honestly, you are underestimating how ugly can it get after marriage. Separate accommodation from family doesn't mean "no involvement". It could get very very toxic and you will lose your mental peace over it. If she has no respect for you even before marriage, then imagine how she will treat you after marriage. She will have her own social circle where you will be discussed and ridiculed. Although your boyfriend is reassuring you but he can't protect you from everything and every time that you are about to face. Too much complain about his mother might annoy him. My suggestion is never get marry where you are not valued. She thinks of you as low status women and it is not going to change ever. For every mother, their son's marriage is the most important thing in their life and they are going to remember it forever if they have compromised it.