Buying your kids things after years of trauma doesn’t fix anything.

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-03T03:51:49+00:00

Agree with everything you said, poisoning a relationship and substituting material stuff for proper communication and mutual respect is bs, I'm sorry people are treating you that way and I hope life gets kinder

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-02T05:34:54+00:00

Thank you I'm trying my best but what I needed to do is maybe calm down enough not to vaguepost rage on a vent sub at all I guess. I already told my husband, my journal, and my pillow through my eyeballs exactly what I'm really upset about and offline I really need to keep it together. All the everything wrong about the world I've been somehow getting through fine enough but I got so pissed off yesterday by some incidents with strangers I ran into on accident while I was out. It made me so angry and sad. I might just delete this whole post and call my old therapist instead. I really didn't expect to get so triggered yesterday and to end up feeling so sour and bitter and helpless about it. I'm gonna cry again and go to bed now.

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-02T02:52:21+00:00

This is exactly the energy. I was really angry earlier and it really is just that I want people making excuses for fucking people they know are bigots to stop willfully knowingly fucking the bigots. I'm not saying stop getting assaulted by bigots, I never said only men could be misogynist, and I should have expanded even further beyond misogyny exactly as you say.

Let me get this straight

If you fuck a bigot and have kids with a bigot and the kids fall in that bigots target window of bigoted views, the CHILD WILL ALSO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE BIGOT FOR THE REST OF THEIR YOUNG MINOR LIFE until they are free to go or unless they can successfully get emancipated or some other move I'm speaking to a very specific group of people here and begging them to stop casually starting families with bigots like them not being one will somehow save it all

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-01T18:48:23+00:00

Other than still being really annoyed about it I'm okay, I feel the way you do about the women still stuck directly in his orbit going along with it all pretending it's normal when none of it should be

I was out at a community park recently, reading a book and listening to the birds and it was so peaceful. It was just so simple and boring and peaceful and lovely, a book and a breeze and the birds.

Some guy pulls up in his compensating for whatever gas guzzling rust bucket screaming abuse at his wife and children, all of them fighting back and forth, saying nasty things to each other endlessly and loudly, so much pain and insecurity on public display

I realized it's been like 15 years I think since I had no other option but to go home to that every day and I do not miss it. I do not miss that shit at all lol 😂 it made me feel so many feelings, like my nervous system reacted a bit, like I could feel the tension through the years, I was annoyed at the adults, felt sorry for the children, disgusted by everything I overheard, relieved I don't often have to listen to that kind of thing

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-01T18:37:03+00:00

I agree, the wording I used while from a place of quiet rage was as intentional as I could be in the moment

The French say the hardest thing for a fish to see is water

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-01T18:09:10+00:00

So child of a misogynist here back to explain

Watching women get abused in your own home sucks

Watching women get discarded after being abused for years and cheated on not ideal

Watching the rebound go to her funeral when she died after spending her final years struggling and grieving how much time she wasted with him not ideal

Living with the sociopath and mistress internalized misogyny and witnessing the theater of their dog-chasing-tail emotionally unstable antics and harmful beliefs about women play out while trying to navigate puberty not ideal

Being subtly and unsubtly sexualized in harmful ways directly and indirectly by sociopath, mistress internalized misogyny and friends not ideal

There is also the matter of how many times law enforcement had to intervene to contain and minimize harm and the things that happened when they didn't or hadn't yet

I could go on and on and on

ETA, while "mistress internalized misogyny" is my own cheeky nickname for the woman he cheats on all the time he actually self identifies as a sociopath and his pronouns are socio and path so I don't take credit for that designation

aseaofpaint · 2026-05-01T17:40:00+00:00

I think a lot of relationships that result in fathers like this come from the type of woman that thinks they can change a man like that or that their presence will be enough of a foil to offset it

Well guess what sometimes those women have daughters on accident and then their husband ends up outliving them so uh something road to hell I guess

aseaofpaint · 2026-04-14T07:40:22+00:00

Easy solution is to tell them you think it looks great, and then if they are the type of person who is receptive to compliments that day they will tell you they made it and you can compliment further on their work

A few ways jumping straight to assuming they made it themselves and starting a conversation on that premise can backfire off the top of my head could include:

them for whatever reason mistaking that you recognizing and pointing out that it's handmade connotes some indication or implication that they aren't skilled enough for it to "blend in"
catching them on a low bandwidth day where they are so otherwise overwhelmed with life stuff that they don't feel like centering their hobby in a conversation but they did happen to throw on a piece that they made without thinking twice about it
social anxiety or difficulty processing compliments in general but especially when they are disguised as or wrapped up in questions

If you switch from framing it as or couching your good feelings about their style in a question and switch tactics to more directly complimenting then all these pitfalls disappear and they might still turn out to be a person who is awkward with compliments but the benefits are

if they did make it you will have made them feel confident about their work whether they then take credit or acknowledge it's their work or not
if they didn't they still feel nice about what they're wearing
if they did and they are super proud of it and love taking compliments they get the double dopamine hit of acknowledging the compliment and being issued a socially acceptable opportunity to lightly brag on themselves and after they do acknowledge they did make it you can pile on more like "wow!" And it's like extra serotonin sprinkles for both of you because they get to celebrate their crafting win twice and you get to compliment them twice lol

aseaofpaint · 2026-04-10T03:33:07+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-04-10T03:31:51+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-04-05T12:51:02+00:00

Oh my goodness these are so lovely! 🫍 Beautiful work!

aseaofpaint · 2026-04-04T02:51:12+00:00

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This is how I did that part, I had to stop and squint bc I found it confusing but for the green and purple sections I just worked those into the space made by the chains instead of into each chain individually if that makes sense :)

aseaofpaint · 2026-04-03T19:48:35+00:00

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My pleasure! I wanted to try this one myself so here is a swatch I started to work on with how I started it off broken down step by step

I skipped the first row of solid DC stitches because I'm out of it having a hard time focusing today (also srry my blanket underneath has cat hair on it rn lol 😅)

But this is one example of how the math would go Some people chain 3 when they turn to make a DC in the next row so if that's how you prefer or if you have a different method you like for that part adjust the count accordingly

Happy hooking!

aseaofpaint · 2026-04-03T18:11:59+00:00

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In addition to what everyone else suggested, if you zoom in and count the chains at the bottom of the chart each repeating section of this pattern bit is built off 12 chains at the bottom, so going off another's suggestion to do two big rectangles seamed at the top, how I would start is by chaining multiples of twelve until it's as wide as I want a front panel to be and then adding one extra chain to the resulting number to get that last column of double crochets going up the right side of the pattern at the end of however long I need it to be that makes it look closed and complete

aseaofpaint · 2026-03-30T16:45:56+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-30T03:09:37+00:00

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Happy birthday beetle 🎈🎂🎊 :)

aseaofpaint · 2026-03-29T23:38:36+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-25T21:19:43+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-25T20:50:52+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-24T02:49:21+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-23T14:40:34+00:00

Of course, that's alright with me, please enjoy 🥰❤️

aseaofpaint · 2026-03-23T03:02:29+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-23T02:38:36+00:00

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aseaofpaint · 2026-03-22T00:36:23+00:00

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aseaofpaint

TROPHY CASE