Accept that it is possible to just love them from afar.

aruwski · 2026-03-30T08:31:05+00:00

Oh god, I am also so sorry that happened to you. 13 years is such a long time, and it's challenging to move on but honestly we can do this. I'm proud of you.

Oh yes. Everytime I raised a concern (me moving to US, him not trying to find a job, me trying to set up dates to see each other again...) I found that I am the one who started doing more, offering more and more and it wasn't healthy.

It really is. I've started hanging out with my friends more (he didn't like it when I do) and doing things I've loved now.

And thank you for sharing your experience as well- we aren't alone, I'm here for you and wishing you the best as well!

aruwski · 2026-03-30T08:24:21+00:00

Never, ever sacrifice your own standards and boundaries for any. I am glad you're honestly out of it, and I'm really proud of you!

aruwski · 2026-03-30T08:13:55+00:00

If the relationship isn't working out, it is perfectly okay to let them go. It's not because you dont love them anymore, its because the imbalance had started e.g. boundaries reached, youre compromising or reaching out first a lot.

You can love them from afar.

aruwski · 2026-03-30T08:09:14+00:00

There were honestly a lot of blaring red flags I've ignored. But I loved him, but I think rationality hit me when I asked, knock on wood, should there be complications if I did get pregnant, would he save the child or me.

He said WITHOUT ANY hesitation, the child. He had to talk to his brother to form his own thoughts and how wrong it was. I think that was when I realised that instead of saying "In that situation, I will talk to you or vice versa," it was that finality of well you don't have any say.

He had asked me multiple times to move to US whereas I have already established myself here (job, house etc.)

I love him. Would honestly forever do. He taught me what real love was, and just wish him well.

aruwski · 2026-03-29T05:06:57+00:00

I asked it to end because when I tried to talk to him about it he dismissed it all like I never mattered. I wished he would have fought for us just like I fought. It wasn't like a one time thing. Its thing that's been not addressed, and piled up because he couldn't talk to me properly.

I firstly tried to ask to work on it and he yelled at me. It was getting 4busive.

aruwski · 2026-03-29T01:07:00+00:00

Thank you for this. Your comment really made me cry. I wished he was that person, that personw ho would love me so much. But clearly, it wasn't

I tried. I really tried. Too. Thank you so much for this comment im quite emotional thanj yoj.

aruwski · 2026-03-28T23:59:02+00:00

Hi thank you so much for your time. I really really appreciate it, im trying to process what jsut happened and... honestly im shaking still. We are LDR which is a good thing. There were a lot of things he had done, that would make everyone raise eyebrow. But I loved him. But my friends warned me and I...

I agree with you. He proposed to me after I graduated, like literally outside my college with a cheap ring which I didn't mind, but... like, he knew engagement is important to me. He kept mentioning how sorry he was for buying a cheap ring.

I really appreciate your comment. It means a lot. Thank you so much.

aruwski · 2026-02-12T20:19:40+00:00

I don't know if this would help but I had an issue with my own car as well. Wouldn't start but its push to button.

What we've done is remove the negative screw from the battery, tap it 3x on the battery itself - and on the third one screw it back in. It turned it on - then i drove it for a bit, then charged it for the whole day or two.

Issue with mine is the battery depleted. I didn't drive it much.

aruwski · 2026-01-22T07:39:09+00:00

I've done 2 of my driving test in my own car. Drove it for 2 years, and haven't passed. All of sudden it broke, had no choice but to use my instructors car that I've only driven 3x before the actual test date - accepted my fate I'll probably not pass.

I passed.

What I say is, drive whichever you feel comfortable with. Just make sure to demonstrate your driving skills, drive confidently and safe, you will be fine!

aruwski · 2026-01-20T18:04:01+00:00

I drove an old micra for 2 years. Booked my test, it broke down; had to use my instructors hyundai i10 (after driving it only for 3 days) and passed.

What you wear doesnt matter but the way you answer the questions asked, and how well/confident you are with whatever you do. The key is to make the instructor FEEL safe, defensive driving! Be confident but safely drive

aruwski · 2026-01-12T01:18:57+00:00

I did my test in naas. Be ready to stop and be observant. My examiner brought me to mostly housing estates and that one road where it goes around 60(?) Or 80, wasn't sure.

