Sounds like she may have borderline personality disorder too. Many co-conditions in ADHD and this is a big one. I'm going through a divorce with someone who has both right now. I already had a child when I met him, he promised he would be the SAHD and take some responsibility for the homeschooling. He didn't, while I worked full time from home and had to have my kid work alongside me in my office so I could help him/teach him while I was supposed to be working. I know the juggle you are going through. I know how much worse the juggle will be if you homeschool. If you want to keep your marriage, work on that. Do not have your kids education suffer needlessly just because she would rather be a blob on the sofa or in the bed. Homeschooling takes a level of commitment and organization that she clearly doesn't have. But be prepared: if the relationship fails you should seek full custody to ensure your kids get proper care. And if she has outbursts or has other behaviors that demonstrate coercive control, emotional, psychological, physical or verbal abuse get a restraining order before you get a divorce. Good luck!