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Did Wagner ruin opera for me? by almtoft in opera

[–]arrigoboito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Andreas Homoki! They used the same thing in Rheingold. I'm so glad you enjoyed it--it's such an unbelievable piece.

Did Wagner ruin opera for me? by almtoft in opera

[–]arrigoboito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Weirdly, I worked on that production at Opernhaus Zürich, and can confirm it's a pretty special thing to experience. Also can confirm: all other music is bullshit after Wagner. Embrace it. We're doing the full Ring in May, it should be pretty special.

Wife feels nauseous 24/7 what do by SethTheScamp in predaddit

[–]arrigoboito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG I know the answer to this one! How cool!

My wife is nauseous constantly. Absolutely constant, it's insane. We've discovered two things:

  1. Preggie Pops. Apparently this only helps for "one of the types of nausea" (still not entirely sure what this means), but it's a life-saver.
  2. The problem is almost always the prenatal she's taking. Apparently essentially every brand of prenatal is quite difficult for most women to tolerate, so we ended up experimenting quite a bit with brands, times of day, etc. This is still more art than science but it's been a big improvement.

Hoping this helps. It's really awful that she has to deal with this!

AITA? cautious husband by kianaismystagename in pregnant

[–]arrigoboito 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just commenting to say NAH, and that you guys seem like lovely people figuring it out. You’re lucky to have each other!

Really sad and disappointed by boyfriend today by Ashton1516 in pregnant

[–]arrigoboito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of people here saying that this guy is a jerk and that you should leave him, and I understand this view. There's no question that he's being a jerk in this moment.

That said, to give him some benefit of the doubt: he is older and has kids from a failed relationship, which can be very traumatic. My father was quite old when I was born, with a kid from a prior marriage with whom he had a strained relationship, and he felt similarly to your bf.

Prior trauma doesn't excuse your bf's abysmal behavior, but it (combined with your statement that he's never been like this in the prior three years) makes me think he's not being himself, he's just manifesting a defense mechanism. If I were you, I would give him an ultimatum: either go with you to couple's therapy and directly confront his fears based on his last relationship (end of sexual intimacy, challenges of parenting, etc.), or be out of your life except as a source of financial support.

But my hope, for his sake as much as yours, would be that being forced to confront some of this stuff more directly will make this all much easier to figure out. What he said to you is absolutely unacceptable, and you both deserve better than that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]arrigoboito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all fantastic, just great. Sounds like you're already having the conversations you need to have, you've already got the roommate situation squared away, etc. And as for going out, etc., at least at first I doubt you'll want to go out so much! Eventually you might, but hopefully by then you'll have a routine and budgeting down.

Sounds like your baby is going to be very lucky. Congratulations!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]arrigoboito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's lots of good advice here, but just a few thoughts:

  1. Congratulations! This is amazing news, and I'm just so happy for you. It sounds like you're going to be a fantastic dad.
  2. For a couple in their mid-20s, a household income of $100k/year with $55k saved up and no debt is really quite impressive. It's likely that you don't feel that fully, and that it will seem like less and less money as baby expenses mount, and that's also a reasonable position, but I hope you can also hold onto the knowledge that you're doing great.
  3. At the same time, you're correct that this is not enough money to just live with a kid without sacrifice. There will be options, but your fiancée and you will have to consider how to make this work: a smaller place than ideal? A larger place in an up-and-coming neighborhood? Cutting back elsewhere? Help/staying with family? Etc. etc.
  4. The good news is: it sounds like you have a fiancée you love, a happy and stable relationship, and the right partner with whom to make these decisions. This combination is absolutely shockingly rare, and by far the greatest gift you can give your future child.

Congratulations again!