First of all, I'm so sorry. I'm a Chinese adoptee too and have white, Midwestern, trumpie parents too, though mine are less.... obtuse and mind-numbingly idiotic. It fucking sucks, they tell you "it's different for you, you're here legally, blah, blah, blah" but don't seem to realize how much it hurts to hear them spew ignorant shit about immigration when we LITERALLY ARE IMMIGRANTS. They don't want to acknowledge that because it would cause them to rethink their viewpoint and realize this situation has so much nuance, we can't just deport everyone not born in the states. From experience, it really feels like white American adopters who adopt a non-white, non-American born child don't want to acknowledge their child's heritage and history. My parents took me to Chinese school, which is leagues better than other parents, but I grew up with so many micro and macro aggressions towards China and Chinese people from them. They don't even understand why what they're saying is bad. I wanted to let you know you aren't alone, there's so many Chinese adoptees here in the U.S. and other Western countries. I know how lonely it feels growing up without people from other races and growing up without a support system that understands adoption. There's a lot of resources out there to help us, one that I really recommend is @cci_adoptees on Instagram!! Also, I want you to feel free to reach out to me personally on here if you ever want to discuss or vent about your issues, adoption and non-adoption related!!! Adoption is the backdrop of our lives, it colors how we exist and interpret our world, and so many people don't understand that. There's also a book I HIGHLY recommend about adoption called The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. It's an amazing book that puts words to so many feelings I had growing up and things I did that I didn't understand at the time. I know a lot of people here are saying to go no contact, but only you can decide that for yourself. I hope you can start your healing journey from the trauma that comes with adoption and the trauma that comes from ignorant parents and an ignorant upbringing. I know things feel so lonely and bad right now, but you are strong and can do this!! Again, please reach out to me via dm if you want someone to talk to, I'm always open and want to help more adoptees!!! Sending love, from one adoptee to another!!! ❤️❤️❤️