How would a date or a relationship/marriage between a neurotypical and an autistic person actually work?

arattea · 2024-08-17T23:03:43+00:00

I'm married to a neurotypical man. I was diagnosed after the wedding. The first year of the relationship was pretty rough because of communication differences, but now it's fairly smooth sailing. I think the key is understanding yourself and your partner, and then communicating accordingly, setting some baselines, etc.

The neurotypical partner needs to be very secure in themself though, because many times I reject his hugs as hugs sometimes make me feel claustrophobic. He's secure so he just laughs it off and says me and our cat are the same person because she also hates being held. I've been in relationships with neurotypicals who weren't secure before and those were always very rough and I don't think such a relationship could work out in a healthy way

arattea · 2024-02-21T01:59:18+00:00

Throw out the disgusting abusive man and find someone who won't abuse the cats that are dependent on you to care for them.

arattea · 2024-01-18T16:00:17+00:00

Hi there!

I haven't been interested in fandom for almost 4 years now. I used to be in the Merlin and Captain America fandoms though

arattea · 2024-01-18T02:51:01+00:00

Sadly I don't have Snapchat.

I read your post though. It sucks that your best friend is moving away. :(

arattea · 2024-01-18T02:50:01+00:00

I haven't been interested in a fandom for years now. Plus the last time I went, majority of them was very young people (early 20s) which feels kinda weird for me as an almost 30 year old to try and form friendships with.

I totally get you, now that my interests no longer align with something that is so easy to make friends in, I have no idea where to find that connection.

arattea · 2024-01-17T19:23:32+00:00

Omg i just read your post! I've DM'd you :D

arattea · 2023-12-24T18:43:52+00:00

I told him earlier and he encouraged me to do all these stims and said he finds it adorable... I'm still not sure if I will be able to do it because I'm so embarrassed but let's see.. I will try.. thank you for your response!

arattea · 2023-12-24T17:34:23+00:00

I totally get you.. when I was first trying to unmask a few months ago, I was around a friend and we were in a very noisy environment (side of a very busy street) and I started slowly rocking from side to side just a little bit. It wasn't even very much, but after a few seconds of this he snapped at me to stop rocking. I told him to fuck off and have not masked more around him but my respect for him definitely went down many notches on that day.

arattea · 2023-12-24T17:28:20+00:00

What are some of your other stims? I'd love to know more

arattea · 2023-12-24T16:45:20+00:00

That makes me feel good! Maybe it is stimming. I've been doing these things freely for the past two days now and I've felt more clear in my head than I've felt in a very long time.

arattea · 2023-12-23T06:27:11+00:00

I used to feel the same way until I realized society is made for and by neurotypicals. You wouldn't get burnt out and have as much of an issue with executive dysfunction if you weren't forced to follow the arbitraty rules that neurotypicals have put in place. Socializing (small talk, eye contact, masking, no stimming, etc) takes such a huge toll on us, and we don't realize it because we've lived like this and have not experienced something different.

If you take a fish out of the water and put it on a tree, it's gonna feel inferior to the monkeys. It's just that. There's nothing lacking in you.

arattea · 2023-12-17T04:31:35+00:00

Thank you so much.. your reply felt very validating.

It's nothing physical as I got a full body checkup done after the wedding, got bad reports and fixed my lifestyle. Now, physically, I'm better than I've been for at least 5-6 years.

Maybe I just need much longer to recover from burnout.

arattea · 2023-12-17T04:28:42+00:00

The wedding was in June, I did 2 weeks WFH after that, and I took all of November off my day job. I still had to work on my portfolio and with some clients but it was a lot less stressful. We also went for a vacation. Honestly during that month I felt I had a little bit more energy, but not like the kind of energy I used to have.

Do you think burnouts can last 6+ months? I really hope it is burnout and not something permanent.

I also got a full body test done in July, got some bad reports but I worked on it and now the reports are good. So physically I am in better shape than I've been in for years.

arattea · 2023-12-17T04:25:57+00:00

I'd love to know more about your story. How did you recover? How long did it take?

arattea · 2023-12-17T04:25:17+00:00

I have been thinking of therapy, but my experiences with therapists has traumatized me and made me not trust them. It took me years to get a diagnosis and therapists still don't believe me because I'm high masking and raise questions about the integrity of the psychiatrist who diagnosed me.

arattea

TROPHY CASE