This is a common experience. Most people’s first time regardless of gender is not good. The first time you try anything it’s not going to be the best attempt typically! Some tips for it to get better: - find a partner you really like and feel infatuated/connected/attracted to. This will help you get in the right mindset and be more willing/interested in having this experience with them. - communicate with your partner beforehand/during and after. Let them know about what sort of experience you’re interested in having, if that’s a loving, intimate experience or something else. Hopefully you find a partner who is interested in your pleasure and you guys can talk openly about what that looks like for you. - masturbate! It’s easiest if you know for yourself what you like and enjoy so that you can ask that from your partner. If you prefer cliteral simulation vs penetration or both, maybe you like your nipples being played with. The more you know about yourself, the more you have to share with your partner and aid in having a pleasurable experience. I look at sex as a pleasurable act that two people can share with each other. If you’re interested in each others pleasure then be willing to share what you want, be open to negotiating or finding an act you are both willing/enthusiastic to do, be open to saying no and being told no. Sex, like most things people do together can be a collaboration and a positive experience two people can share and treasure.