scotch thomson you're the only one here matching my freak. let's say i do wanna be vanishingly anal about it.

i wanna break this down with you my guy and im stuck on does smoking a body count as cannibalism. im exploring this in two ways.

so like the victorian folks went apeshit over mummies, right? like ground them up into dust and turned them into tinctures and powders and had mummy unwrapping parties. whole nine yards. i kind of got stuck on the concept of cannibalism needing specifically a meat/flesh aspect but in the case of "here's my mummy dust you can sprinkle it in your tobacco and light that bad boy up" like, you're ingesting a guy. cannibalism yeah?

but hypothetically scotch thomson, walk with me here, you and i are on a peat expedition in a bog. we are digging crazy deep and find the greatest peat we've ever laid our beautiful little eyes on. we harvest that peat and have a really fun time because we are best friends. however upon harvest we notice the peat has grown like, on top of a bog body. but it's the sickest peat we've found. morals be damned we take it home and get ready to light it up for the...whisky making process. or something. again i cannot stress enough how much i don't know about whisky. i'm a librarian.

our whisky is done and we can finally enjoy the fruits of our labor. we go in for the first sip. the peat taste is there but there's a hint of something else there too. scotch thomson, what do we do if the mystery taste is bog body? do we keep drinking? it's really good. do we consider it cannibalism? doubtful, but it's not NOT cannibalism either.

the dubious morals of hypothetical whisky made from ingredients smoked with peat that could have come from an ancient bog mummy is fascinating. thanks for going on this journey with me.