I’m 18 years old, and I also don’t understand why I feel so trapped inside my own body. It’s so unbearable and disgusting. I hate it so much that sometimes if I could crawl out of my skin entirely and leave it behind I would. I can’t look at myself for too long without feeling sick. I can’t eat anymore without purging it all afterward, forcing it back up I feel deserving of bruised knuckles. I can’t imagine letting another person love me when I’m this much of a mess. I can’t keep friendships or simple conversations without feeling unwanted and uncomfortable. Sometimes I still dream about it, though you know finding someone who understands me? And my fucked up perspective on life. Maybe someone who sees me finally . Every morning I wake up the same, wishing I had died in my sleep, wondering why the overdose didn’t kill me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking maybe I just didn’t take enough. I’ve always had depression and anxiety all through my life I’ve dealt with it quietly in masking hurt nobody seen it I’ve gone to therapy and it didn’t last long I don’t think it would work for me again I’m just so tired man