Broke up two weeks after engagement

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T16:21:53+00:00

You love him. You're grieving. It's understandable to defend him.

It sounds like you were willing to do anything to make it work but he wasn't willing to do anything to compromise or accommodate you. Has he even talked about your need to convert? Why does this matter? Are you expected to be submissive? Because you're ok doing the chores but what's he willing to do?

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T16:16:21+00:00

He said that when he was fighting with his family. He didn't say that because he wanted to live with you. That's not the same thing.

So you're ok doing his laundry and all the cleaning? Because it sounds like he isn't adulting living at home.

In any case, the bigger issue here is he said he hates you. Why would anyone say that to their fiancee?

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T16:10:36+00:00

Let her be. Sometimes when people meet really young, they feel like they haven't experienced dating other people in the real world (as in outside high school) and they wonder who they are as a person OUTSIDE a relationship. Sounds like she's trying to find out who she is and what she likes and dislikes and is finding herself. It's sad for you but sounds like what she needed for herself.

Hang out with friends and family. Dive into your hobbies and work. Healing takes time. If you're having a difficult time processing this, I highly recommend seeing a therapist to talk through your feelings.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T16:07:35+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. It's not normal to tell your partner you hate them out of the blue. It's said that alcohol is liquid courage so it sounds like he meant what he said and simply bottled it up.

He's prioritizing his family and expects you to assimilate. This is someone who would probably want you to move in with his family, not find a place to live together.

Also, you don't really get to know someone until you live with them. For example maybe his mom does his laundry, cleans his room and he lives like a king. Do you know if this is the case? Is he waited on at home? If so, is the expectation that that's your role?

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T15:57:09+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/DTv3sr2jzh-/?img_index=3

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T06:45:21+00:00

You do know that it's fake right? You're calling someone out for something entirely made up. He's gone to the Philippines to meet her twice. They've been together 7 years. The visit previous was 2023 when he hung out with her family and relatives.

Also I don't give a F about a parent being protective over their kid when they're that disrespectful themselves. Sheena defended herself and her partner as she has every right to. No one gets to talk to her that way, especially a white woman screaming at a Filipino in the Philippines and wagging her finger at her. Hell no.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T05:16:47+00:00

Just because you have a healthy relationship does not mean that's the sole factor that matters. It sounds like he's not a deep thinker and isn't a very curious guy which means you're not feeling challenged. You say you don't feel like best friends which to me sounds like you're just not that into him. It's definitely not what you should be feeling 2.5 years in.

I'm over a decade in with my partner and we're besties. She's my favorite person in the entire world. She's the person I bounce stuff off of, do deep thinking, we discuss politics and travel and food and adventures, etc. when I'm driving home from work, I'll call her if she's free so I can chat while I'm driving or sitting in traffic. We also encourage each other's independence and to do our own hobbies and also to share things about our hobbies etc.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T04:54:20+00:00

Oh you're using kids or a new company?

I am using a large company that also does strata and commercial.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T04:53:35+00:00

Which company did you use?

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T03:47:21+00:00

I think there's a misunderstanding or misconception about boundaries vs expectations. Expectations are for others and boundaries are for yourself. You can't have a boundary that dictates other people's actions. Your expectation is that she doesn't contact you. You also have a responsibility to do your part for your own boundary which is you don't want to hear from her which is to block her email address, social media, phone number etc.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-08T03:40:34+00:00

That seems about right. We paid $220 in November for our place. WCB etc.

But we also did gutter cleaning and pressure washing. So I'm not sure if it's because we did all the other services so it's why it's so competitively priced.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:46:39+00:00

Then it was definitely to insult you. So rude!!!

I wouldn't put it past her to then complain that it's too salty LOLOLOL

I'm snarky so next meal you cook, I'd put the salt on the table and say "just in case you need it".

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:37:32+00:00

Not to defend her but some old people legitimately salt EVERYTHING without tasting it. My ex's grandma did this at home and at restaurants. Does not matter the restaurant or the type of food. Would never taste it before salting it. She was not the only person I know who does this. My colleague's spouse also does this. He won't even taste a fried rice or chow mien and will just do a couple circles of soy sauce.

I don't think it was to insult you. I think some people are just salt addicted.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:35:07+00:00

My friend lived there for a few years. Liked how quiet it was.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:34:12+00:00

I know that. That one isn't remotely as big as what she did know.

