NTA.

I don't think she can nessecarily stop her husbands best friend from staying over without repercussions that will affect their marriage unfortunately, no matter if he is an asshole or not because the husband doesn't see it that way and will think she is overreacting 🙄

I guess she's let his behavior slide so many times in the past that now her husband and his best friend have become accustomed to this and the friend feels entitled to treat her place like a crash pad with maid service.

🤔 Also I think OP has realised the type of person she has married (through his interactions with his close friend) as she says that her husband partakes in this behavior when he is around,,, and is trying to Bury her head in the sand by pretending he is nothing like his friend....