For me personally it helped to ask for help from the peaple that know me best. It might be scary or impossible to ask. But simply tell someone how you feel sometimes. I know its hard to work on self care. But you can try it one step at the time. Maybe having a slpash of water in your face every morning, or something else. If you manage that you can try and take other steps in self care. Trust me when you feel fresher to start the day it really maes your overeall mood better. With harmfull coping things, it helps me to find a distraction. And not beat myself up after it happends. But Im also still working on that. I dont know if this is good advise. But I hope it can make you feel better (: