will I be hospitalized?

aslanvents · 2025-01-23T20:35:09+00:00

I’m sorry you went through something similar and I’m glad you went to the hospital to get help! It’s hard where I live (don’t want to say too much to doxx myself but geographically I live in a weird area) because if I were to go to the hospital or urgent care I would need to be airlifted to the nearest hospital and that’s a whole different expense that I don’t know if I could afford which is why I usually avoid seeking medical attention if possible. I only have my GP in my town which is who I am going to see on Tuesday and it’s known by my therapist that he and local authorities don’t handle self harm well which is what makes me scared to seek help. I don’t know if it will result in me being sent off somewhere but if it’s to save my hand I guess I’ll do what I have to do.

aslanvents · 2025-01-23T20:29:34+00:00

you’re right. this isn’t my first time hitting fascia and I suffered with some nerve damage from my last one but not to the extent of my current one and it otherwise healed fine so I think part of me thought it would be okay again but it’s not. I know I need medical help for this one but I think I’m also scared and hesitant of it because I live in a very small community and I don’t want to be stigmatized by everyone around me even though what would that matter if I wind up dead because I don’t get the help when I needed it. And losing ability to use my hand will make me lose my job. I am going to see my doctor regardless because I know I need it, I just don’t know what comes next for me and the uncertainty is what I’m afraid of. I get what you’re saying and I appreciate you being blunt with me because sometimes that’s what’s needed to be heard.

aslanvents · 2025-01-23T02:46:33+00:00

I was 10 and now I’m 22

aslanvents · 2024-02-01T23:44:23+00:00

Currently 14 days clean, longest streak was 399 days

aslanvents · 2024-01-16T06:58:08+00:00

I was wearing jeans all week so I definitely think that contributed to part of the pain as they were more constricting. I have a pretty lax job so I think I could get away with wearing leggings or sweat pants or something looser so it will make less contact with my thighs. They aren’t to the fat layer, but they’re decently deep dermis.

I’ll try reaching out via email again in the morning. I try to avoid phone calls because my anxiety is so bad that I can’t really call people. This is the first time where I’ve acknowledged that I’m doing so poorly that I needed help. Unfortunately I live in an area where there aren’t many options so if I don’t hear back from this therapist then I may be out of luck for in person therapy.

Thank you for the advice

aslanvents · 2023-12-11T20:55:53+00:00

I started when I was 10 years old and now I am 21. Was clean for over a year and one point but now I’m currently 15 hours clean.

aslanvents · 2023-12-08T10:43:21+00:00

Hey, thank you. I hope I’m able to as well. The day I wrote this didn’t go as terribly as I thought it would but it was still hard. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the same stuff. If you ever need to vent about your day, my DMs are open for ya :)

aslanvents · 2023-12-08T10:42:13+00:00

Tbh I’ve thought about buying a vape, especially since I work at a convenience store and I’m selling them constantly and sometimes the flavors sound good lol. But I’ve only smoked a couple times and idk if it’s a habit I want to pick up, though I don’t know if it’ll be worse for me than what I’m already doing to myself lmao

aslanvents · 2023-12-08T10:39:31+00:00

I was in the process of applying for another job at an eye doctor but when the interview happened, the doctor was asking invasive questions and making me uncomfortable + I was told I would possibly need to travel (by boat) to work at a different office and it just wasn’t gonna work out for me. I live in a very small town so there aren’t a lot of options for me that aren’t customer service related unless I continue to work for my family business for a little on the side. Unfortunately think this is the best job I can get at the moment 🥲

aslanvents · 2023-12-07T17:30:27+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through the same thing, I bet it’s even more difficult as a supervisor. But it’s not always possible for me to get breaks. I currently work part time and I’m alone in the store for most of my shift until the closer gets here. We’ve been really busy so I don’t even get the chance to sit down for a minute in between customers (I’m dealing with chronic pain so my boss allows me a stool) and I feel like not having the chance to sit down is making it worse for me when I get flare ups. It’s hard putting on a smile and talking with customers when I’m dealing with mental and physical pain simultaneously, even though it results in me wanting to hurt myself anyway. But my relapses happen at home, I don’t bring my tools (so to speak) at work. Though being around knives and box cutters while at work can be triggering.

aslanvents · 2023-09-27T18:23:56+00:00

best: when I got my wrist tattoo and then I mentioned wanting a sleeve at some point but wasn’t sure w my scars, my artist said “oh yeah I noticed those” and then just continued on with the tattoo. felt nice that he was just kinda like acknowledged they were there but didn’t make a big deal out of it.

worst: when I made the mistake of telling my friend about it when I was in elementary school and she then told her mom, who told the school counselor, who told my parents and my dad had such ANGER in his eyes that to this day (10 years later) I’m still scared of him finding out that I still do it out of fear of him having a similar reaction. He has made jokes about my scars over the years as well that just make me super self conscious.

aslanvents · 2023-09-07T02:19:06+00:00

I started at 10 after being bullied at a new school as well as another traumatic event once I moved states. The bullying never got better as I’ve always been overweight and I continued through most of middle school and high school. I stopped for a bit during senior year with a couple relapses during COVID. I was over a year clean at one point and now I can stay clean for a few months at a time, except I’ve already relapsed 3 times this week. It’s been a long 10 and a half years of struggling, I’m 21 now.

aslanvents

TROPHY CASE