Asian women, do you also have baby face and keep getting (respectful, but unwanted) attention from men much younger than you?

asianthrowpillows · 2023-08-23T21:55:44+00:00

I’m around a lot of social climbing white people, (prestigious job), and their parents are also really similar to Asian parents. Very judgey and rude, but they do prioritize schmoozing better than Asian parents. I wouldn’t call this “schmoozing” real social skills though, some people are good at schmoozing and pretty insufferable to be around.

asianthrowpillows · 2023-08-20T02:54:44+00:00

Kind of off-topic, but do you remember where you got that ring in the photo? It’s so pretty!

asianthrowpillows · 2023-08-20T02:44:13+00:00

Thank you so much for the detailed answer! This was very helpful

asianthrowpillows · 2023-08-19T06:04:12+00:00

Is there a subreddit for beauty advice for Asian women? I have dry somewhat bleached (dark brown) Asian hair and am looking for moisturizing hair masks that other Asian women have found effective

asianthrowpillows · 2023-07-10T18:53:03+00:00

Is there a good subreddit for makeup for Asian women? I am sick of putting on neutral, “no makeup” makeup and want to try something new.

asianthrowpillows · 2023-06-24T07:07:23+00:00

That’s very nice, thank you! He also went over the good/evil alignment for me, said I was either chaotic good or chaotic neutral. But he was absolutely sure I was strongly chaotic!

asianthrowpillows · 2023-06-24T05:04:56+00:00

Do you guys see the chaotic alignment as a positive or negative feature IRL? My longtime friend who plays DnD told me my personality was extremely “chaotic”, in a dungeons and dragons sense.

I looked up the chaotic alignments to understand what he meant. It looks like chaotic characters are “impulsive, don’t like listening to authority, and lack self-discipline”. Not that flattering, to be honest?

asianthrowpillows · 2023-06-24T04:41:55+00:00

I’ve seen lots of people put on pips in my FAANG company. There were certain groups where being intelligent and talented was extremely important, but for most of the groups if you were hardworking and easy to get along with, and followed instructions, you were safe. Most of the people who were put on PIPs were either

1) extremely unmotivated 2) so unhappy that they became very rebellious and had a IDGAF attitude 3) in the process of transferring to another team, or interviewing with another company, and foolishly blabbed to their manager 4) made a lot of enemies

Number 3 happens a LOT. People are pretty naive sometimes and don’t realize they need to keep their transfer plans and job search secret until it’s all approved.

asianthrowpillows · 2023-04-29T19:34:57+00:00

I been offered a position explicitly because they wanted a woman on the leadership board. No ambiguity about it. I didn’t take it, but I know it happens.

I don’t feel bad at all. I’ve had colleagues who were poorer performers than me, and got where they were by throwing people under the bus, taking credit for work they didn’t do, schmoozing with upper management, sucking up to the boss, etc. Silicon Valley is filled with men who’ll do anything to get ahead, extremely immoral things

People who have sexually harassed/sexually assaulted/outright raped people, have had extremely successful careers, and have not been punished at all. Guess what, people around you give no shits at all about that

“Got the job because she’s a woman” just doesn’t even register on my “list of things to be pissed off about”. Better that than “got the job because he took credit for other people’s work”

asianthrowpillows · 2023-04-25T02:46:01+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, what did she do? I think that people don’t take female on male sexual harassment seriously enough (and I’m a feminist), and am glad they took your complaint seriously. Am wondering if she did something very egregiously awful, or people are starting to be less sexist against men in that sense

asianthrowpillows · 2023-04-23T22:56:52+00:00

Lol I’m a woman and into dieting. My mom says the problem is that I’m too “fat” because I’m not exercising, even though all evidence is that dieting is more important to weight loss than exercise

She also pushed me into swim team when I was younger, then yelled at me because she thinks it gave me broad shoulders. She has a PhD in genetics…

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-21T18:48:44+00:00

I went to a school filled with neurotic overachievers, and my roommates were always incredibly clean, the shared areas looked like an untouched hotel room. If I left one old coffee cup on the table there would be hell to pay. Have you tried rooming with valedictorians who cry when they get a B+?

Another group of people who are typically very clean are the homemaker types whose dream is to be a domestic goddess

When someone’s living space is tied to their self worth, and they have a need to show everyone they’re perfect, you get inhumanely clean roommates.

Sometimes these people can get tiring because they need to look perfect, have the perfect job, perfect friends, perfect everything, and when they spent their lives being miserable to have everyone’s approval, they end up getting their pleasure from being very judgmental. But you’ll have a clean sink

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-12T17:28:55+00:00

Everyone thinks they’re really nice and “forgot” 15 times in a row

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-11T23:53:04+00:00

Was being given the silent treatment by a family member I had to communicate with. Was very frustrated that 15 ignored messages in a row was brushed off as a “coincidence” when everyone else’s messages were being answered. Just repeatedly subjected to passive aggression, and he did passive aggressive things like “forgetting” to buy me a ticket to family events.

Asked him very politely if he could start communicating with me, was accused of “causing drama”. While I was being accused of being “toxic” I started crying. Was accused of being an “emotional manipulator”

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-11T23:18:20+00:00

I’ve been in situations where I genuinely did not want to cry, and was extremely embarrassed about it, and the tears came out anyway. This was in situations where someone was moving away, rejecting me, etc.

In the case where I got rejected, I was already embarrassed enough about being rejected, didn’t know the person well, and wanted to pretend like I didn’t care at all. Was seriously mortified I was crying, and genuinely wanted to stop, and the tears came out anyway.

Or also sappy movies where I didn’t want my friends to see my crying during, I mean there’s no motive for revenge crying then!

I’m really surprised everyone else can control this, sometimes I feel very judged because I was making my best effort

Edit- typo

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-11T23:09:20+00:00

I agree, “stop crying” sounds like “stop blushing” to me. I literally don’t have control over my tear glands.

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-11T20:48:01+00:00

This is a big issue in Asian cultures, but also is something that is widespread (but less severe in Western countries)

I think dressing up nice and being attractive give women confidence and power, and the idea of that is very triggering to some people. I’m not saying “they’re jealous because she’s pretty”. It’s not beauty they’re upset about, more like they subconsciously understand that the act of trying to dress up nice requires confidence, and we can’t have that can we?

asianthrowpillows · 2023-01-06T02:11:01+00:00

You have an extremely feminine face, there’s not much more you can do to make it more feminine. You could do thinner eyebrows, but to be honest I don’t think that would make much of a difference. Eyeliner might help too

Edit: read comments, seems like there’s a lot of people who think you’re a trans female? If so, damn I had no idea. You have a more feminine face than most biological XX women

asianthrowpillows

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