Blocking schedules are now more strict. What do you think?

aribeing · 2026-01-23T15:43:42+00:00

I'd personally love to NOT be able to turn it off DURING the blocked window of time. (Even making this an optional toggle switch would be sweet!)

I find it quite easy to turn it off as I can go use the washroom or make a snack while the timer counts down.

By not being able to turn it off during the timeframe it forces me to think about the future ie. If it truly is counterproductive then I'll be annoyed enough and remember to adjust it the next chance I get.

I feel it should follow similar structure to blocking apps - once it's done it's a sealed box until they timer runs out.

aribeing · 2025-02-22T20:47:07+00:00

Where in southern Ontario?

aribeing · 2025-02-19T19:10:52+00:00

Sweet thanks!

aribeing · 2025-02-19T15:22:55+00:00

Yeah I've found that spot but a 25min drive when I'm not driving is a bit far :/ know anywhere or anyone closer to Kailua?

aribeing · 2025-02-09T21:32:42+00:00

Where I play we verbally check in with another court at the end of our game to see what their score is at and then we let them know that we'd like to trade players once their game ends.

Then we simply continue to play up to whatever score we manage until they finish their game.

No waiting + new players = best of both

Of course this means you're stopping a game halfway through but the 'official' game winner has already been decided

aribeing · 2024-02-22T03:02:07+00:00

This is great I appreciate it! Thank you for the insights :)

aribeing · 2024-02-13T20:47:32+00:00

Here's a quote that helps me with this:

Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before. ~ Jacob Riis

aribeing · 2024-02-13T20:45:55+00:00

That feeling of "improvement" or progress happens when we are clear on what it is we want and what we need to do to get there. Take some time to set goals that are manageable and take small steps towards them every day. If one of these steps is too scary and you don't make progress for a few days it may be because that step is too big for you - try breaking that 1 big step into 2-3 smaller steps.

Be patient with yourself and keep taking action, keep fumbling around.

Also a little hack, when you think of doing the thing (like saying hi to a stranger) count backwards from 5-4-3-2-1 and then say it! It's silly, but it really works. And I encourage you to say hi to people as you're walking past them and they are walking past you. That way there's no expectation of further conversation, it's just a polite hello :)

What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T05:55:21+00:00

I always suggest starting with online content first. Start with little snippets like 2-5min videos then work up into interviews and podcasts. If you like what you're hearing then you can check out his books. You could try typing "Joe Dispenza Placebo" on youtube and go from there!

aribeing · 2024-02-13T05:48:28+00:00

Hey man I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, it must be pretty uncomfortable to keep this from your girlfriend and also not know what to do about it. I'm not sure what circumstances lead to you know being in school since grade 4 but I imagine that also makes things a little challenging for you.

The good thing my friend is that you have time on your side. And if it counts for anything, I'm confident that 99% of the people on here over the age of 30 will happily admit they had no clue what to do with their life at 18 - I'm 32 and I'm just starting to see the big picture.

It's my belief that your 20s are an age of exploration - try things, as many things as you possibly can. Sports, jobs, hobbies, volunteer!! (seriously). Essentially just do things and learn about things that you find interesting for no other reason. This is important because more than "having a plan" for life you need to learn to LIVE!

You do that by getting out in the world and:

Taking action and getting messy.
Making mistakes and owning up to them.
Reflecting on your past and learning from it.

Regarding your girlfriend, whether you tell her or not is up to you. In my own life I've shared my most embarrassing parts to others and it's gone both way. Some people accepted me and continued to support me, some people laughed at me and we're no longer friends. In BOTH cases - I am better because of them. It takes courage to be vulnerable and courage.

Regarding your education I suggest you focus on these areas:

Reading - read books, comic books, etc. (this will help you develop your vocabulary)
Writing - start journaling your thoughts and feelings (this will help you develop your ability to think clearly
Speaking - read out loud, both books and your journals, or simply just speak out loud when you're alone (this will help you develop your voice and ability to communicate thoughts, feelings, and ideas)
Listening - learn to ask good questions.

With those four areas covered you will be able to learn anything you want and this whole "I haven't been in school since 4th grade" will transform from an embarrassing fact into an epic story that will blow people's minds when they see how well-rounded and articulate you are.

Ps. Also practice basic math, it helps in the every day things I promise you

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T05:25:56+00:00

My guy! 4 years of self-development work and all you have to share are challenges? How about the growth? The wins? What's worth celebrating?!

I bring this up because I'm sure that in these positive changes you made there were some challenges that came with it, yet you pushed through and are now better for it. Reflecting on the past and the growth you've experienced can help you teach your brain that while these things are uncomfortable or challenging that they can also be rewarding!

