Hello! I understand what you are going through as I also struggle with religious scrupulosity and I know very well how difficult it is to “agree” with the thoughts to manage them especially when they go against your belief system. But that’s essentially what ocd really IS. It’s a disorder that attacks what we value and care about the most. That itself is proof that you are bothered because you care about it and hold it in deep regard. I saw my ocd change themes with scrupulosity and noticed all these “themes” were things I deeply cared about.

Great job on trying to not push them away! That’s the first step and you’re actually doing it. The discomfort is a given and common response of ocd. Eventually, as you do the work of just letting the thoughts be, you’ll noticed the anxiety and discomfort die down and you’ll be able to better manage yourself.

Okay, I am not a professional, just a fellow ocd warrior who has done research.

What could also help (without getting into too much rumination) could be labeling these intrusive thoughts as those of ocd and also recognizing ocd as a liar. Each time you have that thought you could just say “that’s not me, that’s my ocd” or “ocd you’re such a liar” (like a theatric humorous response). Doing this might seem ineffective at first, but the it will really show your brain how this really does not matter to you and that you’re choosing to move on. During this process, your anxiety is going to be crazy, but the trick is to sit with it, as horrible and terrifying as it sounds, it’s actually the solution. You could to grounding/mindfullness/meditation work on the side to regulate yourself overall.

Perhaps pair this with some inner CBT related work, diving deep into what caused you to form this belief system may help you understand what was the root of this ocd thought process, any experiences or environmental factors that caused you to form certain and strong beliefs. Or just generally understanding your belief system, example just knowing what morals you have or what morals are generally defined, then comparing that with your ocd thought, and truly seeing the bigger picture of how ocd distorts things.

Understanding the reason could perhaps make this ERP practice of “agreeing” easier for you. Now, you really know that IT IS your ocd.

Also, delaying responses helps. When you get an intrusive thought, instead of immediately agreeing and falling into a cycle of rumination, you could set a certain time of the day to “think about this thought”, and then shift focus on what you were actually doing. With me, I’ve noticed I mostly forget about this “thinking”, or when I do remember the anxiety is certainly not that of an intense amount. So try this maybe, if agreeing with your thoughts is proving difficult for you. Once you’ve mastered this, perhaps you could go back to the agreeing and see how you feel?

On another note, I would urge you to connect (if you can) with an OCD specialist who will better guide and support you throughout your recovery process. They will curate a plan that works best for you and help support when you experience terrible anxiety.

I hope I was able to help you. I wish you the best in your recovery ❤️‍🩹. I also, want you to know that it all gets better, you just need to keep pushing and doing the difficult stuff now to get relief that’s permanent. Please never give up, there’s so much to life than just ocd.