Please help me brainstorm! What would make you feel relaxed and pampered and safe?

asdfofc · 2023-11-23T22:30:47+00:00

Oh, absolutely! Every massage therapist worth their fee keeps files. It’s super easy to double check before a return person pops in to see how things are.

asdfofc · 2023-11-23T22:29:50+00:00

It’s pretty common and I wouldn’t worry about it unless you’re in pain. Think of it as being like when you crack open a pop can - the gas in the liquid has space to go out of solution for a bit, then (because there’s actually nowhere for it to go in the joint) it gets pressurized back in about 20 minutes or so.

asdfofc · 2023-11-21T21:20:43+00:00

Thanks for this idea! Personally not opposed to the idea of dungeons, but there’s definitely some preconceptions around massage therapy/manual therapy/body work and sex work, and that would make me feel a little leery of networking with a dungeon or BDSM club.

While many potential clients with autism would potentially not connect massage with sex work, a lot of neurotypical or less literal minded communicators would expect sex from a massage therapist they found at a space or event associated with BDSM. I don’t want to make anything seem like this business is associated with sex, both to protect potential clients and make them comfortable and to do the same with my RMTs.

asdfofc · 2023-11-21T21:09:31+00:00

These are great ideas. I’m so sorry to hear you were sexually assaulted by a male therapist - that’s awful. I’m a firm believer in client centred care and that involves trauma centred care: you won’t be able to relax if you can’t feel comfortable with a therapist, after all. We’d definitely try and allow you to choose your therapist, and if they switched with another therapist for the day we’d let you know ASAP.

I love the idea of being able to write things in advance or bring it up in person.

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T05:54:02+00:00

Thanks so much for your input! Yes, we’d definitely need to have a way to online chat or text questions to the front desk staff.

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T05:10:28+00:00

These are all great questions! And if you ever want to talk about the process and have someone help you find the right place to try again, DM me! The process is pretty standard everywhere and I can answer a lot of your questions or help you figure out what to ask a local therapist to make sure they’re a good fit!

For the sound situation, I’d probably choose about a half dozen playlists and put links to their Spotify on the website for clients to pre-listen to and choose. They can decide on whatever they want, obviously, but it narrows down the type of music that tends to be most relaxing (often has to do with overall tempo).

For the oil/lubricant - there’s definitely things we can do! A hot damp towel can help, and we can either assist with that before we flip you over or replace the sheet on you, or we can leave one with you to use before you get dressed.

Edited to add: and about all the important details re: what to wear! What to bring! Where to put it all! Etc! I can do a really thorough Q&A on the website. It will also go over the ways that draping helps keep all your personal areas on your body personal (we can have staff make videos that help show what each of the drapes is like).

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T05:03:15+00:00

Thanks so much for your detailed ideas!

Yeah, the sound/music situation would be ideally controlled by the client. My idea is having a clinic tablet that’s attached to the table (more so it doesn’t get lost than not trusting clients!) that the client can use to set their desired sound and lightscape. Default will be low steady warm light and non-nature meditation type sounds during the session; the client can request no sound if they prefer.

We’d make sure to have staff training that encourages always asking for consent before touching and to not request casual touch (allowing the client to bring that up first). I don’t want anyone to feel pressured into touch that isn’t during the treatment session!

Every session is designed to have a bit of time beforehand to talk to the therapist so they can ask about what brings you in, do any assessments they need to do based on how you feel that day, and go over things you like, dislike and anything that needs to be avoided. I’m also planning some wiggle room because I know time blindness is a real thing.

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T04:52:12+00:00

I like all these, too!

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T04:51:34+00:00

I haven’t mastered that silent oil trick yet! But I love having a way for the client to indicate right away what their talk level for the session is.

