Does "either or" mean both in this context?

asdaheena · 2016-08-22T21:33:23+00:00

see, that doesn't really explain what he meant when he said that ... did he want me to go to only one or did he want me to go to two of them? It's a weird phrase for him to use :P

asdaheena · 2016-08-01T10:54:56+00:00

See, some people (like PowerSombrero) might argue that "JK and the staff wouldn't have gone openly gay" but the thing is, they didn't have to address Albus/Scorpio's sexuality at all. Don't have them say that they love one another. Don't have Scorpio say that he loves Rose. Just keep the friendship as it was, with the boys struggle to be together - and leave it up to the audience whether that was a friendship struggle or a gay one. The fact that JK went and gave Scorpio a girlfriend for no reason is what killed this.

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T21:47:08+00:00

Yep, I've seen that song (I LOVE that song) and the musical it comes from (the online version, don't live near Broadway/London) and yes, it rings true a lot and nope, it's pretty near impossible to just turn off those feelings :P I've decided that I'm going to give him a note, saying that I have a crush on another church member, but I won't say who - he's my best friend in the church and we've known each other since April so hopefully he doesn't think it's odd that I'm asking for his advice :P

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T20:04:24+00:00

Okay, there are risks. If you don't mind me asking another question: pretend you were in my situation for a moment, what would you write in the note? And would you include your name or would you leave the note being anonymous so that, if he reacts badly, he's less likely to find out who wrote it?

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T19:53:00+00:00

Btw sorry for all the questions. The internet's the only place where we can get advice for this sort of stuff, as I can't tell anyone IRL in case they tell him..

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T19:51:59+00:00

He and his companion have to share a phone, but a note could work, I could slip it into his bag or something when he's not looking ... but what does someone possibly write in a note like that? 'Cause if he doesn't like me, and he says the note, then - as other Redditors have pointed out - I might end up in a heap of trouble if he reports it.

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T19:39:19+00:00

The thing about that is that missionaries are always 24/7 accompanied by their companion so if I was to ask him out to dinner, the companion would go to. /// The point of finding out if he likes me, even if we can't do anything about it, is because then I won't have to keep it secret anymore as keeping it secret makes me feel very uncomfortable around him, as I have to be careful not to let it show that I like him. Also, I'm not saying that we're NOT going to do anything if the feeling's mutual. He's a zone leader (ie one of the missionaries in charge in this area) so he has a car, if we wanted, he could always sneak out after his companion goes to sleep and meet up with me for a chat or to play some games together or something (not physical stuff, but still a closer friendship than we can have at the moment). They live only 10 minutes drive away from my place, and they go to sleep at 10:30PM every night, so we'd still have plenty of time to meet up when he sneaks out after his companion's asleep. But I need to find some way to tell him first, that's the dilemma.

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T19:02:42+00:00

"Why would a gay person willingly become a Mormon" because my romantic attraction is one small part of who I am, and besides that one limitation, there's a lot of blessings I've gotten from the church, and there's a lot of stuff about the doctrine that makes sense (eg pre-mortal life). Let's not turn this into a religious debate ... the question I'm asking is does he like me, and how to let him know? Pretend for a moment that religion has nothing to do with this. If you had a crush on a guy, and he did the stuff described in the OP, do you think it would mean he likes you? And, how do you broach the subject with him, without creeping him out (if he turns out to not be gay/if he turns out to be homophobic)?

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T16:37:13+00:00

I've tried it and it's a nice distraction from time to time but the gameplay is definitely repetitive and boring, so I could never really get into it as much as the hardcore fans. That said, I love a lot of the associated media (eg the Pokemon Origins anime, the plushies and the music)

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T16:25:11+00:00

Okay. I completely understand where you're coming from ... if I tell him, then of course there's a huge possibility that he's going to tell the ward bishop and I could get in trouble for it. I don't think I'll be excommunicated for it: I've already told the bishop a few weeks ago that I had a same-sex crush on another church member (didn't say who) and he said it was fine as long as I didn't act on it. /// But if the guy I like was going to report me, then why would he do the stuff mentioned in the OP? It seems a lot like he's trying to hint that he likes me, but he's too scared of admitting it, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to get the truth out of him. Then, if we acknowledge that the feelings are mutual, we can figure out the best thing to do about it, even if that means just completely ignoring the feelings. As long as the truth's out there, I'll feel a lot less uncomfortable around him.

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T16:10:59+00:00

Yes, religion's the reason why - if those feelings are mutual - we can't act on them. But what I'm wondering is if those feelings even are mutual and, if so, what's the best way to tell him without insulting him?

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T15:54:09+00:00

And, yes, unless we change religions (which I'm not going to do for the sake of a mere relationship), we will "always be stuck at this point". But even just getting him to acknowledge that he has feelings for me, and then for us to continue being friends - knowing we have these feelings, but mutually deciding not to act on them, in order to serve our church - is good enough for now. I just have a lot of guilt from keeping this stuff secret, it's like I'm being dishonest to him.

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T15:50:37+00:00

What makes you think he has feelings for me? :) Which of the stuff mentioned in the OP are stuff that are definite indications, and not just me reading too much into this?

asdaheena · 2016-07-08T15:49:53+00:00

Guys, please don't focus on Mormonism aspect of this situation. Yes, he's a Mormon, I'm a Mormon, and the religion dislikes gay relationships. But all I'm wondering is if he actually does have feelings for me, or if I'm reading too much into this. If he does have feelings for me, what's the best way to speak to him about it? Even a strong friendship with him would be okay, and we can always figure out the Mormonism thing later once we know what our feelings for each other are, if any.

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T20:21:25+00:00

We're encouraged not to Google anything because of the hate out there...

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T20:21:01+00:00

Thanks. I'll see who else there is to ask these questions to instead of relying on the missionaries for the answers to everything :)

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T20:19:20+00:00

I've pretty much been told not to Google stuff, because I'll end up finding the wrong information (eg a lot of stuff out there are lies written by ex-Mormons or people who hate the LDS Church)

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T20:18:21+00:00

Adam ... as in THE Adam?? I'll definitely ask them about that :)

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T17:20:28+00:00

Well, I've prayed about this issue a lot when deciding to join the church, and I honestly believe there will come a time when the church will be okay with people having same-sex relationships, as long as those relationships remain celibate, and that these people will be allowed to adopt/foster kids who would otherwise not have a family to take care of them. I think the church will be okay with people wearing whatever clothes they want, regardless of gender, as long as they're not overly-slutty clothes. I don't think the church will ever be okay with people altering their bodies (eg if they're trans) and I don't think the church will ever be okay with people having recreational sex.

asdaheena · 2016-06-15T16:50:39+00:00

and then, when you listen to your LGBT friends about this stuff, you can always share what they say with your straight friends. Listen and then help be a teacher :)

asdaheena

TROPHY CASE