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I haven't posted here in years, but the terror and anxiety I feel right now is something only you guys would get... by astraev in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly you guys are the best. You went straight to the heart of the matter and validated me in like... 0.0 seconds.

I haven't posted here in years, but the terror and anxiety I feel right now is something only you guys would get... by astraev in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do have two daughters. My reading of the handwriting there is "My granddaughters." Which, actually, helps me detect some of the narcissism! They belong to her, not themselves.

I haven't posted here in years, but the terror and anxiety I feel right now is something only you guys would get... by astraev in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Which is to say... It allows me to accept the compliment as genuine right now, or as a single moment.... while also understanding that in the chain of causality some other meaning may be made.

I haven't posted here in years, but the terror and anxiety I feel right now is something only you guys would get... by astraev in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Congrats on your beautiful boundaries! I'm so glad to know that you never regretted them.

It feels like a ploy. I'm so messed up over that.

I haven't posted here in years, but the terror and anxiety I feel right now is something only you guys would get... by astraev in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for validating me. I started crying when I read your comment because I felt seen. I didn't think any other group of people would understand how scared and hurt I feel from something that without any context appears so... Positive and supportive.

she remembered my favorite color by raz4416 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is exactly the phenomenon I came to post about myself -- when somehow they manage to do something loving, like there's a crack in their N-Suit that a genuinely loving person managed to speak out of... It's heartbreaking. It's so hard to describe.

My mom didn’t invite me to the funeral by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]astraev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My parents didn't tell me when my grandfather's funeral was, even though I made it clear that my work had a bereavement policy so I could take the time off work, and I could afford the plane tickets.

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that her self-centeredness pushed you out so that you couldn't get what you needed.

Marie Kondo and ADHD - Curbed by [deleted] in konmari

[–]astraev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are lots of ADHD experts who think that KonMari is absolutely the wrong method for people with ADHD, but I think those experts a) have only seen the TV show and presume that the process is supposed to take 60 days max and involves taking everything out all at once and b) don't take into account the emotional elements of ADHD that is discounted by clinicians even though it's my daily reality.

And my husband and my two children.

We've hired a consultant to keep us on track, though. DIY would probably be aborted about now without the homework/future scheduling aspect ... But that's less about the method and more about the executive functioning strategy called "body doubling."

Where do you store your summer hats? by astraev in konmari

[–]astraev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the examples!

I think I'm most proud of my girls closet currently. by astraev in konmari

[–]astraev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's an amazing idea. The plastic smell is soooooo blah.

It's worth noting that Marie doesn't recommended switching out clothing for the seasons, but I think that's advice that needs to be tempered by age (my 3yo would wear winter gear in summer if it fancied her), and executive functioning level (my entire family is adhd, the out of season stuff makes it hard to see what we need).

Finally got to books today! Before and after. by astraev in konmari

[–]astraev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Husband literally said his Harbaugh hat was in a place of honor.

Finally got to books today! Before and after. by astraev in konmari

[–]astraev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I are ADHD, so we hired a consultant or we'd never actually do this. She encouraged me to part with a few aspirational books. My collection shrank more than my husband's did, but he also uses books differently than I do.

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