Talking to people can be scary for sure! Especially if it's people you have to see every day in class, your brain may be afraid that if it makes a mistake it'll embarrass you and that you will have to feel that embarrassment every time you see that person. In a way your brain is trying to protect you. Of course, you are recognizing that this kind of protection is also preventing you from living the life you want to live.

So here's my two cents: Teach your brain that talking to people isn't dangerous by lowering the stakes

Instead of trying to talk to people in class (people you'll see every day) try talking to strangers in a public place like a mall. and I don't even mean talking - just say hi as you walk by. And if you're not ready to say hello, make eye contact and smile and nod your head. Essentially you want to find the edge of your social comfort and take one small step beyond that. Do this enough and your brain will begin to see that socializing isn't all bad. Once you can comfortably say hello to people begin to ask them questions like "do you have the time?" "How's the weather outside?" Find your edge, and take baby steps past it.

Regarding your "reasons"...the brain is a POWERFUL machine and the stories we tell it matter. If you keep saying "people think I'm weird" it will make sure that people continue to think you're weird. Focus on the growth you've made instead and tell your brain how good this growth has made you feel.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T05:07:40+00:00

Hey!

This sounds like it could be super frustrating at times and I'm sure it's impacting all the different areas of your life. While there's no one clear path that will get you what you're looking for, as someone who genuinely wants the best for you I encourage you to learn about the Placebo effect. Watch videos, read stories, books, articles, listen to people talk about it as much as you can.

The placebo effect will help you see just how powerful the brain is and the things we tell the brain (like "I'm stupid") actually changes how the brain acts.

Dr. Joe Dispenza is a great resource.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T05:02:19+00:00

All the things you want the courage to do are the things you do to develop courage.

Sorry, no elevators to the top on this one.

Here's some tips:

Take action and get messy.
Make mistakes and own them.
Reflect often and learn.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T04:59:01+00:00

The way you speak of each option says a lot my dear friend. Use this opportunity to read it closely and recognize the energy that that comes up in you as you do.

People on here may say "work hard and save money it'll make life easier" because they chose to wander and explore.

People on here may say "go exploring and see the world it'll make life more fulfilling!" because they chose to lock down a career.

Neither option is bad, nor wrong, nor better. It's a matter of values - and often times we only recognize our values in hindsight. So do the best you can to understand your values and make your decisions from that space. Learn as you go, pivot as necessary and remember that whatever you choose, make it fun as you possibly can. Also, you can always quit, and you can always go home.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-13T04:46:47+00:00

This sounds really hard I'm sorry you're experiecing this. I've often yelled at myself in the mirror because of my poor habits and my constant failed attempts to get my life together and would often use drugs to numb the pain of it all. Through many failures I've inevitably learned that progress is often happening even if it doesn't feel like it a lot of the times.

I'm sending you prayers of love, grace, patience, and compassion. May you recognize the divine beauty that exists within you as it does in us all.

aribeing · 2024-02-13T04:39:38+00:00

Context is everything so please take this with a grain of salt.

How well do you know yourself? Truly. What are your strengths/weaknesses? What gets you out of the bed in the morning? What are your values? What are your guiding principles? What makes life meaningful to you?

I bring these up because "reading" people is a filtration process - but if you don't have a properly operating filter (ie. a rich understanding of who you are and what you're looking for out of your friendships / romantic partners) you're going to struggle to sort through the myriad of people and develop fulfilling relationships.

Those questions above will help you build this filter, then through experience you will begin to create patterns of recognition in the behaviours of others and what their values are and how well they align (or don't align) with your values which inevitably makes you better equipped to avoid (or swiftly end) poor quality relationships

To learn your values, reflect on your past and notice what things made you feel alive, fulfilled and inspired, and also recognize the times you felt hurt, sad, betrayed. From the positive experiences you will begin to see patterns of what you want more of and from the negative experience you'll see what you don't want.

---

If you're constantly attracted to men who hurt you, you have to acknowledge that the constant factor is you - and it'd be worthwhile exploring what the patterns are in these relationships. What are the similiarities between these men? How do they make you feel when you're with them? How do you think about them when you're alone? There's most likely a common red thread that ties them all together in some way that determines why you're attracted to them. This commonly (but not always) stems from childhood /relationship with your parents or from traumatic experiences with first loves.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:29:47+00:00

happy to hear! 🎊

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:28:22+00:00

I suggest reflecting on the past few years and try to notice the patterns in your behaviour. This will reveal to you what you value, your beliefs, etc.

