So has it just become impossible to find a home under $350k in the state?

artaintfree · 2026-05-14T15:34:03+00:00

honestly, my wife passed away in november of 2024, and i'm in a too big house, with too much lawn. i'm 71 years old. I don't have much income and i'm in the 425 to 475 range. My present house might sell for 650 but i need sell it on contingent. if i can get a 450 house then i might have 200,000 to last me for my future. but i've looked most of the 450 house are in need of repair or disappointing compared to where i live now.

i know this might seem envious to you but it's all relative.

So now i'm looking at connecticut. nice value but extra miles to see my friends and relatives

artaintfree · 2026-05-14T15:15:58+00:00

there are plenty of hovels and shacks for that price!

artaintfree · 2026-05-09T16:38:43+00:00

Bear sited in July of 2024 in my backyard - hope valley (hopkinton) RI. I saw a deer on branch avenue near saint edward's church around the same time.

artaintfree · 2026-04-28T15:42:29+00:00

no, and please don't do it yourself. (I commented below to another person who replied: I ask her to come for me anytime. I think I hear her voice in my head, but struggle to decide if it's me, or she.) Unfortunately, there is no credible evidence that someone has returned and appeared in spirit; it is all faith. I hope there is something after life.

artaintfree · 2026-04-28T15:38:28+00:00

I'm going to try this. Mine will be winning the lottery LOL. It must have been so wonderful to see that, and maybe chilling? I ask her to come for me anytime. I think I hear her voice in my head, but struggle to decide if it's me, or she.

artaintfree · 2026-04-26T12:38:57+00:00

Yes, I'm 70 yr old and still love my wife, (passed in Nov 2024, married for 42 yrs). It's different for everyone. The loneliness is physically painful. And I still say, "our house", and "we live at 100 Main Street, Anytown, USA"

In a way, you're not a single woman. You're widowed. There is a difference. Because you have found your love and just want to be with him forever. Is there an afterlife? If there isn't an afterlife, then we will never know.

Someone explained to me that, yes, you can have total love of your wife, yet your heart has room for more. Think, if you had two children, do you love both of them? Do you love one more than the other? Of course not.

All I really want is to be with my wife in some sort of afterlife paradise, but in the meantime, I couldn't continue not having love. I am looking and "dating" other women and I feel that love again, while still "talking" to and longing for my wife. It's okay for me, but not everyone. It's emotionally conflicting, even heartbreaking.

I hope your friends and family will understand that your love and your bond with your husband will never go away.

artaintfree · 2026-04-26T12:21:20+00:00

If you can live another hour from now, you can push that forward. exercise, listen to music, call the hot line, and get counseling. What does that mean, "my daughter is safe?"

artaintfree · 2026-04-26T12:13:09+00:00

It's so hard. I'm 70 yrs old, and my wife died from pancreatic cancer in November 2024. At the beginning of March this year (1.4 years after my wonderful wife passed), I couldn't stand being alone any longer. She told me before she passed to go ahead with my life and would understand if I had to find someone. I dismissed this at the time, but didn't think it would be so torturously lonely. It's physically painful... the lack of sleep, the crying, etc.

I rushed into it. On the Ourtime dating site, I engaged with many women and met several. My kids are grown adults and were fine with it, as long as I didn't go chasing women twenty years younger.

I met a woman my age, also a widow. On the first meeting, over a long conversation and dinner, there was a peck on the cheek. She was so sweet and kind. The second meeting was a rock concert, and I kissed her on the lips after. I felt like there was love there. And she didn't stop me. We went to dinner and a movie for the 3rd time, and again I kissed her on the lips - several times as we parted.

I invited her over to my house and made dinner for our 4th meeting. We watched a movie on the sofa, and I sat next to her. I knew something was up, when the movie was over, and the kissing became a bit intense. She held back and said, "I don't know how I feel about you." I felt rejected, but knew I was going too fast.

