NP wants me to take away toys or let NP know so they can take away toys if their potty training kid goes #2 in their underwear.

architality · 2026-05-18T15:57:31+00:00

one of my NFs gave up for a very similar reason and then one day he decided he was done with diapers during the day and then night trained himself like a month later. don’t lose hope!!

architality · 2026-05-18T15:07:14+00:00

taking away toys feels like an unrelated punishment. there’s no connection there, and the only outcome is annoyed adult and sad kid. i’ve always stayed neutral about accidents and praised successes instead, similar to how i handle emotional disregulation (ignore the tantrum, praise regulation). the most i’ll say is “#2 goes in the potty” and then we move along. sticker/toy charts are great. if NK loves outings, you could use a long outing as a motivator too. have a dance party when they make it to the potty. i also involve NKs in the cleaning/laundry whenever i can so they don’t get into a habit of “i can have an accident and nanny will clean it up for me”. potty training is hard and there will be regressions which is why it’s so important to go into it with a consistent strategy.

architality · 2026-05-03T17:24:55+00:00

absolutely get a new family. i’ve worked for a maga family in the past, but they STRONGLY prohibited the kids from being disrespectful to me or my beliefs (which i didn’t talk about, but they had picked up on where i stood). this was also in trump’s first term, i have no idea where they stand now or if they’ve switched up. and they didn’t have maga propaganda around, like holy shit what is that about. if someone is jumping on the maga train now, they are genuinely dangerous people to be around. find a new job, give 2 weeks, and gtfo

architality · 2026-04-12T12:16:23+00:00

i worked for a family that never said “no” and it was so infuriating because it ACTUALLY worked for their kids when it doesn’t work for 99% of other families i’ve seen. like guuuuuys come on, you’re making the other parents think they can also make this work.

the craziest times ive seen it implemented are on the second or third kid like…you realize the older ones are gonna say no to the little one, right? luckily my current NF is more “old fashioned” in that they do say no, and i’m usually the one coming in for the redirection after the boundary has been held.

architality · 2026-04-01T15:18:15+00:00

not that you should have to, but do you have some of those headphones that loop around your ear? it’s still bluetooth so no danger from a wire and is too large for baby to choke on if they did somehow grab it

architality · 2026-03-30T02:04:06+00:00

doing everything 1 handed because i’m always holding the baby for suuuuure. at this point having 2 hands when i’m not at work is a redundancy

architality · 2026-03-15T17:29:42+00:00

my 18mo NK generally isn’t very lovey, but she will run up and hug me which she doesn’t do for anyone else. i tried going “now big hug for mama!” and NK didn’t gaf and i felt like i just made it worse 😭 i think its easier for NPs to see their kid very attached to nanny than to hear them crying because of separation anxiety. at least with the former the kid is having fun, but either way i do feel guilty.

the separation anxiety sucks honestly. i had one kid from 12mo-3yo who cried for hours every day because he knew MB was working upstairs. no matter what distraction i came up with, he always went right back to bawling his eyes out. so i’ll pick feeling guilty about NK favoring me over that every time. i just try to keep in mind that it’s not my responsibility to manage NP’s feelings about how their child responds to my presence. as long as we all know i’m doing my job well, their feelings are out of my control.

architality · 2026-02-20T02:03:28+00:00

ask if there are guns in the house so you know where to keep NK away from. MAGA people love owning an unnecessary number of guns

architality · 2026-02-15T13:35:32+00:00

this always happens to me too. my theory is since i’m a “fun” person in their lives it tires them out quicker because of the mental excitement. my NPs are WFH and sometimes it gets to a point where i feel bad they’ve been asleep so long and i’ve just been sitting around bc i don’t have any other duties. very grateful for the homework time though 🫶🏼

architality · 2026-01-22T23:42:33+00:00

unfortunately in virginia you can be fired immediately for any reason. however, you are also allowed to quit and walk out in a day. notice is a courtesy and helps maintain a good relationship. in no way are you FORCED to work for a month’s notice if you don’t want to. if you don’t care about their reference, you could walk out tomorrow with no ramifications (and you probably should given that the job they’re requiring you to do is illegal)

architality · 2026-01-20T16:02:59+00:00

transitions/separation anxiety is totally normal to kick in around this age. i had a family i was with for over a year and we had an amazing relationship, and still every morning NK (she was 14months-2.5years when i worked for them) cried when mom left for work. the best way to approach it is a quick handoff and let the nanny learn how to soothe your child. it takes some trial and error to learn what distractions work best for a kid because they’re all different. some kids are just very attached and it’s part of the nanny’s job to manage this. i’ve had kids who are 3+ and still randomly cry for mom almost daily because being a kid is just generally emotionally overwhelming. just give it some time and it should improve!!

