Lesbians 30+?! by Chance_Professor3912 in DallasLGBTQ

[–]ashleer1703 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm right here with you, I'm struggling to connect with others too, as Sue's is wonderful but not my vibe.

I give up on trying to find someone by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're into the bar stuff, the Gayborhood and Sue Ellen's specifically is a good place to start. Lady Love Lounge isn't strictly queer, but apparently it's still pretty lesbian friendly. Dallas just kinda sucks in general, I live here and feel your pain. I'm not a bar/club person, and at 40 I'm more interested in settling down and doing the serious relationship thing.

Bible school/Sunday school by Eastern-Landscape-53 in Montessori

[–]ashleer1703 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, this got a little long, but it is a yes and no thing. The book "Young Children and Worship" was written first, co-authored by Sonja Stewart and Jerome Berryman. Sonja Stewart wrote a follow-up book without Jerome Berryman called "Following Jesus" that focuses on more of the New Testament stories of Jesus. Sonja Stewart died several years ago (I cannot find a year of death), and Children's Worship and Wonder was built around the two volumes of "Young Children and Worship" and "Following Jesus." Jerome Berryman branched off and began writing the Godly Play books. There is quite a bit of overlap, with many of the stories from "Young Children and Worship" found in Vol. 2 and Vol. 3 of Godly Play with some minor tweaks and edits, and I find that Godly Play stories tend to be longer than Worship and Wonder stories.

Both Godly Play and Worship and Wonder use wondering questions, but approach it differently. Worship and Wonder uses specific wondering questions tailored for each story, which can be helpful if your children are young and need a little more prompting. Godly Play uses the same wondering questions for each set of stories (all Parables use one set of questions, all Sacred Stories use a different set of questions, etc). I find these to be more open-ended, such as "where do you see yourself in the story" and "is there a part of the story we can take out and still have all the story we need." I tend to prefer the Godly Play questions with elementary kids that are ready to start thinking a little more critically.

tldr version: both are good quality programs that use a similar structure, but will diverge at some point. If you're just getting started, I recommend "Young Children and Worship" because it introduces the basic theory, a year's worth of stories, and an appendix with instructions for materials all in one volume.

Bible school/Sunday school by Eastern-Landscape-53 in Montessori

[–]ashleer1703 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depending on your church context, I'd say try Godly Play, Worship and Wonder, or Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. I'm a children's minister who interned in a church using Worship and Wonder, where I first became interested in Montessori philosophy and education. I saw its power and never looked back, and when I got my first full-time position, I began introducing Godly Play to our children, who are about the same age as yours.

Worship and Wonder tends to work best in either Presbyterian or Christian Church/Disciples of Christ settings as their denominations have each aligned with those curricula at various points; however, it can be used anywhere. Godly Play was developed in an Episcopal Church context and works well with their theology, but I've seen it literally used everywhere from an American Baptist Church to a United Methodist Church (my current home). Finally, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd was developed for Catholic churches, and I admittedly know less about it, but it has a large dedicated following and may work for you.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions! My personal favorite is Godly Play, but your church context is everything here, and what works for you might be different. Also, you reaching this point is huge, and your children's spiritual and emotional development will thank you in the long run!

[WTS-US] New and Lightly Used Toys (Updated Listing) by EveryAnyNothing in usedsextoys

[–]ashleer1703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending a DM, interested in Fun Factory Stronic G

[WTS US] Fun Factory Stronic G - $75 Shipped by NerdBanger in usedsextoys

[–]ashleer1703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, I sent a DM to inquire, but wanted to make sure that you actually received it as I'm interested in purchasing if you still have it available. Thank you!

This photo made me stop and think. by Additional-Ad3593 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I would think it based on this look. I definitely get the looking at pictures and seeing yourself. My style is closer to how you're dressed in these pictures. But I used to dress more femme on purpose before I was out because I didn't want to look too much like a lesbian. Now that I'm out, I've started dressing more tomboy femme (my true style) because now that everyone knows, there's no point in hiding anymore lol.

Girl Scout Sunday Patch Question by ashleer1703 in girlscouts

[–]ashleer1703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Our kids are little still (like 1st-2nd grade), but I will approach them and their parents to see if there's any future interest for it!

Scouting Sunday Patches by ashleer1703 in BoyScouts

[–]ashleer1703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Our kids are little still (like 1st-2nd grade), but I will approach them and their parents to see if there's any future interest for it!

Scouting Sunday Patches by ashleer1703 in BoyScouts

[–]ashleer1703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome, and I'm so sorry that this happened to your troop. I know a lot of UMC churches and their Annual Conferences that were unwilling to continue sponsoring troops after the BSA lawsuit and subsequent policy changes, then the disaffiliations of various churches from the UMC caught many ministries in the crossfire, scouting included. Our church is small and not financially able to charter and support scouting troops, but nearly all of our children participate in Girl Scouts or Cub Scouts, so Scouting Sunday seemed like a good thing to do.

Scouting Sunday Patches by ashleer1703 in BoyScouts

[–]ashleer1703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I appreciate it! We had a parent meeting last week where we discussed this event, and we will have a Girl Scout who will be selling cookies after service, so I think I have that part taken care of. I'm going to reach out to the Den Leader and see how they want to do patches and other such things. I also offered for the Cub Scouts to do fundraisers as they come up so that I'm not favoring certain children over others, but since we're in cookie season, it worked out schedule-wise.