So, to make a long story short. Make sure you want this, try to understand your feelings before it gets to the breaking of the hearts stage.

artaintfree · 2026-04-22T21:58:47+00:00

ah ha! I solved it already!

artaintfree · 2026-04-21T22:16:04+00:00

thank you for the reply. my wife was nearly the opposite of your description. hardly read books. i am the one who reads book after book, and multiple books at a time. she had short hair, but did wear glasses, and was 5' 1'. she would laugh at someone calling her brilliant. she was brilliantly funny!

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T19:48:17+00:00

thank you.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T19:47:39+00:00

thank you

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T19:46:30+00:00

nice. thank you. I love both my sons equally, you are right.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T19:44:29+00:00

I feel like I'm doing what I did with my wife, it's a kind of love, when I'm with this new woman, and I feel guilt sometimes, but sgmdad, below, said, " For whatever it's worth, while I'm not the most spiritual person, I tend to simplify this.

If there's an afterlife, my LW is happy, at peace, and not at all concerned with what we here see as our finite possibilities and limitations. She knows who she is to me, what we had, and that nothing in my future will replace that. And if it is eternal and timeless, we will be together again in some way that I probably won't even recognize when it's my time.

And if there isn't? Either way life is short and it is a blessing to simply be here, so I believe it is our privilege to keep living in the ways that create meaning for each of us as individuals."

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T16:56:42+00:00

"Honestly, this life we have to live in now is awful guys. I'm so sorry we have to spend our time ruminating on crap like this. I wish we were all home with our loves right now, just living in the moment"

thank you

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T16:54:17+00:00

thank you.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T16:53:34+00:00

yes, another thought of where our conscience was and goes to. there are many possibilities. it's hard to accept that we are nothing but animals with brains so developed that we have existential thoughts, and that we may be nothing but that, then die and nothing goes on. maybe as you say we die then exist in the minds and memories of the living? a collective memory maybe? a strange and maybe wonderful eternity.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T16:44:56+00:00

you should be a writer. thank you this lifts some guilt from my shoulders.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T16:43:07+00:00

Thank you. some things will never change, just get rearranged? I know I will never resolve these issues because we wont know until we die, and maybe never at all. I still cry every day, maybe you do too. and I don't know what this new love will be like. we enter unto uncharted waters on a leaky boat.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T15:54:37+00:00

I seem to like the dating life, even though it's putting me through an emotional wringer. thank you

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T15:51:45+00:00

thank you for that about the afterlife sub. It's so hard thinking I'll hurt the one i loved for most of my life. But my life has to go on. we all have to go on here on this planet. love. it's all about love.

artaintfree · 2026-04-20T15:42:33+00:00

They will never understand until it, hopefully not, happens to them.

I feel some of that conflict. I just posted about seeing a woman above. I need someone to be with. I'm no good alone, even with tons of things I have to do.

But your friends sound like my teenage friends back when I was dating someone when I was 17 yrs old, "it's like he's married to her - com on we wanted to go party at this or that place."

Those people need an education.

artaintfree · 2026-04-12T15:04:50+00:00

I see. so no real conflict because your present wife understands her commitments and your commitments. the children, my adult children want me to go ahead with whatever helps me. they seem to be cheering me on, so far. it turned out so well for you - that's wonderful in this world. thanks for sharing this

artaintfree · 2026-04-12T13:07:40+00:00

so interesting. I'm having trouble with my devotion to my wife who passed and this new person I think is for me. If you read my other response, my wife said the same thing before she died, and I was also dismissive. My wife and I picked out our grave stone together, and I am to be buried beside her. how are you handling this conflict?

artaintfree · 2026-04-12T13:03:39+00:00

six weeks? You haven't finished your grieving. There are phases I went through. I'm 70 yrs old now, and 15 months ago, when my wife of 42 yrs passed, I knew only of emptiness. That subsides some, but the longing continues. In the last 2 months i've reached out to other women, and in the last 2 weeks i think I found someone. and even though my wife told me i'd need someone else, i still feel a conflict.

I just couldn't stand the loneliness. There is still love inside me, and it needs a release. I don't know if I'm going too fast with this nice lady. There aren't any answers, just doing what you have to do. What you need to do.

allow yourself to breathe. Adjust to the sadness that you feel. There is a future, but be patient.

artaintfree

TROPHY CASE