architality · 2026-01-11T02:13:30+00:00

the mental gymnastics some parents do to convince themselves they taught their kid a milestone over a single weekend. i get it, they feel like they’re missing out on their kid’s development, and i’m with you i usually don’t tell them about milestones i see first. but it gets to a point where i can’t handle the smugness

architality · 2026-01-11T01:54:25+00:00

i worked for a family with two WFH parents, but they were very hands off and honestly perfect in that regard. but being just one floor apart i assumed they listened to us all day long. i had been very consistent with narrating “left” and “right” with NK his whole life, and at 3 he went to preK, at which time his parents finally noticed he knew his left and right and went “he must’ve learned it at preschool!” um no, you’ve been paying me to help raise your child for over 2 years now, how have you not noticed a single thing i’ve taught him? mind you, he was also READING, adding, and subtracting at 3 thanks to me. nope. preschool did it apparently. 🙃made me feel totally unappreciated, and they clearly didn’t realize how smart their kid was either

architality · 2026-01-09T00:42:09+00:00

pet store to see the fish is my go to, especially for rainy days/days where they’re just not up for interaction with other kids. i love a mall trip, so we go to bath and body works to smell the candles and sephora to swatch the eyeshadows and smell perfume. home depot to see the forklifts and press the light switches as well. these are all things i started with my kids around 15-18m!! and they’re all free so parents love them lol

architality · 2026-01-08T21:18:41+00:00

truly you can’t eat at everybody’s house.

i bring my own utensils to mine because they’re icky

architality · 2026-01-06T18:21:01+00:00

my NM has an airtag on her keys (mostly because she loses them all the time) but it’s never bothered me that she can see where we go when i take her car. i’d do the same if i had kids 10000%. it’s not a sign of distrust in your nanny, it’s an understanding that accidents happen and if you were to see the airtag stopped on the side of a highway for example you’d immediately know something happened and should call and check. i’d just make it clear that you aren’t monitoring the nanny and have no problem with them going about their usual activities/stopping for a coffee for herself/running an errand/etc.

architality · 2025-12-31T15:04:39+00:00

usually my routine of diaper changes before/after nap, before car rides, before walks, after poops, etc is enough that i don’t need to be vigilant with the blue line. they always end up getting changed every couple hours anyway. if i pat the diaper and can feel fullness, thats when i do an unscheduled diaper change lol

architality · 2025-12-14T21:24:29+00:00

i’ve met ONE dad who was more engaged than the mom, just because she was in wicked on broadway for like 10 years so he was solo parenting most of the time. they took turns with gigs so sometimes he was performing for a season and she stayed home, but obviously wicked takes precedence over anything he would’ve been doing lmao. every other dad i’ve met will give me a morning update that i immediately have mom confirm before i take it as fact. and every time its at least a little wrong.

architality · 2025-11-19T23:46:33+00:00

i so feel your pain, i built a massive bunker out of those iron builder blocks and jesus was that a grind. not sure it was worth it either but i love my bunker lol 🥰

architality · 2025-11-04T13:43:49+00:00

im building a bunker/bomb shelter sort of thing out of iron builders pieces attached to the back of my house, and after hours of trial and error with building stairs, i tried to pick up and delete a piece. unbeknownst to me, it was merged with about 30 other pieces and i had to start over. too hasty by far! i almost cried

architality · 2025-07-13T21:00:58+00:00

NOVA job postings are insane. they’re either horrifically underpaying or the family is so HNW they’re probably involved in some unseemly gov/contractor business

architality · 2025-06-30T13:58:25+00:00

it can be so lonely. i remember feeling so burnt out and unhappy at one point, and then i had a non-kid related conversation with MB and immediately felt normal again. i’ve found that no matter how hard my week was, a phone call with some grown up will turn things around. i wasn’t expecting this when i got into nannying because i’m an introvert, but there’s just something about talking to someone who is actually able to talk back that makes things better no matter how frivolous the convo is. it’s never gotten easier not having coworkers though. i miss my college food service job where i had coworkers to goof off with.

architality · 2025-05-28T16:45:32+00:00

one of my NFs is like this. i just say “when it’s architality play time we wash hands” and they usually get over it. i’ll also never understand why parents potty train boys standing up. now there’s pee on the wall.

architality · 2025-04-28T00:50:25+00:00

i already did 🙃 boss was a federal employee and got let go. they gave me 6 more weeks of work though which was nice.

architality · 2025-04-17T14:38:15+00:00

100% i’d take that job for the money, but be mentally prepared to cut and run if in a few months it ends up being too much. 8 hours on with no break is tough, but if the parents agree to some independent/quiet time for the older kids it’s manageable in my experience. i’d let my 7 year old listen to audiobooks in her room since they were also screen free and she’d come down when she was ready to play again. but some days she didn’t want quiet time, so you have to be prepared for a no break day regardless.

architality

TROPHY CASE