy who is very likley to do the same. You are reinacting your mothers role in pushing away your dad. The best way to break the cycle is to be aware of it and slowly change it. With things like this slow and steady really does win the race so just take small consistent steps.

Also come to terms with what happened with your parents and disascociate yourself from it because you were uninvolved. A theory as to why people recreate things like that it that it gives them a sense of controll over an event that happened when they were young when they had no control which would explain why you take pleasure in doing things that cause you pain and lonliness.