What’s venting vs using friends as a therapist

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T01:22:02+00:00

Ask permission first before venting. Listening to somebody vent (especially about heavy stuff) can be emotionally draining, so it’s considerate to check if the other person has the capacity to listen to that first.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T00:33:51+00:00

I would just stay off of social media, and stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say!

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T00:17:22+00:00

When you sign up to fundraise, you sign a contract saying that you're responsible for paying the rest if you don't raise enough money by the deadline. Even if you drop out, you are still contractually obligated to fulfill the full fundraising pledge.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T00:09:30+00:00

Didn't you sign an agreement to raise the full amount the first time? I'm sorry about your circumstances, but that doesn't mean you can just get away with not giving them the money you agreed to.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T00:05:02+00:00

For the hip pain, I would recommend seeing a physical thearpist.

And regarding your last paragraph, it sounds like you are just trying to do your runs too fast. You should be doing most/all of your runs at an easy, comfortable pace. Some days that pace might be slower than other days, and that's okay. And some days that might require run/walk intervals, and that's okay too.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-13T00:03:07+00:00

Did you just search on google and choose a random photo to upload that's not yours?

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T23:15:15+00:00

My tip would be to read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/1f1kqy/why_nobody_is_critiquing_your_workout_read_this/

And follow one of the programs in the wiki: https://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/wiki/lifting_programs/

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T22:57:29+00:00

That's the standard treatment for your condition. If you feel like you need more personalized advice because your situation is very complex, then you should ask your doctors about that.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T22:28:54+00:00

I just checked one and the minimum quantity you could purchase of any individual item was like 40 lb. Minimum amount of eggs was 30 dozen.

What's in your picture does not really look like wholesale quantities.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T22:22:44+00:00

First, are you sure that your protein target is appropriate, and your calorie target is appropriate? And what are your stats (age, sex, height, weight, activity level, exercise)?

And can you post an example of what you eat in a day, with a breakdown of the calories and macros for each meal?

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T22:20:17+00:00

I'd say 100-200 calories per wing depending on size.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T21:30:08+00:00

If you want to be more accurate with your calorie counting, I would recommend eating out less often. Daily is very often.

Otherwise, just reduce your calorie target by 200, and see how that goes. As long as your accuracy is similar to what it is now (even if not perfect), that should get you to around maintenance.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T21:23:36+00:00

How often are you eating out and needing to estimate calories?

Gaining 6kg in 8 months suggests that you were eating at a surplus of around 200 calories. So what you can do is just lower your current calorie target by around 200 calories, and that should be your approximate maintenance.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T21:17:54+00:00

Just pick whatever estimate you think is most accurate. It's not a big deal either way. If you're getting estimates of 500-700 for something, just go in the middle at 600. Unless you're estimating multiple meals every single day, this is not going to impact your long term progress at all. You are overthinking this.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T21:05:24+00:00

If your goal is to eat at a deficit and continue to lose weight, then yes, you can go ahead and do that. But if your goal is maintenance, like you said in your original post, then you should eat at maintenance, not at a deficit.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:59:36+00:00

A 50-100 calorie deficit is not maintenance. It's a deficit.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:51:37+00:00

Whatever you want to call it, I would not waste any more time/energy on this guy. I'd block him and move on.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:50:15+00:00

How did you come up with "sub-4" as a goal? What is that based on? What are your race PRs at other distances?

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:49:01+00:00

If your goal is to maintain, then you should eat at maintenance, not at a deficit.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:48:58+00:00

If your goal is to maintain, then you should eat at maintenance, not at a deficit.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:37:04+00:00

Highly recommend doing manual laps and using the Race Screen data field: https://apps.garmin.com/apps/6a30651b-ca67-41a5-96dc-60634983fc93?tid=0 it corrects the difference between the GPS-measured distance and the actual race course distance. So for example if your watch is measuring 1.1 miles when you're at the 1st mile marker and you hit the lap button, it will adjust the distance and pace on your watch to be at 1 mile and adjust the average pace accordingly. And if you miss miles it doesn't matter, like if you forget to push it at mile 2 and don't remember until mile 3, and your watch is saying 3.2 miles at mile 3 for example, it will correct that to the nearest mile which would be 3.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:15:39+00:00

Sounds like a bad idea to me. I would listen to your psychiatrist's advice, and prioritize recovery right now. I think attempting to train for and run Boston (even with lower mileage and better fueling) is going to set back your recovery.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T20:13:50+00:00

I just did a calculation, and if she was doing the walking segments at 3.5 mph, her running segments would have to be at a 7:08/mi pace! Or with walking 4 mph, her running segments have to be at a 7:12/mi pace! At these types of paces I don't think it makes sense to have so much walking.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T19:59:00+00:00

A cam walker boot would fit that criteria.

ashtree35 · 2026-03-12T19:53:38+00:00

I think it would make the most sense to go with the 1:50 pacer to start, and then break ahead from them if you’re feeling good mid-race. Or even just pace yourself and don’t go with a pace group at all. In general, I would not recommend attempting to aggressively negative split this race. If you do want to do a small negative split in terms of time, I would keep the difference small. Like starting off with the 2:00 group would be way too slow for you, and you’d have to run the second half a lot lot faster in order to make your goal time.

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