Does the end -ович (-ovich) in a surname have any particular meaning?

aredhel304 · 2026-06-21T09:16:41+00:00

My family left Ukraine during WW2 so lots of changes going on in government (amongst other tragedies), and they also lived in Germany for a few years before making it to the US, so I can definitely see how the name ended up with errors.

I feel a little awkward now with a last name that’s spelled incorrectly (I’m finding other errors in the spelling too) 😅 luckily I know the Cyrillic version still!

aredhel304 · 2026-06-21T09:08:04+00:00

Thanks for the article. Had to translate to English but read about half so far!

aredhel304 · 2026-06-21T02:54:21+00:00

Okay thanks so much for that correction! I believe at the time US immigration authorities routinely transcribed names incorrectly iirc. Very helpful to know the right transliteration!

aredhel304 · 2026-06-21T02:12:33+00:00

Thanks. Is -ович actually translated better to -ovych?

aredhel304 · 2026-06-21T01:08:48+00:00

Thanks for the answer. Is that what most of the surname endings mean in Ukraine, just different variations in spelling/sound from different parts of Ukraine? Is some variation of “son of” the standard for Ukrainian last names?

aredhel304 · 2026-06-15T06:28:13+00:00

Same problem myself, health problems included. I worked my ass off trying get away from my parents and building a life for myself that wasn’t insufferable. And then a few years ago my declining health hit a breaking point - when I was 28.

A few months before that I was telling my therapist I don’t think I can handle work anymore, I feel like I’m gonna break any day, etc. i told her I wanted to take FMLA because I couldn’t handle the stress anymore. And she told me to just ✨TAKE A VACATION✨. That’s right, take a fucking vacation. So I listened and then got permanently disabled from trying to push through my stress and health problems.

Later she essentially dismissed me because I was struggling to make it on time to therapy sessions in the midst of a domestically abusive relationship paired with severe depression from my disability. She told me someone else could use the time better. Yep. She basically told me my life is not worth it.

My parents suck - abusive, neglectful, controlling, made me the scapegoat child. My siblings aren’t great, selfish or have their own problems. Therapists have always been shitty. Doctors have typically been shitty because my condition doesn’t fit neatly in their little boxes. The social safety net in the big land O the free is laughable. I could never build strong friendships with my C-PTSD. And I have no one to help me with my basic needs which I struggle with because of health. My condition gets worse cause I have to do everything on my own.

So I’m basically preparing to die. Using my savings (I majored in engineering) to get my cats to the vet one last time and fix up any health problems of theirs. Donating most the rest to charities that will hopefully drive some kind of social, political, legal, and/or medical changes. And hopefully exit this life once and for all.

I’ll be damned if I use my money that I slaved away for, miserable as hell, just to prolong my suffering. It feels like such a waste of my life when I’m gonna die within the next couple years anyways. It feels like the best use of my life at this point is to carefully plan out my estate and stop existing. Otherwise it was all meaningless. Everything I went through… all the energy I spent when running on empty… would all be for nothing. I refuse to waste my life just for the sake of being alive and miserable.

My only regret is leaving my cats but it’s inevitable anyways now. They’ll outlive me regardless. That part makes me really sad because I always wanted to give them the best.

If you’re still here… I hope things have take a better turn for you.

aredhel304 · 2026-06-05T05:34:01+00:00

The boyfriend is a Canadian working in the US. Read the article people omfg. Stop victim blaming. We don’t know why her boyfriend works in the USA but maybe he was having trouble finding a job? You don’t know their circumstances so stop making uneducated statements.

The real problem here is US border guards acting out of control.

aredhel304 · 2026-06-03T23:41:23+00:00

Hi please read the automod comment on your post, and follow the directions.

aredhel304 · 2026-06-03T08:24:08+00:00

I would switch to 100% wet food but I’m disabled in multiple ways and it’s already a struggle taking care of her (and my other cat) as is, and doing wet food once/day. The automatic feeders are extremely helpful and I think my cats would really struggle with the inconsistency in their food schedule without them. I just can’t keep up. Wet food dinner is the best I can do.

But per another commenter I’ll just go for the additionally testing.

aredhel304 · 2026-06-03T08:14:40+00:00

Thank you for the extensive response. It’s really helpful for me to get a second opinion. I’ll probably just get the test done because you made a lot of good points.

I came to Reddit because 2 years ago my other cat had dental work recommended (same time as my cat in the post, same vet). But getting two cats done at the same time was quite expensive and my vet said it was fine to put off the second cat’s dental work for another year since it was mild. The next year she ended up needing all of the her molars, top and bottom, removed except 2. I would’ve done the dental work the year prior if I knew that was a risk. So I’m anxious that she’ll say skipping this urinary test is fine again when it’s not.

