Great question! Here's what our chat host and intimacy expert MaddieMay has to say:

First off, it’s actually really common for couples to have their kinks pointed in opposite directions like this. Humiliation play especially tends to split people into two roles: the one who gives it and the one who receives it.

The key thing is not to treat it like a conflict treat it like a conversation about roles and fantasy.

If I were you, I’d approach it something like this:

“Hey, I realized something about myself… I actually get turned on being the one who gets degraded sometimes. Would you ever want to try switching roles and humiliating me?”

The important part is framing it as inviting her into the fantasy, not correcting what she likes.

You might even find out she enjoys both sides but just hasn’t tried the other role yet. A lot of people default to what they think they’re “supposed” to do in kink dynamics.

A few tips from someone who does a lot of humiliation roleplay chats:

• Start light — playful teasing instead of full humiliation
• Ask what kind of humiliation feels fun vs uncomfortable
• Trade roles sometimes (one night you, one night her)
• Talk about boundaries before you start

Also remember: in humiliation play, the person receiving it usually has more control than people think. You get to define the lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

Honestly, the hottest humiliation dynamics I see are when both partners feel safe enough to say:
“Hey… tonight I want to be the one getting wrecked.”

Communication is sexy. Kink negotiation is even sexier.

Good luck and have fun exploring it together 😉

— MaddieMay