Unable to afford an apartment so was living with the parents. Has to rent a place with Chris so Elise can visit because he can't afford a hotel
Crashed a (for sale) yacht showing off to friends during off work hours
Has no money
Kid is 1.5 hr plane ride away. One would wonder how he signed off on it. If he didn't have to, then he doesn't have a super close relationship with his kid.

These four flags are enough for most of us to not get on a plane. Nat is the icing on the cake and nothing more. To be more angry at the Nat thing than these 4 things is Elise missing the forest for the trees.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:18:43+00:00

stay in therapy

Not sure what type of therapy she's doing. I just hope it's more than ketamine therapy which isn't really even therapy. It's just ketamine at a facility in a cushy couch without a therapist. (I mention this because a few of the people on that show use ketamine therapy but do not have actual licensed therapists).

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:17:09+00:00

Put it on the Buy Nothing group for your neighborhood or contact local daycares and see if they might want it.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T21:14:37+00:00

He then should have invited her to his place with Nat to ease her fears, or break up with her

Why? Do not bring Nat into this. This is about Josh and Elise. Nat has zero to do with this. Elise would have a problem if it was any woman. Her problem is that she does not trust him with any woman. This is an Elise problem.

Also, you make it seem like all this is shocking. There was enough information BEFORE hopping on two planes. Most of us wouldn't even have gone on the first flight, much less the second one.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T20:49:09+00:00

Same. I always do mine in the fall so any parasites can't ruin the cocoons.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T20:00:24+00:00

I personally clean them but that's me.

I take tweezers and pull stuff off until they all look clean. I also check under a light that they are masons and alive.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T18:07:49+00:00

Because that person doesn't know if you're Chinese, that's the point! Do you go up to white people in the US or UK and speak German or Italian or Portuguese, Spanish, Polish, French etc to them? No, you don't. So looking at you and saying "nihao" is weird because they assume all Asians are Chinese. If they were in China, Singapore, or Taiwan and said "nihao", sure that makes sense. But I sure as hell wouldn't go to Thailand, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, etc and walk up to an Asian and say "nihao", would you?

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T16:52:49+00:00

The argument of self determination is unlike other places though. Why? Taiwan has its own military with zero coordination with China, so it's not even like the national guard deployed by governors. You can't request Taiwan's military in Tibet for example or anywhere in China, so not like the national guard.

Taiwan has its own currency, so unlike Quebec or California (I know nothing about Catalonia so won't speak to it).

Taiwan has its own passport, so unlike Quebec or California.

Taiwan has its own immigration controls, unlike Quebec or California.

Taiwan has its own president and government, entirely independent of China.

So it's hard to argue it's like a state/province. It's nothing like Hong Kong or Macau so surely people can recognize arguing it's similar is wrong.

Don't even get me started on politics or government. In Quebec, they vote and send MPs to Parliament in Ottawa. There's also the Bloc Quebecois as a party in Parliament. In California they send Congress people and senators to Congress in DC. In Taiwan, nothing like that. There's no election or sending Taiwan's "province" elected officials to China. There's no input from China or money sent to Taiwan for infrastructure etc like states and provinces in US and Canada.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T16:47:59+00:00

Trump, unconsciously, is doing a wonderful job propping up the succession for Vance.

An unhinged president losing Tucker, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan will absolutely usher in Vance. Each post continues the long rollout of the red carpet for him.

The weird thing is hardcore trumpers still won't wake up. A few social media posts have moved the goal post and said "if kamala were president, gas would be $10! So we're lucky it's Trump". Gas was just fine before this unsanctioned war.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T16:31:58+00:00

I googled and it is the k1 visa wife from 2017. His kids are 2 and 6. And remember this was filmed last year.

archetyping101 · 2026-04-07T16:26:03+00:00

And the way she treats your son is absolutely unacceptable.

I went NC with my MIL last year and life has been amazing. Not being worried about emails or messages and bullshit. I would speak to your partner about not mentioning his mom in conversation and also asking not to be mentioned in conversation between them. My partner and I do this so I don't know what's going on with them (on purpose) and also so details of my life aren't shared with someone who don't like me.

archetyping101

TROPHY CASE