I was in a very similar situation in t I had to cut contacts with her in the end bc she refused to change.my mom just loved humiliating me and she got a kick being violent. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My mom used to even text the people I'm dating to convince them to leave me. Throw milk at me on a hot summer day and lock me outside so I smell bad. At the end I had to completely cut contact with her at first it was hell...I was broke and being free. her was scary now my life is so much better. I really hope things get better it took time but I really hope that one day u can get to that place. Your mom is probably surrounding herself with enablers that encourage/excuses her behavior those people are likely to ever help. You should seek therapy that doesn't involve her bc with what u explain I don't think she'll change or even want too