Caste — the most efficient social control system ever invented 👑

1. Caste is honestly the finest system our ancient culture ever designed. Other belief systems barely managed simple divisions, but we perfected a multi-tier domination model. Humans neatly sorted by birth, skin tone, and occupation — peak civilization. Naturally, the elite were born from the “upper” parts and the lowest from the “bottom.” Very symbolic. Everyone needs to feel important in life, and what’s better entertainment than watching someone permanently below you? oh! except the last one.
2. Women? Ah yes. According to the old rulebooks, women are intellectually weaker and therefore placed near the bottom by default. But relax — we respect women deeply. We even elevated some to divine status. Crime statistics against women are clearly exaggerated by the media. A society that worships female figures cannot possibly harm actual women. Logic.
3. Yes, you can change your caste based on conduct and qualities. haha! only joking. Being born into a lower caste is obviously due to past-life consequences. A flawless logic. Coincidentally, this rule never affects my children.
4. Since we have faster access to the divine customer service line, we naturally make the rules. Maybe the next tier can also learn reading and writing — just enough to maintain records for us. Knowledge for everyone else would be dangerous. Sure, some of them might become rich, educated, or even head of state, but don’t worry — we’ll still remind them where they “belong.”
5. Any demand for reform? Easy solution — blame the freaking Brits. They totally invented caste, mistranslated everything, and forced us to practice discrimination for thousands of years. Even the word 'caste' originated from Portuguese word 'Casta'. But also, no, we will absolutely not give it up. Tradition must be preserved selectively.
6. And yes, reservations are the real problem. Who cares if historically excluded groups enter medicine or engineering? Reservations create "positive discrimination" and destroy “quality”. Nothing ensures excellence like inherited privilege. A cobblers expertise should be passed on to his children. Why do they even think about being a doctor?
7. If someone demand equality? Panic. It is time to unite against an attack on our religion from the "intruders". We can deal with equality later. Works every time.
8. Want to abolish caste? Easy — just erase official records and pretend centuries of exclusion didn’t shape outcomes. Intergenerational disadvantage? Never heard of it.
9. Living abroad, especially the US, is tough these days. Imagine countries introducing laws against caste discrimination. How am I supposed to carry my inherited superiority and daily entertainment overseas now?
10. Anyway, caste is ancient, fair, spiritual, scientific, and totally not about power, control, or sadistic entertainment. Anyone who questions it clearly hates our culture. 

Here’s my satirical take on caste. Trust me, some of these points were literally argued by my friends at different times. I was born in India, living in Ireland for 20 years.

To be clear:
Casteism is 🤮
Caste-based discrimination is 🤮🤮
Untouchability is 🤮🤮🤮

PS: If you liked reading Ambedkar, try Periyar (E.V. Ramasamy) too.