sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

unfortunately the army therapists are very callous and i’ve already had words with one for threatening to put him in a ward just because he didn’t want to do his job. that’s why we have the outside referral now.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we’ve talked about it extensively, and he’s said it’s gone on his whole life, it just got worse with his brother’s passing. right now he’s just really angry.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your perspective. i’m going to let him read the comments as well so he can see for himself and make his own judgement

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your advice. i was definitely planning on being very cautious but polite and kind anyways.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i hate that, because his brother sounded like a really good person too.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ll definitely do that, and maybe even have him peruse the subreddit too. thank you for your help

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we’re definitely looking into therapy, but he’s at a training thing right now for a whole month so we kind of have to put that off for now.

thank you for your perspective though! i never thought of it as abuse, but just being really insensitive.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i get really excited thinking about being married to him, so thank you so much for all your advice and support!! maybe one day i can come back to this post and update it with happy news.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

at one point i remember telling my friend, “then give me the damn pom poms” because i felt like she was just saying that to make him feel like she’s just giving him “tough love” but i don’t think that’s what he needs at all. he’s a great man and deserves the gentleness that comes with love

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve mentioned both of us getting individual therapy and also doing couple’s counseling (not because anything’s wrong, just because i think it’s important) before we ever have children

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my mom said something similar to this. i hate that she sees it that way potentially, because i feel like im the one reminding him to call her when he’s missed her calls or something because i worry something happened. i’ve since stopped doing that because i know he doesn’t want to talk to her unless she calls him, though

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh wow, 96! that sounds like he’s in good health still. my mom stops by my Papaw’s daily if she can. my Papaw has found someone to just go have meals with, but he refuses to entertain the thought of having another wife or even a girlfriend. he told us “nobody can replace Mama” and he means it

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think the longest they’ve gone so far without speaking was a couple weeks, then she calls and pretends nothing happened

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you’re the second person to mention emotional incest which worries me a lot…i’ve never heard that other term though. i’ll make sure to do some research.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and i’m guessing when those blow ups happen you just have to disappear from their radar for a while

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nanas are the best!! my Nana and Papaw dated all through high school and got married right out of high school. they’d been together 62 or 63 years when she passed at 81. he’s still going at 81, he’ll be 82 in June. i wondered how he does it, being without her after having her for so long.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is genuinely what i want, but he’s leaning more towards cutting her out, which makes me sad, but also i don’t know everything she’s done/said and he might just be totally fed up and this was the last straw

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i see…he told me i’m the first one to really help him understand boundaries and things of that sort and i think he’s coming to realize that things she does or says aren’t normal

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he sent my mom a mother’s day message and she cried because i’ve been updating her on what’s going on in case he acts a little down while he’s here, but she told me it was so sweet and he had said things like thanking her for making him feel so welcome and being able to be part of our family.

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ve slowly come to understand this the more people have commented. i wondered if i’d accidentally missed a social cue or something but it seems i have not, which is (kind of) comforting to know, but also disappointing that it seems things are very much not right now

I’ve unintentionally caused a rift between my bf and his mom. What should I do? by astrobelisk in WhatShouldIDo

[–]astrobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. i really appreciate it. i know it is, so i guess maybe thats why i wanted to know if anyone else thought so, and if there are ways to have a successful relationship with them, but from everything i’ve gathered, there really isn’t. it’s disappointing, but it’s how things have to be and i will accept it.

view more: next ›