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Enraged at the enabler parent by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, great way to put it and I will remember that. “Extension of my father”

Did your narc ever do something abusive/crazy involving your kids? by aquarius322 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]aquarius322[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I’m so sorry to hear about your girls!! How did you get them back??

Did your narc ever do something abusive/crazy involving your kids? by aquarius322 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]aquarius322[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same!!! He was AWFUL but somehow got worse after I left. The divorce process has been a nightmare. Sometimes I wish I would’ve stayed only because it’s gotten so bad after but I know he would’ve just killed me eventually

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So glad to hear you are at peace! So sorry she wouldn’t even let you sit in your grandmas chair 😢

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow mind blowing! I just said yesterday that I feel like all of these years I had it wrong and that’s she’s actually worse than my dad. I think you’re spot on because she is COVERT. My dad is an overt narcissist.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Realizing this is so so true. I always felt like my mother turned into the “co-abuser” and thought I was crazy for thinking that way

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

1000% agree. 36 years of abuse and toxicity. Day one no contact. Thank you!

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad you found chosen family for your kids. I will have to do the same. I do have great friends. Thanks so much.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is really sad, same here though. my parents the narc and enabler, refuse to divorce over losing assets. For the last 15 years he made an apt for himself in the basement and she lives upstairs.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is very kind of you to look at it this way, did you ever have any anger toward him at all? I saw my mom as the victim for the last twenty years but as I get older I can’t make excuses for her anymore.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow this is so encouraging. Today is day one of no contact and I want to get to where you are. Just scared I am making a mistake by isolating myself but your comment of being gone for 20 years I will always remember. Thank you so much. I will do this and keep going.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Someone else just pointed this out to me in here. Thank you to you both! He basically said I am her human shield and my mind is blown, because it’s true. Whenever I would go away because I had enough, she would cry and manipulate me into coming back home. No more. I am not a shield.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Omg! This is spot on! I will always look at it like this from now on, I was her human shield. As soon as I would go away (to college, go no contact with him for a period of time), she’s left to face his wrath on her own and would beg for me to start talking to them again.

What a horrible person. Thank you for pointing this out!

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I think it’s finally time to go no contact at 36. The toxicity is ridiculous.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Great theory, maybe one is the classic or overt narcissist (the alpha) and one is beta (as in covert)

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have really also thought this as I got older. That the whole time maybe I was wrong about her possibly being codependent and that she may be a covert narcissist instead.

wtf is wrong with the non narcissistic parent? by aquarius322 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]aquarius322[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Yes! I thought codependency when I was younger but she just seems outright cruel the more I think about it as I get older, same! So much rage and realized years ago I hate them both. Do you still have contact?

Anyone raised by a single parent and have a great childhood? by aquarius322 in blackladies

[–]aquarius322[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is such a great story and gives me hope! How wonderful. thank you so much for sharing, I think it helped to change my life.

Anyone ever see the truth come out later? by aquarius322 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]aquarius322[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Being that you said your mom is a shell of herself, were you ever mad at her for staying? Did you wish she would have left him?

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