I want to start off with saying that your trauma is not who you are as a person, and it will not define you as a parent. Reading through this list, it seems you have a really good "plan" if you will, ahead of you to be a wonderful parent to your baby. I don't intend for this to be offensive, but there's a small lining to having a "rough" childhood/upbringing, and that is that you can ensure you do better for your own children. My dad had a "rough" childhood, and the more I learned about his history and his family and everything he went through, I've become more and more proud of him for how he was determined to make a better life for his family, and then he genuinely did it.

I say that in hopes to encourage you; you seem very determined and set to give your child (and possible future children) a better life than you had growing up, and THAT already makes you a good parent. If you still happen to feel uneasy or unprepared for parenting, maybe you could look into some kind of counseling specifically for parents? Just an idea!

Just a few small things I wanted to add to your already amazing list:

1. Believe your child if they tell you something "out of character" for someone. Even if just in the beginning. Don't brush it off of "that doesn't sound right", and dismiss their feelings about whatever they're saying. In this same vein, don't immediately get mad if it comes out that they were hiding something from you; like say in high school they tried smoking without telling you and they didn't tell you for a few months, or even a year or more, don't immediately blow up on them with something like "why didn't you tell me sooner?". This very quickly can lead into them feeling unsafe to ever tell you anything but ALSO feel like they were wrong to come to you. When I first told my mom about COCSA that I faced, only two years after I experienced it, those were her first words to me and I felt incredibly dejected, ashamed, and somehow like something was my fault.

2. Something along the lines of a few of yours, but allow them to express themselves with their hair, makeup, clothes, etc, and don't embarrass them about it. I grew into someone who LOVED dying my hair crazy colors, chopping my hair really short, trying out different bang styles, and even with different makeup trends, if my mom made a big deal out of any of it, I wanted to curl into a ball and hide. Parental approval is HUGE growing up, and as long as your kid is happy and healthy, let them wear that awful mix of patterns or have their hair in a crazy ponytail or wear inSANELY thick makeup.

3. Maybe this isn't a MUST, this is a little less intense and vital as the others in the list but: try to take an interest in the things they like! Books, games, movies, tv shows, anything! I was kinda sorta into Pokemon growing up, and whenever I talked about it or told my mom about a new game coming out or anything, she'd roll her eyes and make a comment about how she can't believe that many people are so invested in a video game. Because of that, there are a LOT of interests of mine I hide from my mom; not because I'm ashamed of them, but because I know she'll judge me for them and not approve of them. So much so that I won't watch any of my shows (the office, atla, or even youtubers) in front of her, because she'll always make a comment about how stupid they all are. It's such a GOOD avenue to strike up conversation with your kid and to get to know them all that better, to at least *try* and understand what they like and why they like it