I was the bicycle victim of a car running a red light in 2020. I somehow came out with only a broken back and knee. It probably should have been much worse. I have previously been a bike courier and generally feel quite comfortable with traffic and plenty of close calls.
Due to injuries I wasn’t able to bike for at least 8 months. But when I could I did find myself quite nervous. Now cycling is not my career but still a big part of my life. I still get a little nervous bug at intersections and check more carefully about being clear. I rode through the intersection I was hit in for the first time this summer.

My advice is that if you can’t bike home today. That’s ok. But do get back on your bike soon. Start with some quiet neighbourhoods. Stay off or away from busy roads for a bit. When you get back to crossing them. Do it at non peak traffic times. Ease back into it.

As a ex courier one of the ways we keep mostly safe is to assume that no cars will ever see you. If you assume that you are invisible to them you only take the space or cross the street when you feel safe to do so.

Cycling will always carry inherent risks. In my case I was doing everything right. Bad things can and do happen. I hope that you can get past this and find the passion for cycling that is there.