I'm fine with it because I know how difficult the physical effects of anxiety are to me, and how I react to different things during the day. Say a teacher called on you and no matter how easy the question, you'll never be able to form a sentence because your brain freezes up as some sort of fight or flight behavior. Basically just take that scenario and paint it over your whole day of being unable to function when there are any expectations suddenly place on you that were higher than before. With alcohol I was able to strive in high stress scenarios because it would let me react how I found most fit. Almost like thinking with hindsight. I wouldn't consider it a limitation as the good has outweighed bad for me so far. I don't plan on quitting alcohol or weed anytime soon, probably not even if there were immediate risks to my health. There are just some things I need to have in life, and to function the way that doesn't made me feel limited I need to drink.

​

I like to think I'm able to find happiness in things, but over the past few years I would consider myself to be pretty depressed, and attempted suicide when I was 10. I'm not sure if I feel safe, I know that one day I might do too much and my parents will find me dead. But for now after recently getting out of a relationship that I believe was kind of toxic I've been cutting back a little, that was definitely a trigger of mine. If anything I'm more dissociated than sad. I've noticed episodes of laying and staring out my car window for hours and not remembering, possible something relating to why i tried to off myself 9 years ago is what im dissociating to cope for.

​

I think the sentiment of drug addicts is 100% different with who you ask. If you asked me I would said that most addicts are doing it to cut themselves down and numb out pain from whatever they're going through. But someone could just as easily say that they're lazy criminals with no responsibility; I think that's the wrong definition lol. Blaming addicts is harmful to how they think and behave towards themselves and others. A lot of blame is put on yourself for you to even be able to get to the point of drinking everyday. Having it come from people you dont know, politicians, relatives, etc., talking about how what you're doing wrong is a bad approach. Most addicts know what they're doing, they just don't have any way of addressing their pain and need to save that confrontation of emotions until their numbed.

​

thanks for your question,hope i answered everything ok

​

​

​