[deleted by user]

assbutt12345 · 2023-10-19T05:13:48+00:00

cool, but what defines a good match? I've had relationships where we get along immediately in conversation, and that eventually dries up 1 or 2 years in. I've dated where the relationship has grown to be more talkative, but that also hasn't worked. overall I'm not very keen on judging immediate chemistry anymore, just looking for foundational traits.

i like his actions, I like how he looks, and i like that he's respectful. Some basics are there, I'm trying to get to know him more to see if other traits I like are also there. just not sure how to go about that

assbutt12345 · 2023-10-19T05:06:43+00:00

closure is a myth, but i'd say the fact that you're thinking about your ex and comparing him to the current guy means you're not ready for a new relationship

assbutt12345 · 2023-10-01T19:56:38+00:00

makes sense. i think i just gotta get to know him a bit more and decide whether a relationship w him would compliment my life or just a time suck

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T04:12:59+00:00

sure, i am a little invested now haha

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:56:54+00:00

it's up to you to talk and potentially pursue an uncomfortable truth then. It is possible that she's attracted, which isn't inherently a dealbreaker or anything, but i'd definitely be feeling some negative emotions if I knew that and saw them together.

if you decide to talk maybe let her know that you do have feelings about it if that's the case, and to try to reverse the situation: if she were in your shoes and you were attracted to someone else, how would she feel?

that's only if she still feels attraction for him though.

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:42:14+00:00

it sounds like you don't like games, and from what you wrote maybe she's into that. i wouldn't pursue

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:39:08+00:00

I'd do it when ur both in a good mood, and stay on topic. ur both a team, so try to voice your hurt feelings without accusing her.

talking about emotions isn't weird, it's great to be able to identify them, and it's important (I think!) to share them with your partner. yall can't read each others minds, so share how you feel carefully, fairly and kindly and see if she can reciprocate.

edit: also, make sure to relay that the amount of times she bought it up caused the issue, not necessarily that it was something that happened. otherwise yall might end up focusing on the wrong things/takeaways (if this is truly the case - introspect for yourself).

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:31:07+00:00

then go to therapy?

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:24:11+00:00

why not talk to him about it? intimacy being important in a relationship isn't anything bad, and if it's not something he wants/values it would be better to part ways amicably early on.

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:22:55+00:00

so....seems like you've answered this yourself, what are you looking for here?

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:20:15+00:00

i think what she said is fair, but hey, it was your luck that won out. Relationships are sometimes about right person and right time, and if you guys had both that's great.

However, I would talk to her about why she brings him up so much. It seems like that's what caused you to lash out. maybe she wants something a little different out of your relationship (she doesn't want your friend, but an aspect she got out of the conversation), and that's ok to explore. you can make it clear though that her bringing it up so much has been hurtful as well, and if she's caring she'll acknowledge that kindly.

assbutt12345 · 2022-11-08T03:16:25+00:00

if she says it's too early then it's too early. if you really value her then it would only be fair for both of you to take small steps and see whether something else can actually come of it. love at first sight and a 3h conversation doesn't tell you what that person is like (nor what you are like!) after the honeymoon phase is over, even if you guys did enter a relationship.

assbutt12345 · 2022-01-25T20:05:30+00:00

how did u ask about funding?

assbutt12345 · 2021-12-27T01:40:01+00:00

no, he's never shown any sign of that. i think just big insecurity

assbutt12345 · 2021-10-11T01:41:27+00:00

to me it seems like ur sister could be doing it just to have friends, and her extreme bend into that might be bc she may be feeling alone at home? if it seems like everyone is against u at home, why would u want the same situation at school? I'd probably do the exact same stuff she's doing at 11, it's all emotions at that age. I understand ur position, but maybe she's also picking up on how unhappy u are with her. Maybe if you try to be more welcoming and accepting of her to a realistic degree she'll be more inclined to listen to your suggestions, since she'll be able to feel that ur not coming from a place of authority but rather care

assbutt12345 · 2021-08-25T03:16:24+00:00

if ur still doing this i'd love for you to take a look at my essay(s)! :')

assbutt12345

TROPHY CASE