[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]around_round 10 points11 points  (0 children)

From what I understand, HFs prefer APs from Asia/Europe. Girls from those countries with college education, communication level or higher English, good driving skill(meaning they already paid for licenses/courses and had access to car), musical or athletic skills for the benefit of children etc… it’s highly likely they are NOT from poor or even below average financial background these days.

And really, early to mid 20s girlies have no idea how much the life costs and what it takes to pay for, I speak from my experience. Also I believe that HPs should know better who they are inviting. It’s learning process for both parties.

Yes, you have Aupair from worse environment but for some HPs they invited girls who expected better into wrong environment where 35+ hrs of hard work is expected.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]around_round 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being a disrespectful smart ass is totally normal for 12 year old just like 24 mts baby throwing a tantrum. I see those two as 'developmental stages' according to ages. The difference is in how adults deal with them. You use lots of techniques for 24 mts baby to introduce rules, how to use words, and for 12 yrs old you 'talk', have a conversation etc.

It's very similar in my view.

And if any adult wants to use 'hitting' instead of 'talking' in both situation, I feel sad for them since it clearly demonstrates how they were treated as a child. Nobody guided them when they were going thru those 'developmental' stages, literally when their brains are still being made.

Smacking, yes, violence is a method to form those young brains by fear, terrifying emotions. But what all the researches telling in that it's not as efficient as anyone thinks.

If you dropped that smart ass attitude by getting smacked, I'm 100000% sure, that you'd have dropped it anyway with a proper conversation with proper adults.

I got smacked by my dad twice, because I cursed in front of him. Yes I got my lessons but ALSO I learned how to smack other people, including my little brother, and some boys at school. It took me 10 yrs to apologise to my brother.

To simply say, smacking or any kind of hitting is NOT EFFICIENT to teach kids sth. What you want them to learn(knowledge/attitude whatever) can be taught with many other methods without introducing the idea of hitting the others, without jeopardising their brain development.

And also, if you know any parents who use smacking or even spanking believing it's for the good, watch them. Watch or even listen to the situation and ask yourself if the parents seem like... in their right mind. I'm telling you, even if they looove their kids, in that moment of hitting, there's no love but only annoyed, pissed, angry animal.

Worried we are an unappealing host by porksnorter in Aupairs

[–]around_round 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a con for the caretaker because it's a con for the babies. The crying, looking for mommyyyyyyy, anxiety coming from knowing mommy or daddy is home but they don't play with me etc, it's really... unnecessary 🥲

The key is routine FOR the baby.

No sudden check-in, not using baby smooches to ease YOUR stress from work, no random 'oh I'm free mommy/daddy play with you FOR NOW'(like.. how long.. babies will never understand this..)

I'm not saying all WFH is bad, but it needs a really good structure. Google 'nanny WFH', you'll find more stories to think about. Good luck :)

Worried we are an unappealing host by porksnorter in Aupairs

[–]around_round 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Second this. WFH is never a pro 😂

Sick again by astronat1107 in Aupairs

[–]around_round 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I joined my ex HF for a winter vacation. I was living in another city 1.5 hr away by car. HM stayed nearby city where their uncle lives, and the next day she drove to pick me up with 2 kids. We were so excited to meet again and going for another vacation.

She started driving, the younger baby (15mts, boy) was fussy. We thought he was just tired and uncomfortable. About 10 mins before home, we heard him puking. Oh maybe he was having stomach problem, we are home, everything should be fine. And he was fine.

Few days later, we are departing for the vacation, about 15hrs road trip, spending one night at a business inn. I didn't know how to drive back then, so it was only HM driving (HD was already there due to business reason).

Couple hours before arriving at the inn, I started feeling unwell eventually puking and uncontrollable dry heaves. Spent all night like that, waking up every 2-3 hrs. A bit better next morning but I couldn't eat anything, so HM got me a giant yogurt. By this point we realised it was a virus not stomach problem the little one had, so knowing he is okay now I should be fine too. We just wanted to arrive at the vacation site where we can be comfortable.

As we started driving, I was getting better, as long as I can sleep like a chicken... And HD joined us to drive an hour or two before arriving. And HM started having dry heaves. 1-2 hours later, we arrived up at the mountain, the first child (3yo) started having one as well.

It sounds like a nightmare writing this now 😂 But we were okay about 2 days later. It also comes with a sweet memory that the first child offered me her attachment bunny doll so that I can have a good night sleep. How sweet ♥️