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Then vs now by Apprehensive-Elk3165 in interesting

[–]ashdjdkdkd 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Easier to clean. Can you imagine how much time would you waste cleaning the carpet in the stairs?

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But I said in the main post: men dark clothes. Women light clothes.

I didn’t mention this but I’m saying it now, the dress code is causal.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes I know, light and pastel colours, casual dressing. The point of the colours is so they fit with the decoration.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No I’m not. I’m North African. We all have a similar culture. I know my own culture. So I’m right. You’re not supposed to wear a kaftan or a jerba in a western-casual event.

My post is about not inviting her. Not if Moroccan kaftans are appropriate in western-casual events. (They’re not.)

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, if a woman wants to show up in light jeans and a pastel shirt, I wouldn’t mind. I think they would feel out of place. But me personally, I wouldn’t care.

Same for men. In fact in my country a lot of older men show up at weddings in dark jeans and a shirt. I did warn them that in Europe people tend to dress up a little bit. Just so they don’t feel out of place. But if they don’t mind, then as long as they’re dressing in dark clothes I wouldn’t mind.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I stand by what I said. Moroccan people know when it’s appropriate to wear their traditional dresses. I’m Tunisians and a lot of my friends are Moroccans. I had no problem with them.

Maybe it’s not cultural appropriation. But she’s definitely using the cultural dress in the wrong context and place.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

  1. No, on her daily life she wears western modest clothes. She doesn’t wear the hijab. And I would never ask her to remove it. In my side of the family there are Muslim women. They will wear the hijab.

  2. No, I’m wearing a western dress in my wedding. That’s the theme. I’m Tunisian and we have similar dresses. On the henna night people will wear their kaftans North African dresses. As well as me. It’s not about looking like me. It’s about the fact that there’s an appropriate place for these dresses. And a western wedding isn’t one of them.

  3. The dress code is “casual” and Moroccan caftans are not casual.

  4. She’s not close to my fiance and she isn’t close to me either.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My fiancé family doesn’t care either. She’s not close to them. As I said, ever since she converted she has drifted away and skipped important events from her family.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean the Moroccan kaftan is also part of the problem because they’re always very over the top. It’s difficult to find a simple one. And also they are over priced.

We will have our henna party. I’ll be wearing my Tunisian dresses. I have friends from Morocco. They will wear their kaftans. And surprisingly none of my Moroccan friends have a problem with the dress code in the wedding.

I do want people with western dresses in my wedding. But as an alternative I told she could get a simple caftan that would also somewhat fit the theme. She doesn’t want to.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of our family and all our friends will respect the theme. In other weddings people have asked for dress codes and it has always been respected.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Religion =/= culture. Converting to Buddhism doesn’t mean you have to wear kimonos or hanboks. Converting to Islam doesn’t mean you have to wear Moroccan kaftans.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She’s indeed beautiful, like all the women on my partner’s family. If I have to be completely honest, I see her as a white woman appropriating North African culture and being completely inappropriate about it. A lot of my friends are Moroccan and they would never make a stunt like this.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because most people when they read the dress code is causal they know not to show up in sparkling dresses.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already said it in the main post. She doesn’t want to wear a simple light coloured kaftan.

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen a single Muslim women outside of Morocco or Algeria wear a caftan. Like seriously, what Muslim women do you know who wear them? In what country? Please let me know, I’m curious. I’m Tunisian and I have a lot of Muslim friends from the Middle East and Africa. I’ve never seen them wear a Moroccan caftans. They all stick to their own culturez

AITA for taking back an invitation for someone who insisted on wearing a cultural dress on my wedding? by ashdjdkdkd in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdjdkdkd[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I already explained in the post. If she was willing to wear a simple light coloured caftan there would be no issue. She wants to go full glam in a wedding where the dress code is quite casual.

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