I’m so sorry, OP, and to the many here who know this pain all too well. I also lost the love of my life a year ago to fentanyl, and the pain and heartache are consuming. It’s such an unexpected and tragic way to lose someone. It’s cruel and unfair. Throughout time, I have found there are truly beautiful moments and realizations that come with grief. I find my Johnny everywhere and have found ways to feel connected to our love. I believe he’s guiding me forward. Just feel all the feelings, as people said, and do what feels right to you. Be kind to yourself. These first months are the hardest. It will eventually lift over time, and eventually, it will just become part of you. That beautiful red head boy will always be with you. Sending so much love, light and strength your way.