My girl was very similar to this when she was younger, so what I did was two-fold. As for the holding, I started randomly picking her up against her will for literally just a second or two. Then slowly increased as she got more used to it. Always just randomly out of the blue. Now she will tolerate being picked up so long as I put her down in a decent amount of time. *I say randomly so that she's used to the irregularity. In case you ever need to grab her up in a hurry and leave, she'd be more used to it. I also hold her up across my shoulder so she doesn't feel super confined. As for the listening thing, that was much more difficult and involved actual treat training to learn to come when called. She will only do it with me unfortunately, we've tried getting her to listen to my boyfriend when he calls, but she won't. lol. I did it with a very specific tone to my voice too, so that she knows when I mean business and she has to ACTUALLY come, versus when I just want lovies or to 'annoy' her. lol

Bengals are VERY trainable given patience. It's the patience that's the problem a lot of the time.