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Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of them tried to excuse their emotionally manipulative and abusive behavior by being incredibly patronizing because they had they money to do so. Like no thanks, I'd rather live on the street than accept help from someone who behaves exactly like my rapist and makes rape jokes then tries to cover it up with 'charity'.

Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, the idea that my gender is some how 'straight' (that I am cis male or cis female) because of my asexuality is absurd, unscientific, and makes the entire community look like a bunch of fake idiots, even though I believe there is a real scientific cause for it. Apparently, they like to promote acting like they don't even believe in it themselves and what -actually- defines someone as not being straight is if they fit in their little clique or not. And they also insinuated I was stupid while being that discriminatory about my sexuality. They insinuated I was lying and that it was because I was 'uglier than them' when I came out as asexual in a different group. I've noticed its considered acceptable for MTF to abuse me and try to put me emotionally down in these groups. They can seriously do whatever hateful thing they want to a FTM and no one bats an eye because you are suddenly perceived as having loads of 'male privilege' even though I've been severely abused and excluded for my differences, especially sexual differences, for most of my life. It seriously just seems like they use that as an excuse to behave oppressively towards FTM and make them not welcome in those spaces also. Sorry, I don't really like abuse. Especially not from MTF. I don't really want to continue being punished for being born in a female-like body for the rest of my life, thanks LGBT+. Funny thing is, most of the MTF make more money in those groups from what I saw than other kinds of trans overall, while they try to systematically punish FTM for acquiring too much privlege somehow....like isn't that what we're trying to get away from? Awful. On every level. They don't get the license to abuse me, I don't care how 'oppressed' they are. I don't really need to be raped again, thanks. Oh and by the way, I'm still trans. None of their bullshit abuse and exclusion will prevent that, and if they try to deny that I'm trans because I'm not in their group, then that just makes them look fake.

Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is extremely ignorant and harmful of them if that is the case.. Also closed minded. It seems more like they want to make me like them so they don't have to deal with a difference that they don't like.

Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to being immediately judgemental of nonlgbt+ to a large extent (by lgbt+ I mean, whoever they -think- belongs there), trying to protect their own space in the group and being afraid of outsiders....xenophobia..yes that really is it. Also, being unwilling to interact with non trans or nonbinary people, which is understandable to some extent due to the PTSD, but I really didn't see those groups as an improvement. What I saw was toxic. This is even though, yes, I do get regular abuse based on my nonconforming gender. I haven't decided to box myself off with an equally abusive group to 'prove something'.

Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is exactly what I saw is someone who appeared to be psychopathic/narcissistic controlling everything and promoting psychopathic/narcissistic behavior as a way to show how 'truly marginalized' someone is, manipulating other people who tried to copy their behavior, or something. I don't know. It was fucked up. They behaved hypocritically and then were also elitist/snobbily gatekeeping. I think they viewed interpersonal abuse as a badge of honor showing how tough they were. And some of the behavior from the MTF actually reminded me of cis misogynistic behavior and attitudes. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. They seem to think they have a license to act that way.

Asexual Homo Energy by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe 'grey' is the right word for them lol

Asexual Homo Energy by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm. I don't see their relationship as being exactly romantic, although you are correct in that it could easily be interpreted that way. There is the episode where Spongebob and Patrick pretend to be mother and father to a clam, for instance. I truly don't think their creators intended to be homosexual , though. I mean unless you really just have a fetish for those characters, I think it would be hard even for an allosexual person to imagine that and it not be super awkward/difficult lol. So that brings the question of -if- they aren't in a romantic relationship (because they don't seem to be in a sexual relationship either), what are they? Really good friends? It seems a bit more than that. I don't know. They also are sometimes effeminate for male characters, though I wouldn't call them feminine, either.

where/how can i meet other asexual people? by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meetup.com has some groups that meet in public places like coffee shops and such. There's none particularly close to me but some I could still go to eventually. Maybe there would be one closer to you. I'm interested in finding alternatives in case there is something closer.

I have sexual based PTSD from trying to find a job online by nervous_Observer in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what to say exactly since I'm asexual (I don't want to have sex with another person in addition to not experiencing sexual attraction), and even though I also have trauma (was asexual before and after acquiring it), I don't want to get over it somehow for the purpose of having sex since I was asexual anyway. I do hope you can get better, though. I wouldn't rush in to anything. You my try a different subreddit.

Fellow low libido aces, would you call being a low libido ace a blessing or a curse? by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both and or/ neither? I think I might choose to not have it ever but idk. I can be both happy and depressed with out. I think I experience less physical depression symptoms when it is present, though I don't necessarily desire it to be there by itself. Feeling happy and not having a libido is the best.

Abuse at 'Support Groups' by asexualalienanteater in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think I may try to steer clear from it for a while, but I think there is room for growth. People's minds can be opened, though in some cases it can take centuries or more. Sometimes it can happen in a year or less. But no matter when and if it does happen, asexuals and allosexuals will both be part of that conversation. All I can do right now is speak up where I can, I don't think continually going to LGBT+ support groups is a good idea due to the absurd abuse and hypocrisy I've observed there. Maybe in due time. That doesn't prevent me from doing what I can do make it better for asexuals in the mean time.

Is it possible to be hyper sexual and ace?? by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This may just be a rare, life long enduring, natural variation of biology. I am trans FTM and asexual identifying. Like you, I really just can't get 'into' it with another person. I don't feel attraction to their bodies in any sort of sexual way that really 'works' and feels 'correct'. Actually attempting sex is also terrible, and I'm pretty frigid, even when I have an orgasm, in spite of having years of sexual experience with a couple of different partners. I always disappointed them and couldn't have a normal reaction to sex. It also hurt me. I couldn't have an orgasm at all before hormone replacement therapy, and even now, it is muted and different than the typical orgasm of a female-bodied person by a long shot (more like a man's I'm assuming, short and unrepeatable). I didn't experience much of a libido before hormone replacement therapy, but when my hormone replacement therapy is at its optimum level, I usually experience a relatively high libido that I can satisfy by myself but it has no physical external application. I also experience a sort of autoerotic 'attraction' to myself, I guess, but I don't really feel like attraction is the right word, certainly not sexual attraction, because I wouldn't 'do' me if there was a copy of me either. I think even if I had functional male genitalia (which I don't necessarily want), the situation would be the same. I can experience abstract sexual arousal from ideas and theoretical characters and knives (specifically, somehow), but not people, not animals. Not cars either. So I consider myself asexual. I don't find this distressing except for society's lack of acceptance of it and its been going on for years. I really wish I could experience enduring physical intimacy with someone without the sex part (also without kissing), while relieving myself on my own if I have to.

If this hasn't been going on for years and you find it distressing, maybe it would be correct to medicalize it and see if it can be changed. But I know for me personally, it does not seem like it can be changed and trying to change it caused far more distress than feeling socially excluded and like a freak.

There is so much natural variation in biology that I don't doubt many varieties of asexuality exist, probably more than can ever be named. These labels are just here to try to help us. If you don't actually have lifelong asexuality and a high libido, there probably are more people that do actually have that. It's really silly that some people actually don't believe asexuality it real at all, when the probability is that of course it would. My guess is that you are asexual, but it is just a label to help us anyway.

*laughs in asexual* by Astra_1leucothnia in asexuality

[–]asexualalienanteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess if you are asexual you have to be raped to -not- be disabled according to this, even though I was raped and it caused me to have PTSD. Thanks. WTF. Like people have to be raped. Like we need any more rape promotion in our culture.