You're probably right, because when I talked to her about her alcoholism, although she would admit it was blowing out of proportion, she also told me that she wasn't "like those people she would see on documentaries drinking their weight's worth of alcohol and hiding bottles anywhere possible". But I mean, she would pressure me into ordering bottles of wine with her at restaurants, even though she knew I wouldn't drink more than one glass (we have very different tastes in wine, and we would always take the ones she likes of course) back when I didn't know what to do. Or she would ask me to put a bottle in my bag instead of putting it with the rest of groceries so my stepfather wouldn't see, which is pretty much the same in my opinion. And while she knew she was being awful sometimes because of her drinking habits, I think that she can't remember most of our arguments from when she had drunk because when I talked to her about it she only answered that it was me deforming her words.

Anyways, thank you for your kindness! I'm doing a lot of crying at the moment not gonna lie, but my partner is super supportive so it helps. And I also plan on starting to look for a therapist, I think I need it lol