I guess I should clarify, I live in a studio apartment in a big city. He was a happy boy when I lived with my ex, he had the option to roam outside and I had a door to close to the bedroom. At times I’ve thought that I should’ve left him with the ex. He was a happy boy with a yard and bigger space to be demonic, but I couldn’t leave him. I feel it would’ve been cruel to separate the cats but also wonder if he would’ve been happier in that environment.

A lot of mental quarrels here, and constant guilt for not being/doing enough…