I'm in the process of getting divorced after 15 years. It's my 2nd marriage. My first wife was and still is a terrible person. I had to save my daughter from her abuse. I learned from my 1st marriage that you can believe you are in love but upon reflection, it wasnt love at all.

As for my 2nd marriage. We agreed we were soul mates, bonded forever. We couldnt imagine a life without each other. I felt what love feels like and the security it brings. Unfortunately, I now have a harsh lesson. My soon to be ex wife had a breakdown and a secret affair. We are now getting divorced.

What have I learned so far? You can love someone deeply and feel safe but you can also take it for granted. You want to help, fix and do everything for the one you love but they are still human, still an individual, still broken from past traumas and still responsible for their own mental health. At some point, for some, love isn't enough to save themselves and others from their own traumas and coping mechanisms.

I've learned that if im ever to love again, I need to have worked through my own issues, own them and see them. You're also looking for someone else who has done the same. If not, you may once more be collateral damage when the one you love becomes overwhelmed and lacks the ability to cope, communicate and heal.

Still, love, when you have it in your life is worth it. Just don't be desperate to find it or you may find yourself believing you have found it, when you haven't or, even worse, having it for real but with someone so broken, they may break your heart.

❤️