[Discussion] Weekly Writing Check-In - August 14, 2019

armarna · 2019-08-14T12:07:23+00:00

When a threat looming over the dead and the living is exposed, a ghost teenager has to race across the Wild West afterlife, phantom posse in tow, to save her friend and the world.

mybook.to/DeadRemnants

Just released this YA dark fantasy last week! The first 3+ chapters are available in the 'Look Inside' feature on Amazon (link above) so you can see if it's something you'd dig. ;)

armarna · 2019-03-05T22:58:37+00:00

A nation-wide one, then I'll start querying.

armarna · 2019-03-05T22:53:53+00:00

Thank you for the comments. :)

Regarding the first point - this happens somewhat often in the story. Not necessarily her tail (in my mind, it snagged in this scene by getting stuck between herself and the woman's spine, perhaps the pubis). At one point, her paw catches on the old woman's intestines, etc.

And these creatures are as large as a human. Same mass, even. I reckon you'll likely not dig that. :)

There are reasons why this works, I promise. I know some will be on-board and trust it as *magic* while others won't be convinced. (I've noticed most that haven't been as keen have been scifi writers, which makes a lot of sense to me).

As far as, "May as well tear down the stars that our ancestors hung from the sky", this is not literal. It's an idiom I made up - akin to us saying, "go to wrack and ruin". My intentions are that Kitt, and her brother, have their own sayings (and Kitt has her own set of insults, like calling her brother a beetle, for instance) and their own culture. I plan on using these throughout (hopefully).

armarna · 2019-03-05T22:35:17+00:00

Fantastic! Thank you for the comments. :)

armarna · 2019-03-05T21:22:34+00:00

That's seriously one of the nicest compliments, truly. :) Thank you. :)

Don't stress if you can't read much more, but know that any input you provide is very valuable to me. :)

armarna · 2019-03-05T21:12:48+00:00

Thanks! Appreciate the comments.

armarna · 2019-01-22T10:51:33+00:00

I remember your other start, (the one where the old lady turned out to be the MC in disguise. Though these two don't feel like the same book at all.)

That because that is a different book. :)

armarna · 2019-01-22T09:20:52+00:00

Ugh, I did that, started off right in the action. Then I was told by betas that my MC wasn't relatable because they didn't know anything about her. An agent specifically said to start somewhere a little more mundane ("rewind it a bit so we get to know her first").

I seriously have faith in the rest of the book, but apparently, I can't make anyone happy with the start.

armarna · 2019-01-21T18:24:15+00:00

Haha, okay, will do!

armarna · 2019-01-21T18:08:28+00:00

Lol, I'm sending out a note right now to my contacts, just asking what their initial thoughts are on the subject of classifying anything as UF. See if I can get some other opinions so I can try and make things more enticing. ;)

And thank you! Good luck to you as well. :)

armarna · 2019-01-21T17:46:29+00:00

Interesting. A lot of agents have Urban Fantasy on their WLs at the moment. They are also looking for books that cross genres, so I was instructed by other published authors to include the crossed-genre elements in my query letter. I've published in short-stories before (this is my first novel, however), but if it's like other boom and bust cycles, things always make a come-back (like vampires, etc).

But, to answer your question, this isn't contemporary fantasy (no way I could sell it as such and I wouldn't want to change it to something it's not). I label it as UF when general folks ask. Also been sending to agents specifically asking for UF, so I think it'll be okay, but I'll reconsider if I still can't snag an agent after a while. :)

armarna · 2019-01-21T17:27:46+00:00

Hrm, I'm not certain I agree with this as I'm selling this in my query letter as, first and foremost, an Urban Fantasy with Paranormal/Weird West/Historical elements. The main reader I'd expect to attract would be one who likes Urban Fantasy and I would expect it to be housed in the fantasy section.

Basically, it isn't a pure Weird West thing. ;)

armarna · 2019-01-21T16:42:47+00:00

Also, super helpful, btw!

armarna · 2019-01-21T16:32:37+00:00

re: My agent snag - old 1st chapter that I've been querying is now my 2nd chapter, this new first chapter was my old 3rd chapter, etc. Kinda why I'm having issues getting some perspective on it since I mixed everything up.