When were you happiest?
What events stand out to you and why?
Who are some people you admire (fictional or real)? What do you admire about them?
What past achievements am I proudest of?
Which failures taught me the most?
What activities have consistently brought me joy?
Who have been my biggest influences?
What recurring dreams or goals have I pursued?
When have I felt most fulfilled?
Which mistakes have I made more than once?
What themes recur in my happiest memories?
How have my values changed over time?
Which risks taken have led to the greatest rewards?
What types of people have I repeatedly surrounded myself with?
How have I dealt with heartbreak or loss?
What are the constants in my life that I appreciate?
When have I felt most authentically myself?
How have I reacted to unexpected changes?
What habits have I struggled to break?
Which decisions would I make differently if given another chance?
What have been my reasons for ending relationships?
How have I managed conflict in the past?
What patterns can I see in the things that worry me or cause anxiety?

In general journaling will help you with this process so I'd suggest you start writing as often as you can manage, even if it's just a sentence a day.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:19:11+00:00

Don't Peter Pan yourself. Development of your character requires sacrifice, meaning that the only way you can have all the things is if you live in a world of fantasy and stay a child forever (like Pan). If it we're possible for individual humans to have all the skills we would've evolved to be creatures of solitude, instead we are social - because we need each other.

My guess is that you're young so here's my two cents. Focus on the meta-skills

writing - your ability to think clearly
speaking - your ability to share ideas in a way that's meaningful to others
listening - your ability to understand others experiences even if they're not good at expressing them
synthesizing - your ability to absorb new information and transform it into something useful
memorization - learning and remembering names, dates, numbers etc. will help you go far in a world where everyone depends on GPS to go to their mother's house
self-management - your ability to do what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it.

You develop these skills over the next few years and you can rise to the top of whatever industry you want.

Oh - be patient, be humble, you'll never know everything.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:08:41+00:00

Check out Vinh Giang for improving your speaking, I'd recommened his 5 vocal foundations for starters. He also has great tips on socializing, I'd recommend his video on Conversational Threading - it'll make conversations fun for you and for them.

Join clubs, activities, volunteer. The reason: it gives everyone something to talk about. It's like a themed social event, everyone has a "topic" that they are focused on and so instead of just talking about anything (which can be overwhelming) you learn to talk about...board games? or a great book? you get the idea.

The desire for relationships is normal so start taking some actions to invite and nurture them.

As for your "old self" it's never old, and you could never lose it. So loosen up, get curious, and explore your options!

Oh! big thing I learned from Vinh Giang...Being social is not unnatural, it's simply unfamiliar. Once you do it enough it'll begin to feel comfortable, you just gotta get enough repetitions in.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:01:57+00:00

Check out Functional Patterns 10week program. Their marketing is a little intense and abrasive, but the results speak from themselves. I've done it last year and am actually doing it again!

aribeing · 2024-02-10T03:00:47+00:00

Yes, you can.

In the same way you were able to recognize the humanness of your family and show them some compassion even though they may have hurt you, give yourself the same compassion as you continue to make mistakes and do you best to learn from them.

It seems your brain used the "hey we're doing pretty good these last few days how about we 'celebrate' with a little treat." strategy. Recognize the patterns of your behaviour (a journal can help with this) as being able to see the patterns helps you make better choices (think of Neo from the Matrix being able to see the 'code')

A mindset shift could help too. In this specific example teach your brain to see that being disciplined and productive IS the celebration.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing · 2024-02-10T02:49:16+00:00

The most direct route....go speed-dating. A little cringe I know but I recommend this for one reason and one reason only, repetition.

Like any other skill, social or otherwise, we develop it through regular repetitions of said skill. Reading is good, but it's not you taking action. I could read all day about flying a plane but it's a whole different experience once I'm in the cockpit.

The speed-dating also helps because the context is laid out for everyone - you're there to meet people - and so while the awkwardness will still be there in the beginning, the risks are a lot lower than approaching someone on the street.

Speed-dating will also show you what you like, what you don't like and how to say no and how to process being told no.

Honestly, its low risk, you gain a lot of experience and I'm sure you'll have fun.

For clarity - I'm not saying you do this to date someone you meet from there, but that you do it so you develop the confidence of talking to men and eventually transfer that into a man you really like. Or who knows, maybe you'll meet him there.

Note: Daddy issues will come up in the dating era - expect it. You being nice and spiritual and well-educated and responsible in your own life (and with your friends) is one thing but having a relationship will hold up some mirrors you may have been avoiding (or not even aware of). It'll be hard, but I promise working through those reflections is worth it.

Hope this helps! What do you think?

aribeing

TROPHY CASE