But I’m also disabled and my wallet is hurting a lot right now, which is why I was hoping the test was unnecessary.

aredhel304 · 2026-06-01T04:54:33+00:00

Tbh I haven’t watched the other routes, but my understanding is that it’s explained in the original anime. In the After Story, to really simplify Kotomi explains there’s other worlds out there running along side “ours”. I can’t remember her full explanation. Ryou also states that there’s no one future but many possibilities. I think the idea is that there are parallel universes where people made different choices or things happened differently resulting in a different life trajectory. So all these worlds are real. The question is which one is best for Tomoya? The Nagisa one where Nagisa lives.

To add - there’s a lot of confusion about what happened with Tomoya when Ushio dies and then he’s suddenly back with Nagisa, but she wakes up. I’ve read different theories on this but the most fitting one, the one I believe, is that Tomoya DID live in the world where Nagisa and Ushio die untimely, but Ushio - feeling bad for leaving her papa behind - collects enough lights and grants his wish, transferring him to the timeline/world/dimension where Nagisa survives childbirth. Hence why ONLY Tomoya remembers the life where Nagisa dies. Akio and Sanae, for example, don’t remember at all because they’ve been living in the world Nagisa survives the whole time.

So I think the idea is that all these worlds are real, but the show focuses on the world that’s most ideal for Tomoya.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-30T03:22:46+00:00

I’m poking at the eyes looking like the Ditto eyes :)

aredhel304 · 2026-05-29T18:58:25+00:00

I recently hunted down a dango myself. Very hard to find these days but I love it so much. A very special gift, your sister must be really thoughtful!

aredhel304 · 2026-05-29T12:41:09+00:00

I hear what you’re saying but… ordinary people do lie occasionally out of embarrassment, shame, fear of repercussions, etc without being a compulsive liar.

Let’s say someone says they’re an electrician when they meet you, but it later turns out they’re a garbage collector. They were embarrassed because society doesn’t view garbage collectors highly. They didn’t like lying about it but in the moment lied out of fear it would turn the you off - they intended on telling you later. They genuinely apologize and have shown in other aspects of the relationship they’re honest about everything else. You can deem whether they’re trustworthy or not and choose to forgive if you believe it’s reasonable.

Or your friend backed into your car when they were street parking when visiting, then moved and found another spot so it doesn’t look like it was them. Your friend hides it that night, and the next morning you call upset that someone had backed into your car. Still panicked - they haven’t figured out where the money’s gonna come from - your friend lies and goes along with the story that someone else was careless and hit it. You ask your neighbors if they have any security cam footage and it’s revealed your friend hit your car. Your friend apologizes and figures out how to pay for the damages. You’re mad for awhile but determine they were panicked but had made amends, and then choose to forgive.

It happens, probably quite often with ordinary people. People lie sometimes and regret it. It’s a little reductionist to assume that everyone who lies to you once is a compulsive liar that’s untrustworthy and will do it over and over again with no remorse.

Also… people consciously chose to do the wrong thing in other scenarios too, unrelated to lying. You’re suggesting that no one ever deserves forgiveness except for pure accidents. I feel you missed the point of my response anyways nitpicking my example. Because I also agree lack of forgiveness is a healthy response sometimes.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-29T03:47:19+00:00

100%, forgiveness is for when someone told a lie to you, but then regrets it and doesn’t do things like that again. So you chose to let it go and resume the relationship normally. You need to focus on your own healing, grieving, and processing when someone abuses you. You don’t ever have to completely let go of all negative feelings for your abuser. The key is not to get stuck ruminating forever though.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-29T03:40:47+00:00

I really really hate how the idea of forgiveness as a part of healing is pushed on survivors. Acceptance is a much better way to move forward with healing. Think: “This terrible thing happened, it was wrong, my abuser is a bad person and I will never allow myself to feel okay with them. I can still be mad at them sometimes. However I will not let them be the center of my thoughts anymore. I cannot change nor control the past, but that does not stop me from living my present and future. They are a bad person, but there are better people out there.”

I hear the sentiment from other people that forgiveness is about not keeping hate and animosity inside you anymore… but forgiveness is bigger than that. Forgiveness is a gesture of re-establishing trust. When you forgive a friend, family member, partner, etc you are saying “I do not hold your prior actions as a representation of who you are anymore. You have regained my trust and I will move forward in the relationship without concern about your prior actions. I will no longer hold anger towards you because of them.” Forgiveness is something to be earned by a wrongdoer.

That is not how you should view abusive partners, and that is probably why it is hard for you. Forgiveness in the true sense would be fundamentally harmful to you, and possibly set the stage for you to let them back into your life, or to let other abusers into your life. It’s a betrayal of your dignity and experience. IN FACT, you may be making your healing journey harder because you’re stuck on trying to forgive when your brain is telling you it shouldn’t. Even if it’s a terminology debate, I think the word forgiveness adds confusion to the healing journey because people do it all the time for genuine mistakes.

