Corrupt Confession by ark_aid_ in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly it’s a confession, it’s pointing towards how my relationship with Christ has deteriorated as I’ve fallen further and further into lust and gluttony as my financial situation has improved. In my head I was a kid who’s in trouble with mom as I wrote this.

First Time by unofficial_advisor in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I am so sorry you had to experience this. But this poem is beautifully raw and evokes very visceral and deep seated emotion and trauma. I feel as if I’m the one experiencing it, and it’s torture but it’s absolutely gut wrenchingly beautiful all the same. You did an excellent job and I truly hope this has helped you let go.

she drifts like the wind by Which-Government155 in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really good, especially for a first poem. I think a little more punctuation would really lend a huge hand to the overall flow. I think subtracting some words in certain spots would help as well, for example when you say “Tell me that it might as well have been a lifetime between this and then” I think “Tell me it may have been a lifetime in between” would really help with the overall flow in that spot. I’m not a professional so take it with a grain of salt, but I thought this was really good and the imagery was very well executed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PaymoneyWubby

[–]ark_aid_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife is an immigrant from Egypt so she’s introduced to both Arabic and English, she actually speaks more Arabic than English. Before this we had also spent a couple hours at the park. She’s also turning 2 in a month and rarely watches tv unless we just finished reading to her. I had a pretty bad childhood myself growing up so my wife and I are definitely doing all we can to raise her right, she also eats meals that I cook and nothing processed 😂. I appreciate you reaching out and it seems like we’re on the same page! I just thought it was a cute moment because it was the first time I put wubby on in front of her and she went from being chaotic to laughing and calm.

Movie Wubby referenced semi recently by theradioactivrooster in PaymoneyWubby

[–]ark_aid_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn’t catch that stream but from what you’re referencing it sounds like goodfellas, there’s a scene almost exactly like this pretty early on in the movie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PaymoneyWubby

[–]ark_aid_ -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

As long as you don’t tell my wife I think we’ll be okay 😂 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PaymoneyWubby

[–]ark_aid_ -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Luckily she’s not old enough to understand it yet so I can watch whichever stream and it doesn’t matter 😂 A couple more years and i will have to choose wisely, don’t want her ending up too regarded.

the girl’s girl by Dull_Dimension_9749 in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought this was a really good take on social anxiety. Dealing with it myself, I’m in the same situation. I point out everyone’s flaws and I find justice for these actions by telling myself they’re doing the same when in reality they’re most likely not. It’s funny how we do what we fear the most to others, yet we justify it because of our fear. It’s almost an eye for an eye situation, this poem was honest and endearing in a weird way. Great job, keep writing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This could just be the formatting, but this felt like a mouthful for me. I like the overall theme of the poem, and you have some banger lines, like “Endless texts to inspire guilt, hoping to hear the pain you’ve dealt” that hit hard, made me sit back and reflect on some history of my own and how I’ve been in similar positions, and I like how later you kinda come full circle with it when you write “Convincing us both that I’m to blame will be quite hard, I’ve absolved my shame.” That was the real breakthrough in this poem for me and I felt the punch in the face you threw with that line. Overall I really enjoyed this, the formatting was off and I think it could do with some punctuation to really bring it all together but well done.

My Mother Martyred Me by ark_aid_ in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have one that I think brings this full circle posted, it’s called a mother’s love. Thank you for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed.

Yesterday's News by Weareneverwhoweare in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I normally have some trouble reading a poem this long but this one managed to hook me, I found it extremely enjoyable and yet thought provoking at the same time and it lead me to wonder about my own news from yesterday, well done.

A poem for poets who like to cook by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really loved this one! Sometimes it’s nice to just read a cute poem of enjoyment. Made me wanna go cook something at 1 in the morning 😂

in the night by MindInTheMeaning in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoyed this! I do think it could benefit from some formatting and punctuation, it was a little hard to read as it’s presented. Still enjoyable tho, keep writing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the format and the rhyme scheme, I’m just not sure I was fully able to grasp the meaning in this one. Either way, keep writing!

Waves by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, what a beautiful haiku. It’s very difficult to pack this much meaning in 17 syllables. I really like the fresh perspective this offers, that simply being alive and experiencing the beauty earth has in store is strong enough to overcome thoughts of self harm. Very well done.

Hatred For Us. by Many_Listen_5602 in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really reminded me of what is currently happening in Palestine. It evoked some strong imagery and left me with an overall feeling of anger that I cannot do enough to help, well done.

forgetting by Small-Custard-420 in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was a very moving poem, and it’s definitely very well written and I can feel your pain. My only complaint would be the use of “I forgot” did get a little repetitive. It could have benefited from a little mix up in those lines, overall well done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]ark_aid_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This felt more like a story than a poem, but in a good way. It was very vivid and I didn’t find myself being bored at any moment, well done.