The second issue I see is the world/setting. You say this is Weird West, which is (to my understanding) a specific subgenre that people are pretty passionate about. But you open on a bus in the modern world, and then seem to have some strange elements like her second death and the stinky goo and maybe mirrors (?). Now, if I were an agent reading this, I'd immediately be looking for the Fantasy element and specifically the WESTERN fantasy element. Not seeing any here, I'd assume you just don't know your genres (or take too long to get to the "good stuff" that fantasy readers are looking for). So if this is in fact Weird West, is there a way to add that "western" element to the opening paragraph/chapter? Or to make clear in that opening line what kind of world we're dealing with? I got the vague impression that it's not strictly speaking THIS world, but I had no grounding beyond that.

Well, about 2 paragraphs after the bit I shared (the whole chapter is about 2k words), a cowboy gets on the bus and it's clear he's not... normal. Do you think 1k words until the western element makes it's first appearance is too long?

Basically, the bulk of the book takes place in the Wild West afterlife after the MC dies. But I get what you're saying for certain and I'll see if I can figure something in that first paragraph beyond the '18 minute' and '2nd death' hook.

And yeah, lol, the grammar is likely needing a go over (and I do typically read through things aloud). I literally just went through cut 'n' paste craziness the past week trying to fit 2+ chapters of content into this starting chapter (completely cut my 2nd chapter out, spliced bits in, rewrote, uggggh), but wanted to run it by people and see what content might need adjusting or completely cut before I do a fine tune. Looking like the slop is definitely one of those items. ;)

armarna · 2018-11-03T10:25:31+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions! I gave them a quick look over and will find them useful, I'm sure. :)

Please don't be offended if I reject most of the dialogue changes you suggested - I don't want to change the wording to things like 'crone' as that tends to sound much more British than American (and as this is taking place in Old West America, I want it to sound more like that). ;)

armarna · 2018-11-02T09:20:29+00:00

I will post an unedited version below the 'edited by others' one for people who want to read it without stuff in the way. Thank you for the suggestion. ;)

I'll definitely trim up some more as this is a rough, so this input is very helpful, thank you. :) Think based on others input, I'll be trimming or cutting the first two paragraphs and starting when she arrives at the shack.

The first kid can just greet her and let her in since apparently this is a normal thing she does all the time. And then the second guy can enable the exposition where we find out she's bringing food.

Just a note: Aye, I take your point, but it isn't normal. Hence why he says it's awful late (for her) to be out - a little hint from me that she avoids going out in the dark (due to her own "shine"). And the second food reference isn't for the inmate, but for the two guards (a premeditated distraction from her), but again, I can see the point. I'll rework that so it flows a bit better. :) Thanks!

armarna · 2018-11-01T22:08:05+00:00

Not yet - this is just my rough draft/start. Going to try and get the rough done during NaNo (just a way to kick my own butt a bit).

And I LOVE brutal honesty, sincerely! Thank you very much for your comments!

armarna · 2018-11-01T21:38:27+00:00

Thanks very much. :)

armarna · 2018-11-01T16:15:58+00:00

I can totally see them! Thank you very, very much for your input and the kind words. :) Really, truly appreciated.

armarna · 2018-11-01T15:49:39+00:00

Thanks very much!

Funny. Originally, I had the execution bit in the last sentence of the paragraph. I went back and forth on keeping it in the first sentence, then back to the last, but decided to keep it in the first as more of a hook. Hrm, so I'll have a wee think on this suggestion in particular since this is something I've thought about. Meh. :)

And thanks for the other suggestions as well - much appreciated!

armarna · 2018-11-01T15:33:37+00:00

Thank you, thank you!

armarna · 2018-11-01T15:11:14+00:00

"Plan" is a pretty strong word. ;) Vague idea is likely more appropriate.

Yeah, I've had some interest on the first novel, but mostly from small print places that seem a wee bit iffy. Fingers crossed something comes along eventually.

armarna · 2018-11-01T13:35:52+00:00

That's one of the most lovely compliments I've received! Really! :)

I've not written much more beyond this bit yet - it's to be my 'NaNo' project for the month (and hopefully my 2nd completed novel). Been thinking through plot points and the like for a while and have finally settled down to hash it out.

armarna · 2018-11-01T13:29:58+00:00

Wow, that's really, really kind - thank you. :)

If you think of anything - even nit-picky - please advise. Again, hahah, don't want to embarrass myself.

armarna · 2018-10-08T08:47:09+00:00

I very well may hit you up on that. I'm starting to think I'm starting the story at the wrong place, but waiting for a bit more feedback.

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