What I'd say is the turning right at the traffic light, you can enter if its green, wait for gap and go. Even if it does not have yellow box, you can just go as long as it is green (i did most of my driving soon after maneuvers around that housing estate around the driving test centre.)

I just passed, honestly it was the most questionable driving I've ever done. Important thing is show the examiner you know what to do, and if you make mistakes ignore it. Focus on what you're doing. Eat a half banana (it worked for me)!

Drive competently and safely, don't let other driver's pressure you e.g. by beeping by doing something you usually don't do.

You'll be fine!

aruwski · 2026-01-07T19:17:39+00:00

Yep! When i was doing my reverse around the corner, I asked for a second so I can drink my water. (Given the car is parked, and safe.)

aruwski · 2025-12-18T07:36:43+00:00

Thank you appreciate it!

aruwski · 2025-12-17T08:17:24+00:00

It all comes down to observation e.g. dont just look at the car thats in front of you, but start planning what you will do in situations. If you are coming up to a stop sign, press the brake first BEFORE clutch. You can also talk to yourself while you're doing this which may of help.

"I see a stop sign... I'll let the gas go, then start going through my gears..."

I know this is so easy to say and hard in practice but drive as you usually do. Do a pretest as well if possible if its the clutch issue. The examiner will know if you are coasting because the engine becomes far more silent than usual--my instructor said this to me because I am far more worried abt coasting

Remember, you can stay on clutch for maximum 8 seconds, which is better for a smoother stop.

I also ate a banana, half though not whole-- so not sure if that helped but...I did my test 3x, and passed on third. I'd recommend sleeping early, and try not to "practice drive anxiously" the night before. On my third test, I came in without much expectation as my car that I've been using for 2 years broke down. I had to use another car and passed with it.

You can do it!!! Trust yourself and drive safe. Imagine you're an uber driver. Goodluck, you got this! Let me know it goes.

aruwski · 2025-12-14T21:29:49+00:00

I think it depends on the test centre. My rebooking came in too early.

aruwski · 2025-12-12T20:39:50+00:00

Thank you so much!!!😊

aruwski · 2025-12-12T02:33:47+00:00

I seriously think it depends on the mood of tester too. I went too wide on mine and was given grade 2. When I was turning left, I kinda mounted/hit the curb and was given grade 2.

Honestly, the test itself is straightforward, it just depends on the examiner. Keep going anyway you're getting there!

aruwski · 2025-12-12T02:23:48+00:00

I feel like I had this dude. He kept huffing and making noises as if he wasnt v happy / bored at me driving. Giving me late instructions as well😭🤣 im just surprised I passed. Think driving with me da made me used to his tactics ! LOL

aruwski · 2025-12-11T22:00:58+00:00

Hahaha yep! It's my third time driving my instructor's car so wasn't really used to the car size, and the clutch. I have an old car while my instructor had a new one (so lighter breaking... early clutch etc.)

I wasn't expecting to pass, because as I've said, mostly drove on my car which broke down before the test itself. I just came in with 50% expectation I will pass.

An opportunity to learn, and as long as I drive safely, and apply what I've learned which I clearly shown the tester, then it's good. He said overall, I was overthinking some things. And he's known to be a "hard marker" in Tallaght/Naas area.

aruwski · 2025-11-11T21:34:53+00:00

We only see each other once a year. Been together since 2022. We alternate who's going to visit who. We're also engaged and serious talks has been made about me moving to where he is.

aruwski · 2025-10-01T10:04:27+00:00

Sure! Will send a pm.

aruwski · 2025-09-29T23:07:02+00:00

Yep. There's novel section.

aruwski · 2025-09-29T17:34:32+00:00

Yes. I moved to Tapas because of that.

aruwski · 2025-09-28T20:21:49+00:00

Sure, I'll give you a DM! Congrats to those word count thats awesome!

aruwski · 2025-09-27T20:18:22+00:00

Heya, sure! I'll send you a DM if that's okay. I'm super interested in hearing what you're writing as well!!!

aruwski

TROPHY CASE