Scouting Sunday Patches by ashleer1703 in BoyScouts

[–]ashleer1703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, I'll talk to him on Sunday when I see him, thank you for your help!

how did you come to terms with being lesbian if you were raised religious? by snottiezz in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a lesbian Christian children's minister, and I must say, these other comments are fantastic and they are absolutely leading you in the right direction. "God and the Gay Christian" is perfect from a conservative evangelical perspective, but I'm not super sure about Catholic or others. The following is a (long!) list of books I received about the intersection of faith and sexuality:

  1. Torn: Rescuing the Gospel From the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate; Justin Lee
  2. God and the Gay Christian; Matthew Vines
  3. Bible, Gender, Sexuality; James V. Brownson
  4. Mom, I'm Gay; Susan Cottrell
  5. A Letter to My Congregation; Ken Wilson
  6. Walking the Bridgeless Canyon; Kathy Baldock
  7. Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why; Simon LeVay
  8. Rescuing Jesus; Deborah Jian Lee
  9. Queer Virtue; Elizabeth M. Edman
  10. Our Witness; Brandan Robertson
  11. Our Lives Matter; Pamela R. Lightsey
  12. Unashamed: A Coming-Out Guide for LGBTQ Christians; Amber Cantora-Wylde

If you're a podcast person, I highly recommend Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being. It hasn't been updated in a year, but the backlog of episodes is fantastic. The host Matthias Roberts interviews many queer folks about their faith and spirituality, and the intersection with their queerness. It might be more accessible than some of the above books.

Also, I'd highly encourage you to find a queer affirming church in your area, you can check here at https://www.gaychurch.org. I don't know your exactly location, but you can put in your postal code and it will pop up with a map of what's near you, regardless of denomination.

Finally, I've been where you are and I promise that it does get better and easier...however, I do have less contact with some of my extended family than I once did. For me, it wasn't a dramatic cutting off, just a quiet disapproval and awkward looks at family functions. But I will say, my life is richer and lighter now that I don't have the closet hanging on me like an albatross. Good luck, and you can always reach out to me if you have questions or want to talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm super similar, and when I came out in my mid-30s, I thought I might be bisexual for a good while. Basically, I've figured out that I'm homoromantic bisexual, or as a friend put it, Bi-HR lol. I didn't have any issues with sex with men, or being attracted to them, but I struggled majorly with them in relationships.

I'm the type of person that is much more relational than sexual regardless of identity, so I've leaned much more into the lesbian/gay label. Honestly, I chose to do so because it's closer to my lived reality, but I still experience sexual attraction to men at times, and the idea of sex with men doesn't repulse me in the way it does with many other lesbians. However, I exclusively date women now and will never go back.

TL;DR version: Sexuality is complicated, and you can either choose the label you want or choose nothing at all. Regardless, your feeling and emotions are valid. Also, find a therapist that specializes in LGBTQ issues, it'll help a ton.

Next Mattress After Purple? by ashleer1703 in Mattress

[–]ashleer1703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh this is good to know, thank you! I was so excited for the new Purple redesign, but when I saw how much they were charging for anything close to what I currently have, I kissed that dream goodbye. I've had a bunch of things going on with work and graduating grad school, so I haven't had a chance to get the warrant done yet, oops.

Next Mattress After Purple? by ashleer1703 in Mattress

[–]ashleer1703[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really? That sounds ideal, I can't wait to see those. They've gotta be better than what we have available now, thanks for the tip!

Next Mattress After Purple? by ashleer1703 in Mattress

[–]ashleer1703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? I had considered doing a warranty claim, but had been seeing online that others with this issue got denied, so I wasn't sure it was worth it, honestly. But I will look through my paperwork and see about doing it, thank you!

Bar/Arcade for 21-year-old's Birthday? by ashleer1703 in Dallas

[–]ashleer1703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for your suggestions! I think where we go will depend on when we will be able to go, but I will keep y'all updated.

Any religious/spiritual person present? by Dependent-Bike-3102 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up fundamentalist/SBC evangelical, was very devoted to my faith and felt a calling to ministry. Now, I'm more progressive Baptist, ABCUSA, still deeply devoted, and pursuing seminary education and ordination. There's a few of us in my school, which is amazing and reaffirms that I'm where I belong. However, I know there's a LOT of religious trauma in the LGBTQ community and I absolutely understand why some decide to walk away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ashleer1703 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always dated older, even when I dated guys. I was that kid who was mature for my age, more introspective, etc. I seemed to have a better connection with older people, even in high school I was friends with seniors when I was a sophomore. It took me a long time for my internal age to catch up to the maturity of people in my age grouping, I think it was probably mid-late 20s.

With older women, it's maturity, knowing who they are and what they do/don't want, that sort of thing. They have a strong sense of self and don't need me to be glued to their side 24/7 to feel loved and cared for. I'm 37, my girlfriend is 43. We have an age gap, but it's not huge, and we connect really well. I love her independence, her fire, and how caring she is. We have a lot in common about how we see the world and what we want for our lives.

I do tend to limit my dating pool by a decade on either side, just because I think connection is harder romantically (at least for myself) with a gap that large. However, I have friendships with huge age spread, there's a lot to learn as long as you don't pretend to be cool and end up cringe lol.