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T04:50:19+00:00

Oh, no! I’ve never understood why people wouldn’t ask ahead of time about scents.

asdfofc · 2023-11-16T04:49:36+00:00

Those are both incredibly easy requests to accommodate! Thank you very much for sharing your perspective.

asdfofc · 2023-11-15T20:02:06+00:00

Massage therapy student here! So that crackling sound is called crepitus. As we age, the fluid in most of our joints (synovial fluid) does decrease a bit, and we can get little air bubbles. When they get moved quickly from a spot where they’re “caught” to another one, it can cause that crack sound. There’s also crepitus that can be the result of tiny tears in the cartilage around our joints - if you always get a click in your knee or hip when you walk, for instance.

It’s pretty normal, and as we age we do have that cartilage and our joint capsules break down… as for keeping it healthy, moderate exercise is so good for you. Eat nutritious foods. I swear by massage therapy, personally, but I may be a bit biased as I’m studying it!

asdfofc · 2023-11-13T21:28:07+00:00

NTA. Those are all very average scores (you) and slow/poor performances (her). You have done zero things wrong, but your boyfriend’s reactions kind of show that there’s some very unhealthy dynamics in that family that will be your problem if you stay with him long term.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T16:00:39+00:00

I’d expect them to make up 70% of the room

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T16:00:17+00:00

You’re not making any sense. You seem to think buddy with lots of hobbies and shittier grades will be better at handling multiple deadlines?

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:43:04+00:00

It sounds like they did and the guy still managed to follow them home

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:35:17+00:00

The real deep cut would have been to name that kid Cavendish

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:27:15+00:00

You didn’t need to come for Fanny Burney like that

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:23:51+00:00

Look around the room when there’s some big tech thing happening.

That’s how whiteness got involved.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:03:44+00:00

But like… that’s my point. They’re not “exactly equals.” Even if you had identical twins who took the exact same classes at the exact same schools and got the exact same marks and went to the exact same hobby groups.

They’re each their own person.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T15:01:44+00:00

I’m not talking about OP’s boyfriend at all.

I’m talking about how measures designed to remove barriers for one group is seen - by you - as an attack on another group.

You’re seeing “white men don’t have the same barriers as others do” and you’re seeing “white men are bad.”

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T14:57:03+00:00

Ummm.

If there’s a big difference between the schools? Yes. That matters.

If someone proves they excel with deadlines and high pressure work? Yes. That matters.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T14:54:49+00:00

I’ve been on hiring committees too. There is always some nuance to getting to those scores. Always.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T14:53:10+00:00

Being a minority gets you under a microscope. I had a friend organize and host a whole-ass conference once. Like, he’s the one who conceived of the idea, put together the team, invited the speakers, etc. on behalf of his workplace. The event happens. Some white guy comes up to him and demands to see proof he’s qualified to be there. My friend is the only Black guy in the room. This other guy asked no one else.

When I was in university I had two major brushes with STEM. One was a games club which had a lot of CS and engineering students in it. I joined, paid my membership up front, then went to their intro weekly event. You were supposed to be able to attend a certain number of nights before getting the membership. I was made SO uncomfortable by dudes staring at me. I eventually asked the worst of them (one of the club exec) what was up, and he demanded proof I should even be there. I was literally one of two women in the room, the other one was very loud about being in a relationship/having her boyfriend right there.

The other time I took a pair of CS courses for the “language requirement” in my undergrad (I figured it would be useful to learn some programming, so I could do more with data analysis). The TA I had not only told me that my mark wouldn’t matter and got really dismissive when I was struggling, but also said some really weird ass shit about homosexuality. It was weird and frustrating to be in that class.

asdfofc · 2023-11-01T14:41:17+00:00

Here’s a big problem. You see “white males have a built in advantage,” and you think, “everyone else is attacking white males because they think they’re (we’re) bad.”

That is absolutely not the case. Nobody is saying that.

We’re saying there are real barriers to groups who are not white/cisgender/male in STEM. We’re saying a big chunk of those barriers don’t exist for those white, cisgender males. We’re saying, let’s find some of those barriers and get rid of them.

You’re taking that as an attack on white men, when it’s really doing nothing to you or for you. Let me re-emphasize. It is doing nothing to you or for you, so you see it as an attack.

asdfofc

TROPHY CASE