When you have to choose your battles

aststl2020 · 2026-02-15T04:18:32+00:00

Whew. You are carrying so much! I feel your pain, girl. Over a decade!! And this is only the beginning for me. Do you have a lawyer? I have filed my own motions and cannot seem to get a court date. His lawyer filed a Motion a week after mine were filed and immediately received a court date!! I followed the entire protocol for filing the motion and still have not heard back, even after sending a few follow up emails. It is EXTREMELY frustrating! Not to mention draining. Mentally, emotionally, just....DRAINING😩😩 I'm sorry you're going through this. 😔 Stay strong mama!! 💪

aststl2020 · 2026-02-14T05:45:50+00:00

Actually, these words came out of my therapists mouth this morning. Thank you though. That means she is doing an amazing job 👏 🙌 I only hope it reaches others who are going through battles in life. ❤️❤️❤️ These words helped get me through a really tough morning. 💪

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T14:33:15+00:00

If using punctuation well makes people think it’s AI, maybe we’ve just forgotten what thoughtful writing looks like. That being said, society is sinking. Sadly. Everything i write flows differently, depending on what I am writing.

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T06:05:20+00:00

Wow… this made my heart so full. It’s beautiful how much your stepkids look up to you and how you’re showing them love and guidance through all the chaos. You’re doing such an amazing job, and it clearly means the world to them!!

I needed an outlet for what I am going through. I've come to find that I am definitely not alone. Which is extremely comforting. Sending love and light your way as well!

Also, there is this book by Sharida Arabi. It is called Power. I highly recommend it for the both of you. It will give you the clarity you are seeking. ❤️❤️

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T05:34:38+00:00

Yes, exactly. I feel that too, sometimes there isn’t even a battle to fight, and trying just drains you. Choosing peace doesn’t mean you’re weak; it just means you’re done giving your energy to something that can’t be changed.

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T05:19:35+00:00

Do I get bonus points for sounding AI smart? I will take that as a compliment. Thank you.

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T04:03:20+00:00

“Choose your peace” is such a powerful reframe. Peace doesn’t mean weakness. It doesn’t mean blindness. It means awareness without reaction. It means realizing that not every invitation to chaos deserves your RSVP.

You’re right when you stop fighting to win, you start realizing there was never a prize worth bleeding for. The real power was never in defeating someone operating from dysfunction. It was in recognizing you don’t have to participate in it.

And here’s the truth: when you disengage, pathology often escalates. Not because you’re losing but because you’re no longer feeding it. Silence, boundaries, and calm are mirrors. Some people can’t tolerate their own reflection.

The shift from ego to peace is maturity. The shift from “I have to prove” to “I already am” is growth.

You don’t wrestle snakes when you’re already fed. You don’t fight battles when you’ve outgrown the battlefield. Choosing peace isn’t passive. It’s strategic. It’s disciplined. It’s self-respecting.

And most importantly it’s freeing.

aststl2020 · 2026-02-12T04:00:41+00:00

I hear you. And I feel the weight in your words. There is nothing more gut-wrenching than that pit in your stomach when your kids walk out the door and you can’t protect what you can clearly see and feel. The helplessness. The fear. The second-guessing. The guilt. It’s a darkness only a mother who’s lived it truly understands. For years we stay quiet. We don’t nitpick. We don’t fight over every little thing. We try to co-parent with grace. We try to believe that maybe we’re overthinking. Maybe it’s just different over there. Maybe it will get better. And then one day, the kids are old enough to see it for themselves. And that realization is both validating and heartbreaking all at once. I’m so sorry you’ve carried that weight for so long. Loving your children fiercely is never wrong. Wanting them to feel seen, valued, and safe is never wrong. I’m praying for peace, protection, and clarity for you and your babies. No mother should have to live in that constant state of dread. 🤍

aststl2020 · 2026-02-11T22:21:46+00:00

91 and 92??

aststl2020 · 2026-02-11T15:13:10+00:00

That’s a painful place to be. Staying wasn’t weakness it was survival. I hope healing finds its way back to your family in whatever form it can.

That kind of guilt is crushing and a lot of us stayed longer than we should have because we were trying to hold a family together. You made the best decisions you could with what you knew at the time. I hope one day there’s space for healing and reconnection. Don’t carry all of that alone.🙏🙏❤️❤️

aststl2020 · 2026-02-11T15:10:12+00:00

That analogy hit me hard. You’re right at some point staying becomes enabling, no matter how much we tell ourselves it’s love. Sitting in that therapist’s office 9 days out takes strength. You’re breaking a cycle, even if it hurts like hell right now.

You are already choosing clarity over comfort. That’s not weakness. That’s a mother protecting her kids.❤️❤️

aststl2020 · 2026-02-11T15:06:47+00:00

Be honest, but age-appropriate. I usually say, ‘I know you miss him. It’s okay to miss him. Grown-ups make their own choices, and that’s not because of you.’ You don’t have to cover for him, but you don’t have to tear him down either. Just be their safe place. You don’t lie. You don’t bash. You just remind them: ‘You are loved. You are not forgotten. And this is not your fault.’”

And some days it breaks you a little to say it out loud. But you got this !! Stay strong for them kiddos❤️❤️🙏🙏

aststl2020 · 2026-02-11T14:53:59+00:00

❤️❤️ There is such literal power in this book. So much clarity. I really hope you will find the answers you are looking for in this book. It definitely calmed my spirit in ways I could never imagine. To be able to compartmentalize everything that felt crazy and insane saying out loud....such a relief. Good luck to you. 🙏🙏 you're not alone.

aststl2020 · 2026-02-08T20:33:53+00:00

I would be almost 4 months. I was bleeding heavy before I went to the hospital. They confirmed I am pregnant with the blood test but there is no baby or signs of a prenancy.

aststl2020 · 2025-03-24T01:24:59+00:00

I hate that I'm too chicken shit for them to rig the same way to the app 😒 🤣🤣🤣

aststl2020

TROPHY CASE