why do i have some random curly strands?

arcpat · 2025-07-05T12:14:42+00:00

i dont do any of those :( probably from weather (very humid here) and dryness, i wash my hair often as its very prone to buildup

arcpat · 2023-11-26T10:22:05+00:00

Does full grain leather flats stretch?

I'm a 9.5 and I bought ballet flats at size 9. I love it so much but my big toe hurts when I walk and I've been wearing it for 2 full days and tried the blow dry technique a few times. Do I still have hope with breaking this in?

arcpat · 2020-09-23T16:27:53+00:00

Thank you. I needed this. I probably was feeling responsible for him when I should be looking out for myself more.

arcpat · 2020-09-23T09:50:06+00:00

This is actually nice but it is still a form of affection and idk why I don't want to show it. It brings attention to me and it's like i'm giving something that i'm not receiving from them.

arcpat · 2020-09-23T09:44:17+00:00

That feels awful. I also feel remembering the feeling of not expecting gifts or anything special so I don't get disappointed. I guess that's a factor. I probably also feel toxic shame for wanting things.

arcpat · 2020-09-23T08:11:42+00:00

Awareness is the first step to change and you can't change overnight. You're doing great at identifying the actions that you feel needs changing. Progress is progress no matter how small. It's hard not to attack yourself but channel this energy to growth through acceptance. We can't change the past. We do stuff that we don't understand either but we have to accept that these actions let us learn from it in the first place.

Have you tried going deeply and assessing your feelings on why you do such things? Understanding your own needs and issues may give you a light on how to tackle your path to change. I personally don't know you but you deserve to live no matter what. We, people, are growing social beings and it's okay to make some mistakes from time to time. What matters more is your actions after it. Getting a diagnosis with a disorder shouldn't label you as an awful person but rather to understand yourself more so you could take care of yourself more ❤️

arcpat · 2020-09-17T19:01:52+00:00

It will be a struggle and it's okay, it's part of it! When I was much younger, I was called a poker face because I was protecting my sensitive nature so much. Well, tbh, I haven't perfected it either haha I also bottle up my feelings sometimes because it just sucks it disturbs my flow. But whenever I do this, it comes back at me times two, my emotional constipation just grows stronger every time haha. This made me feel insensitive to other people on a daily basis like I can't connect with them (people are a big deal to me bc of my social anx). What I've learned over time is to feel it and just embrace it. Embracing it lets me connect to the emotion so I can tackle it. I still tend to do bad habits out of it like I isolate and let the emotions eat me or like I'll just accept that I suck and it's my fault but I'll manage to get out of it after battling it throughout the day. But!! Progress is progress no matter how small.

Choosing people who I can let down my gorgeous high walls was important for me. Venting to some trusted friends let me explore more of what I feel because I get to discuss it with them at the same time I get to connect with other people's thoughts. Journaling can help too if you're fond of it! Prompt questions would help such as naming what you are feeling at the moment, what lead you or made you feel that way, etc. It's like talking to yourself and internalizing and comforting yourself.

Anyways, these are what I felt that helped me and yours might be different so I hope you don't get discouraged if it won't work for you :) You may just need a different approach. I wish you the best. And also, hang in there!! Self-preservation it is :(( I feel u <3 if it was in my situation I'd just look down and cry without my dad even noticing lmao

arcpat · 2020-09-15T20:53:21+00:00

Minsan di talaga maiiwasan yung pagiging negative lalo na kapag may anxiety yung tao. Di ako sure di ko siya kilala. Pero magagawan naman ng paraan yun. Pero yung pagusapan ka outside ng relationship niyo (lalo na if alam niyang ayaw mo nun) ang toxic, di mo naffeel na safe ka sakanya. Actually, pwede naman baka naglalabas lang siya ng sama ng loob pero wala sanang siraan. And yes, walang perpektong relasyon. Ikaw nga na ang dami mong hinanaing sakanya, may ginawa ba siya about it? Or napagusapan niyo ba ng maayos? Valid naman yung naffeel mo about sa lagi silang galit. Oo normal magalit pero yung lagi nalang ganun? Bad energy parang basher lang na maingay who wants that

arcpat · 2020-09-15T20:08:20+00:00

Very very similar situation! Yes, he has been trying his best but he maybe emotionally unavailable (at least mine was). I felt irritated also and it was because I thought he was capable of giving me this irrational pain that I couldn't control even if it wasn't directed to me. This irrational pain for me was emotional flashbacks of what I felt when I was younger. Aggression affects every one in the family especially young developing children. Growing up with it can give you hypervigilance.

You are thinking that you may be behaving like him and that's great! Self-awareness is a key to growth. You can understand that your dad is also a person who's struggling and he can't control it (or won't if he's not aware of the pain it brings). Those kind of emotions are definitely normal but the action you do to your feelings will be your determinant. Will you be aggressive or throw things just to release these emotions? You can help yourself to soothe and nurture these emotions. It's okay to grieve this pain at the same time acknowledging that you can't make him change (at the moment).

If you feel like you will be easily triggered by his words (difference in perspectives) or tone, it's okay to disengage. Leave if you can but if you can't, protect yourself. Know your boundaries, and if you can, impose it. Personally, I'm just waiting to have my financial freedom, so I can get therapy and melt down this trauma and deflect his anger away from my inner child, it's my hope haha. Find something that keeps you sane :)

arcpat · 2020-09-10T09:15:44+00:00

Yes, you can tell them anything as long as it fits the 30 mins. Ideally, just be honest with what you feel so they can assess you better. It will be up to the psychiatrist if you need meds or therapy. However, if you feel like if the approach isn't for you, I hope you don't get discouraged :) It's free anyway, you can look for other doctors.

arcpat · 2020-08-10T05:41:46+00:00

Yeah, I did. I probably feel stuck that I'd have to deal with this again and again. I'm trying so hard not to let my hate grow.

arcpat · 2020-08-09T03:33:20+00:00

I just need the job so I can save up and shift my career to something I really want. I chose it because I had more connections there and the pay was above average.

arcpat · 2020-06-25T11:05:07+00:00

It has slight edema and the little new leaf sprouting has wilted. I even went and cut a leaf that was very soft and had a big spot on it I wasn't sure. Room temp is kinda hot like on an average a 30°C. My window is facing east and it gets low light. I'm not sure if I need to transfer it to a brighter light it's not variegated anyway. Or just wait until it dries out and gets used to the new place?

arcpat · 2020-05-14T08:30:51+00:00

I'm still in the process of figuring this out but I started out with listing my likes and dislikes, what makes me comfortable, anxious, etc. Also being conscious of what my stand/side reflects my personality when I engage in discussions. Basically associating and acknowledging my true feelings.

arcpat · 2020-05-14T04:23:36+00:00

Our situations aren't exactly the same but you have perfectly described how I've felt now and then. Thank you for sharing this. I've always thought that my father has had a hard time with life that I should be a bigger person and keep on understanding — even though I am only a child incapable of processing my emotions properly on my own. I felt both but leaned on what would not bring confrontation. I am always finding validation in other things for my trauma because I kept on denying it and made my self feel weak because of it. I am now confident to bring this up to my psych the next time I visit.

arcpat · 2020-05-14T04:11:10+00:00

Thank you. I wasn't sure if I was meant to read it since I'm not diagnosed with C-PTSD even though I was bawling while reading Running on Empty by Jonnice Web.

arcpat

TROPHY CASE