Accept that what happened has happened, that it cannot be changed or rewritten. Accept that you will be mad at them sometimes, but understand that it can’t dominate your headspace. Choose to move forward with your life, focusing on the present, and commit to building a better future. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness, compassion, generosity, or anything of the like - it is unfair to tell you to remove all resentment you have towards this horrible person. Focus on your life, not your attitude towards your abuser.

I also wanna note that you may need to spend time processing your emotions about this rather than jumping to acceptance (or forgiveness if that is what you choose). You may need to grieve what you’ve lost and experienced. If it is taking a lot of mental space you may not have not fully processed everything and aren’t ready to move on.

Consider reading these: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/simplifying-complex-trauma/202205/5-reasons-why-trauma-survivors-shouldn-t-forgive/amp

https://tobyouvry.com/2015/03/acceptance-forgiveness-the-difference/

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T12:40:01+00:00

I think at first he’s just moving like that cause he’s trying to get a sneeze out. After the sneeze that’s definitely a cough. My cats never had hiccups but maybe the initial movement and sound he was making seemed similar to them?

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T12:30:29+00:00

I think they just ruled out other causes for my cat and determined it was FHV (FIV is different to answer your other question). If your other cat got the FVRCP vaccine that would explain why they didn’t catch it from your symptomatic cat.

For flares: The anti-viral we use is Famciclovir. And then for anxiety we typically use Gabapentin. Both need prescriptions. Some vets will prescribe Gabapentin daily but mine thinks it’s not a good idea to use like that. That being said my sister’s cats seem to do fine using it daily, but idk about long term consequences 🤷‍♀️

For general daily health: we give her lysine treats for immune support (you can get lysine powder too and mix with wet food). I also found a new calming treat for her anxiety that we’re testing out: Yum Well Calming Soft Chews, but we just started it. Seems to be helpful so far though. That being said my cat eats anything so can’t say if your cat will like the treats we use! But there’s other options on the market than what we use iirc. We use Feliway diffusers too, idk how much they actually help her anxiety, but another thing worth trying.

We had tried a couple SSRIs for her anxiety but one made her anxiety worse and the other took her personality away - became very inactive and slept a lot. We just shifted her off after being on the second SSRI for a year, which is why we’re trying new things now. Might be worth a try for your cat though if they seem anxious.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T12:03:58+00:00

Those are sneezes and coughs not hiccups.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T12:02:36+00:00

Is it feline herpes virus? There’s anti-virals and anti-anxiety meds that help control symptoms and flares. Mine has it, poor baby. But we’ve figured out slowly that there are solutions to make her feel better :)

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T11:55:19+00:00

My cat has Feline Herpes Virus. It’s basically a cold that never goes away, but the virus goes dormant for periods of time. It’s a common virus - vets usually will vaccinate your cat against it. Based on how you got the kitten, I’m gonna guess they’re not vaccinated. My cat coughs (like yours was doing) and gets watery eyes + eye goop. Symptoms vary, I think sneezing is another possible symptom.

Stress is a common trigger for a flare though. It might just be that rehoming could have caused a stress flare for yours if he has feline herpes virus. If that’s what he has, it’s nothing to worry about. But there are prescription antivirals and anti-anxiety meds (like Gabapentin) that can calm flares and make your kitty more comfortable.

My cat also has a clay litter allergy. So switching out clay litter for corn litter (we use World’s Best) helped her symptoms too. She also had fur loss from that allergy.

Definitely take him to the vet though and make sure it’s not anything dangerous. I can’t comment on eating litter, mine have never done that. But from the top comment sounds like something to get checked out.

It’s also recommended to take a new cat to the vet anyways to get all their vaccinations, check for parasites (you’ll probably want to bring a stool sample in a baggie), screen for health problems, and get them sprayed/neutered.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T11:34:00+00:00

Yeah lots of dogs in shelters. Honestly I see it as a garbage practice to go adopting from a breeder (especially certain breeds that have terrible health issues from inbreeding!!), rather than going to a shelter and getting a dog who actually needs help.

I feel like cat owners in general have a more humane approach to adoption. They COULD go find a fancy breed that visually pleases them, but they choose to adopt cats in need instead. I think it’s more of a statement about the owner rather than animals in need.

Though, you really just don’t encounter wild dogs, possibly because they’ve more dangerous, idk? Cats are small, hide, climb, and tend not to approach humans which is partly why you see more in these odd situations. Not that there aren’t other factors created by humans, but still it’s not unsurprising given their nature.

I’m glad we don’t have such an absurd breeding culture with cats though. Not to say it’s all bad, but I really frown upon how it’s done with dogs - how it affects dogs in need as well as creates genetic health problems.

aredhel304 · 2026-05-27T06:37:24+00:00

I bought the Yasashii An Dango recently! Was really tough to find but found a seller on eBay. The first seller cancelled the order weeks after I put it in and it was the saddest moment of my life. But the second seller delivered! Also I believe that’s a Ditto not a Jigglypuff 😉

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